Because laughter is the only contagious thing I want to catch.
That sounds about right.
We didn’t.
We really didn’t….
I’m all for this.
As hard as lock down has been, there are some people I’ve been quite happy to avoid.
I could totally rock that look.
Yeah.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with the conspiracy theorists.
That’s so wrong.
Tight pants.
A pandemic symptom I can totally relate to.
Which brings me to the new anthem for the Covid age.
Sing it sister!
Maybe it’s just me, but when I see a list of “must have” products?
It’s a guarantee I mustn’t.
Do I need a magnetized bin to save my lint?
I most decidedly do not.
Does anyone?
With my luck I’d save lint and the red squirrels would steal it and start nest building again.
So basically this is a tarp with a square frame and handles. It costs $30 and you still have to pay someone to haul it away. Makes me glad I live in the country where we can just load up our truck and drive to the dump.
Is this a joke?
No one wants to time warp back to 80’s hair.
Ack!
Eco friendly bamboo? Fine.
But charcoal bristles treated with carbon?
This is not a look I care to embrace.
And finally….
Sorry, but I’m thinking my inner mermaid is better left unrevealed.
Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.
Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….
Simple ads are always the best.
As was I.
So where is it?
I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.
Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
As good an explanation as any.
Because cleanliness is so important.
Can’t find a mask to suit your personality?
I think I can help with that.
For all my wonderful women friends?
For all my slightly wine addicted friends?
For Star Wars fans like James.
Do you love horses… or just want to look like one?
I’ve got your back.
There are even masks for those who need to read lips.
And of course, there are masks made just for me..
And because I shamefully admit there are multiple tie dye items in my closet….
This one is calling my name.
I should probably wear one of those when assisting my husband with outdoor projects.
Dr. Seuss has a say…
And finally, if you’re just sick and tired of everyone?
I’ve always had naturally curly hair. And while that didn’t allow me to blend in during the long straight 70’s, I came into my own during the bigger the better 80’s.
Women still pay large amounts of money for perms, but fresh from the shower and allowed to air dry?
My hair looks like this –
I normally embrace my curl… except on damp days when I tend to look like this:
But there are times when I’d like a change. A slightly more controlled look.
Before I found the wonder product I’m about to share with you …. with no remuneration from the company though damn it, they should… this meant schlepping to a hair salon and paying someone to spend an hour pulling and tugging my locks into submission with a hot blow dryer and a medieval torture device large round brush.
But now?
Now that I’ve found this miracle wand?
It’s smooth sailing when ever I want.
In no time flat my hair is …
Flat!
And now that you’ve seen more pictures of the back of my head than you ever thought possible?
Go get yourself one of these.
It’s quick, it’s easy… and if you can twirl spaghetti?
You can have straight… or in my case straighter… hair than you ever dreamed of at home.
I mean really.
It physically hurt.
But I was with the husband and he looked at me like I was a lunatic when I told him I needed to try on a pair.
Damn.
I could totally have rocked these during mud season.
No self respecting Mainer should be without one.
I can’t eat them any more….
But at least now I can wear them.
Though not nearly as well as Patrick Stewart.
There are times when you see something, and you simply have to.
Which is how I felt when I saw a friend of my husband’s wearing this shirt on a FB post.
I knew I had to purchase one for my other half.
I think it’s perfect.
During the plague and it’s subsequent lock down, women haven’t had many reasons to dress up.
No dinner out, no theater, no cocktail parties. Most of the time we’re schlepping around the house in our favorite yoga pants and a ratty tee shirt.
Trips to the grocery store are now big occasions. Outfits must be coordinated and accessorized accordingly.
So tell me, how’d I do?
Grey sweater, pink and grey floral mask.
I’m ashamed to admit I now have at least a dozen masks in assorted patterns and colors.
Pathetic, but what’s a girl to do? It’s the new fashion staple.
Nothing too exciting on the grocery store trip this time around…. there’s still no toilet paper.
Or flour, or soup.
But now we can add pasta to the list of hoarded items.
The only kind I could find?
Turmeric spaghetti.
To which I say not just no….
But Hell no.
I’m speaking of the (oh so helpful) post I did the other day about that most wonderful product…… the butt mask.
I hate to say it, but I’m afraid that bit me in the ass.
You see, right after I posted it? I noticed I had a few new followers:
Not the shoe woman or the wine lover… those are totally understandable.
No, I’m talking about Pistol Pete.
Whose blogs are a little out of my area of expertise.
Am I ready for men’s thong underwear?
No, Pete. I most assuredly am not.
And if Pete wasn’t bad enough? I also picked up his alter ego Daniel Alexander.
I must not know about this.
Really. I mustn’t.
Nothing. There’s no occasion that calls for male G string underwear.
Office party? Nope!
Dinner with friends? Nyet!
Your mother in law’s birthday? Well, maybe….
I’ll throw this one over to my male readers.
What do you say guys… are they comfortable?
In closing, the moral of the story is….
Don’t blog about butt masks.
And say goodbye to Pistol Pete as fast as you can.
River's world..... 