Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.
Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….
Simple ads are always the best.
As was I.
So where is it?
I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.
Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
As good an explanation as any.
Because cleanliness is so important.
Stupid products….
Keeping the American economy strong for decades.
The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…
Most important meal of the day? Maybe.
But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.
So no cereal sippy cups for us.
Toaster bags.
Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?
I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.
No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.
Pooch Selfies.
Kill me now.
Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.
And while this may look a little odd?
The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.
But this?
This is a bridge too far.
No.
Just… no.
I don’t know about you?
But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.
Because I saw this in the store a while back….
And have to admit it was a little frightening.
For anyone interested in a life threatening coffee experience, you can find it here.
Their advertising tag line is “It will wake the dead”…. so please be careful who you give it to.
The world has enough overly caffeinated zombies as is.
Proof positive you can find blog fodder everywhere.
Not being a Slim Jim or pork rind fan I passed on these…
I mean, hey… I like spicy food.
But not hot enough to make my pig squeal.
Then there was this –
A clever ad gimmick for Walking Dead fans, but I can turn into a zombie by drinking just about anything.
No apocalypse necessary.
I did buy these lemons.
Although I was little disappointed they didn’t have seed spitting lips.
Next time I’ll look for the GMO versions.
They’re always more interesting.
And finally, back to the liquor aisle.
While the name Screwball caught my attention….
I could come up with no reasonable explanation for adding peanut butter to a perfectly good whisky.
That’s just wrong.
Bringing weird and not so wonderful products to my reader’s attention.
It’s what I do.
And I know you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to have one of these for your very own, so…
Yes.
It’s a onesie that’s also a seat.
How can you go wrong?
No more standing for endless hours at your kid’s soccer game. No more shuffling on sore feet while waiting on line at the DMV.
There’s a stupid product made just for you.
And a stupid video to accompany it.
Admit it…
You want one.
Stupid products. They’re everywhere…
Even here.
I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?
Well, this one is for your butt.
The bad part of a fart?
Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…
For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?
Next… no tie shoelaces.
Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.
On first glance this looked promising….
Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.
Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?
Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.
Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.
No…
I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.
As I said, infinite possibilities.
If you see this on your grocer’s shelf?
Keep walking.
I taste tested it for you and it’s horrible.
Oh sure, it’s pretty.
But it tastes neither like Bourbon nor Vanilla.
Very disappointing.
Take my advice. Stick to the original….
As I was strolling the local hardware store the other day, I came across an item that was begging to be blogged about.
(Yes, I really heard it begging… so now I have to share.)
‘SnotTape.
Let that sink in a moment.
And then visualize some over paid ad exec on Madison Avenue yelling, “Eureka! That new product? Let’s name it after snot!”
I wasn’t sure where… or why they came up with that name, until I said it out loud a few times and realized it’s a contraction for “it’s not tape”.
Which, of course it is.
It’s tape.
So wth?
And because I’m a dedicated blogger, I did some research… which lead me to the heretofore unknown Professional Painting Contractors Forum. (Oh, the things I do for my readers)
While I agreed with this commenter’s review…
It was the next two responses that made me want to hire these contractors no matter what they charge.
Bravo Professional Painting Contractors Forum.
I agree.
But Snittens?
Now there’s a product worth having.
You’re welcome.
River's world..... 