Tag Archives: humor

Cape Cod Day 3, Wicked, Plimoth Plantation and some Indians.

 

(And before you laugh at my incorrect title spelling, it happens to be the old fashioned way Gov. William Bradford referred to the original colony and in order to differentiate it from the town of Plymouth, the museum chose the alternate version for it’s name. So there spelling Nazi’s!)

(And before you food picture screamers start screaming for food, here are the pics from the previous night’s dinner that I forgot to include in the last post.)

Wicked.

A restaurant and wine bar in Mashpee famous for their wood fired pizza.

 

IMG_8559

 

The first thing I thought of when we walked in was why do they have candy corn lights hanging over the bar?

 

IMG_8557

 

But then I tasted their fabulous Basil Lemon Fizz…

 

IMG_8560

 

And couldn’t have cared less.

Since they’re famous for pizza, we had pizza.

 

IMG_8558

 

Though the menu made me apprehensive about choosing the wrong combination. Who needs that kind of ridicule at the dinner table?

 

IMG_8561

 

We went with the grilled portabella with spinach, roasted red peppers, caramelized onions, mozzarella, roasted garlic and truffle combo… and in a word? Yum!

The morning of vacation day 3 dawned bright and sunny although cold, so we actually left the Cape Cod proper and headed north to Plymouth.

 

map6

 

Yes, that Plymouth. Home of the Rock, the Pilgrims and the first Thanksgiving. We were going to get our history geek on.

 

IMG_8574

 

And just like Hyannis builds an economy around the Kennedys? Plymouth builds it’s entire town on the Pilgrims landing there first. ( The question is… did they? More on that later.)

 

IMG_8699

 

Entering through the visitors center, we began our journey back in time to the 17th century. This is a living museum and replicates what life would have been like through interaction with Native American and Colonists. It was a blast!

First up… the Indian Village, where we saw a dug out canoe.

 

IMG_8576

 

And a live demonstration of how they’re made.

 

IMG_8577

 

By Native American twins.

 

IMG_8582

 

No, they weren’t actors. Though their tribe was actually from New York state and not local to Plymouth. They patiently explained the process involved in crafting this sea going canoe and believe me when I tell you it was cold that day. All the tourists were bundled up and these guys were half naked. Which, to be honest…. wasn’t a hardship for me.

😈

 

 

This area is right on the water and there was a pretty stiff breeze. Yes, there was a little heat from the fire but not enough to make me strip… nope. Uh uh!

The fascinating part was, when I asked him why he wasn’t cold like the rest of us…. his answer astounded me. Diet, and conditioning. He told us that Indians traditionally pay close attention to nutrition, eating a mostly plant based diet supplemented by light fish and chicken in the summer and red meat only in the winter, when the body requires more fuel to maintain it’s internal temperature. He said the white man’s habit of covering himself in heavy clothing when it’s cold tricks the body to believing it’s summer all year long, therefor not allowing it acclimate naturally.

Seriously, I was shivering in 19 degree wind chill …. and he was bare chested.

 

IMG_8588

 

Another interesting fact? They were getting ready to submerge all the canoes in the water for the winter so they would freeze and be preserved for next year.

Any guess what this is?

 

IMG_8587

 

People were guessing hunting blind or something to do with food storage but believe it or not… it’s a jungle gym for children.

 

IMG_8591

 

There were multiple structures to explore…

 

IMG_8593

 

And I seriously hoped the husband wasn’t getting any construction ideas.

 

IMG_8595

 

No, we don’t need one of these at home.

 

IMG_8596

 

Though the dolls with their own dug out canoe were sweet.

 

IMG_8597

 

It’s strange, you can read all the books you want…. but walking through the village and experiencing how the original Americans lived first hand? Gives you an entirely new understanding.

 

IMG_8598

 

This was the winter long house….

 

IMG_8599

 

Where multiple families spent the colder months.

 

IMG_8601

 

Traditionally 3 fires would be burning at all times, and yes. It was a wee bit smokey.

 

IMG_8603

 

The woman in the middle was our guide for this section…

 

IMG_8600

 

And though in Native dress…

 

IMG_8604

 

You can tell she didn’t subscribe to the bare chested boys diet regimen. Wool socks and furs for her, even inside.

 

IMG_8603

 

I can’t imagine 20-30 people living and sleeping in there together for months on end… no less your entire family.

I’d be suicidal in a week.

 

IMG_8605

 

We sat on these beds/benches and let me tell you….

 

IMG_8606

 

I don’t care how many animals skins you throw on them…. they were hard as a rock.

Privacy? What’s that. You’d literally be head to toe with Uncle Joe and cousin Sue all winter.

To which I have 3 words….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cape Cod Day 2… Beer. More beer. And a sunset at the beach.

 

Heading back to our resort after lunch we stopped in at Devil’s Purse brewery in South Dennis.

 

IMG_8529

 

It’s an unassuming little place in a warehouse, with a beam for a bar…

 

IMG_8530

 

And slab topped barrel tables with no seats. Personally I’m not fond of this concept, but space was limited and they probably don’t want to encourage you to linger.

That being said their beer was good. Very good… and we enjoyed our time there.

 

IMG_8528

 

Sadly, they didn’t do flights which is my preferred way to sample a new brewery’s offerings.

 

IMG_8527

 

But they did offer 4 ounce pours… (at roughly a dollar an ounce!)  and we tried quite a few.

They specialize in European style beer and we specialize in never liking the same one. The Pollock RIP IPA was too bitter for me, while the Shore Laddie blackberry porter was too rich for him. But we both loved their plum saison Season In Hell…. enough to buy a growler to take home.

The tasting room is also dog friendly which is fun.

 

IMG_8532

 

No, Fido wasn’t drinking. His owner just wanted a good picture.

Sound like anyone you know…?

 

 

Back in Hyannis, we decided to stop at the Cape Cod brewery which is by far the largest and most popular.

 

IMG_8537

 

But as with most things, size doesn’t matter.

(Sorry fellas, but it’s true)

 

IMG_8538

 

Saturday afternoon at 3:45 and the place was packed. Though why that was, I really can’t say.

 

IMG_8536

 

When we got to the bar…. we were told they were closing in 15 minutes and wouldn’t be able to do a flight, but we could order a small pour or two.

 

 

Please explain this reasoning, because I’m confused. You do flights, but won’t give us one because you’re closing soon…. but you will pour us multiple smalls.  What’s the difference?

And to that…. closing at 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon. WTH? When we asked why they closed so early on the weekend, we were told it’s because their workers want to have fun too.

 

 

It’s a good thing the entire restaurant and bar industry doesn’t follow this trend….we’d all be forced to have fun at home.

And no one wants that.

 

IMG_8539

 

But, it was beer and we must drink. Which we did, though I wish we hadn’t…

Personal table top ring toss games aside, their beer was as flat and uninteresting as their let’s close early!  business plan. We drank 4 between us and I couldn’t even finish one of mine.

I. Left. Beer. On. The. Table.

Yeah, that’s bad.

 

IMG_8540

 

And yet we had bartenders tell us this is the tourist’s preferred brand.

Okay, they have a gift store.

 

IMG_8541

 

And heavily merchandise their product.

 

IMG_8542

 

But it will take more than that to get me to drink it again.

We drove back to the resort at dusk, remembering that the desk clerk recommended we watch the sunset at the nearby South Cape Beach State Park.

 

IMG_8547

 

So thank you Sea Mist Resort desk clerk.

 

IMG_8546

 

We took your advice.

 

IMG_8543

 

And ended our first full day at the Cape….

 

IMG_8548

 

Surrounded by natural beauty….

 

IMG_8550

 

Fresh ocean air…

 

IMG_8554

 

Beautiful colors…

 

IMG_8555

 

And a growing appreciation for your part of the world.

No funny business….

 

Just a heartfelt Merry Christmas to my loyal readers.

 

video-christmas-background

 

Wishing you joy…

 

Awesome-Christmas-Tree-decoration

 

And a Christmas Day filled with everything that makes your heart sing.

 

1420687924467

 

May your tree stay vertical, may your outdoor lights stay lit…

 

3681-christmas-wreath

 

And may the birds not strip your wreath down to the wire.

(Speaking from experience)

 

post-page-header-christmas-service

 

And now seems a perfect time to say thanks….

Thanks for being there when I log in.

Thanks for putting up with the 112 part series of my vacations and my endless photos of rocks.

Thanks for the laughter, and the snarky banter.

But most of all?

Thanks for not posting those sickeningly sweet pictures of Elf on a Shelf.

 

53fc5689d787716830e2db123e78f887

 

I really hate that little bastard.

 

929a410cbdac8756a4811ba2bddd7256

 

(Okay, there was a small amount of funny business.

So sue me…)

 

 

Merry Christmas Eve interruption…

 

As you’ve probably guessed…  (Or if you hadn’t? You should have.)  we’re currently off on another adventure.

And have been for the last 11 days.

 

 

Yes, our annual Christmas vacation.

No holiday stress. No decorating. No cooking. No family drama. We leave it all behind, and have since December 2015.

Why?

Because I used to be Christmas crazy.

 

221144-I-Christmas-Harder-Than-You

 

I spent a fortune, I decorated everything that stood still…. (yes, I’m ashamed to say there was even a tree on my toilet.)

 

Img_1294

 

I drove myself nuts finding the absolutely perfect gifts for people who didn’t appreciate it and cooked the absolutely perfect meal for family who couldn’t care less and always complained.

Maybe my mother dying was the catalyst. But in 2015 we took a trip to the Poconos…. had a blast, and never looked back.

Do I miss the beautiful live fir tree in the living room?

 

016

 

Yes.

I also miss all the crazy outside lights.

 

195

 

The well house…

 

IMG_5660

 

The stone wall…

 

IMG_4839

 

The funky alligator….

 

Img_1313

 

And reindeer who were annually buried up to their butts in white stuff.

 

Img_1114

 

The lights in the windows…

 

Img_1139

 

And on the bushes.

 

IMG_3170

 

The sparkling balls on the table…

 

IMG_3172

 

That caught the sun and turned our living room into a Christmas disco.

 

Img_1152

 

The running reindeer on the garage.

 

007

 

The ribboned garlands….

Yes, I miss it all.

But do I miss the 2 solid weeks of work it took to get everything set up (in the snow , ice and wind) and the solid week of work it took to take it all down (in sub zero temperatures with ice and wind) ?

No. I most definitely do not.

But rest assured I’m not totally Grinchy this year, I did put up a tree.

 

tree

 

This trip?  Williamsburg, Virginia until Dec. 30th. Meeting old friends and getting our geek on in a marvelous area filled with American history.

Colonial settlements? Check.

Revolutionary War? Check.

Civil War? Check.

I just hope 2 weeks is enough time.

And I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess there might be a few pictures to post when we get back.

 

 

Oh, don’t be so dramatic.

I should be done by …. June.

 

 

 

Cape Cod Day 2, a feel for the Cape…. and food.

 

map3

 

Leaving Hyannis, we headed out on Route 28 towards Dennisport.

 

IMG_8492

 

Past marshes…

 

IMG_8489

 

Windswept grasses…

 

IMG_8493

 

And homes that perch along the shores.

 

IMG_8499

 

With weathered shingles and wide porches to catch the breeze and the views.

 

IMG_8504

 

These are the homes I think of when I envision the Cape.

 

IMG_8503

 

Fabulous places built to withstand the elements.

 

IMG_8511

 

And windmills?

 

IMG_8510

 

No, not usually. But we saw quite a few of them.

 

IMG_8513

 

As well as homes with their very own lighthouses.

 

IMG_8514

 

Tell your mother in law her bedroom is up there and see how often she comes to visit.

 

building-up-mother-in-law-memes

 

But enjoying the scenery is hard work, so…

 

IMG_8506

 

Lunch….

 

IMG_8535

 

At Clancy’s in Dennisport.

 

IMG_8524

 

Perched on the Swan River….

 

IMG_8516

 

We dined, and drank… with a view.

 

IMG_8523

 

And since cranberries rule in the Cape…

 

IMG_8515

 

I had the Cape Cod cranberry mule.

 

IMG_8517

 

Along with some rich creamy chowder…

 

IMG_8519

 

And a wonderful scallop roll I forgot to photograph until I had demolished it.

 

IMG_8520

 

I know.

 

 

But hey, I was hungry… be happy you got soup.

 

IMG_8521

 

And a picture of the pretty ladies room sinks…

 

IMG_8522

 

With free salt rub, that the bartender told us everyone steals. Bowl, saucer, spoon et al.

WTH ladies?

Share with your sisters.

 

 

Cape Cod, Day 2… JFK memorial park, the beach and some grazing geese.

 

Close to the harbor we found a nice beach…

 

IMG_8451

 

Framed by those lovely shingle sided homes that are so typically Cape Cod.

 

IMG_8449

 

And quintessentially coastal New England.

 

IMG_8448

 

I’ve always loved them.

 

IMG_8447

 

Up from the beach?

 

IMG_8460

 

Canada Geese, lined up like bowling pins.

 

IMG_8486

 

I love me some goosers!

 

IMG_8465

 

And behind the goosers?

 

IMG_8456

 

The JFK memorial.

 

IMG_8472

 

On this day, quiet…

 

IMG_8475

 

Reverential…

 

 

 

And filled with grazing geese.

 

IMG_8469

 

I imagine this park is packed during the summer….

 

IMG_8468

 

But happily we had it mostly to ourselves that day.

 

IMG_8487

 

Well, us….

 

 

 

And 17 adorable water fowl.

 

IMG_8480

It’s time for Spam.

 

 

I’ve been so busy posting vacation photos I fear I’ve been neglecting my ever loyal, and extremely prolific spam contributors.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

 

steps to writing an sat essay
an hour ago·

bclforge.com

I congratulate, what words… a remarkable idea

 

I believe this post consisted of making fun of Duluth Trading Post’s expensive underwear. Not such a remarkable idea really, but to each their own.

 

maxresdefault

 

 

 

the elegant essay writing lessons student book
3 hours ago·

mmsoftek.com

This question is not clear to me.

It’s beer.

I was getting it on.

I’m not sure how much clearer I could be….

 

imagesP5BDL1Q9

 

 

 

essay writing contest 2017
5 hours ago·

owlrangers.com

I consider, that you commit an error. I can prove it. Write to me in PM, we will communicate.

 

I can’t honestly say I even remember what this post was about, but I’m pretty sure I don’t need to communicate with you about any of it’s errors. Geesh!

 

error

 

what to charge for essay writing
7 hours ago·

e-vocable.com

Attempt not torture.

Okay, I know the Liebsters are annoying, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say that they’re torture…

 

hAF0D32A3

 

 

porn
2 days ago·

goo.gl/maps/SFAt4vH9jS1unsiW7

Hi there, I found your web site by means of Google
at the same time as looking for a comparable matter, your web site got
here up, it appears to be like good.

 I am gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate for those who continue this in future.

Lots of folks will probably be benefited from your writing.
Cheers!

 

 

While I’m a bit creeped out a site called ‘porn’ likes my blog, I’m more disturbed that they’re going to be careful of brussels. What did those innocent green sprouts ever do to them?

 

7d6539807994fd125186287e3d5e4f2d

 

2 days ago·

tinyurl.com/wlwqnsk

You really make it seem really easy together with your presentation however I in finding this topic to be actually something which
I believe I would never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely huge for me.
I am having a look forward to your next submit, I’ll try
to get the hang of it!

 

And while you may say a lot of things about my blog…

Too complicated isn’t usually the first thing that comes to mind.

 

 

So ends the respite in between vacation post series.

Cape Cod here we come!

(Yes, it was a single post respite. Hope you enjoyed it!)

White Mountains trip…. last night, last day, last post in the series.

 

A full day of resort hopping on day 7 made us hungry so we stopped at an inn near our resort that had a well recommended British pub/restaurant.

 

IMG_8326

 

The Jolly Drayman seemed inviting enough.

 

IMG_8336

 

And though it was a very small place with limited seating…

 

IMG_8328

 

I was willing to like it.

It’s a shame I couldn’t.

 

IMG_8332

 

What English pub worth it’s salt only has 1 British beer on tap? Where was the Harp? The Smithwicks? The Old Speckled Hen? Yes, there was Guinness thank God….

But Pabst Blue Ribbon? Come on!

It went downhill from there.

 

IMG_8327

 

A limited menu.

A disinterested, unfriendly server.

Uncomfortable seats.

 

IMG_8334

 

And the worst beef Wellington I’ve ever had.

 

IMG_8335

 

The husband had a not nearly hot enough beef stew ( with mashed potatoes?)  that must have weighed 12 pounds…  served in a fish bowl.

 

IMG_8330

 

Framed fart humor not withstanding….

I wouldn’t go back.

Day 8…. the departure.

One more breakfast under the canoe.

 

IMG_8249

 

And beside the twig lights.

 

IMG_8248

 

We checked out and said goodbye to the dangerous looking ski motif rocking chairs…

 

IMG_8337

 

And laughed at the resort’s wedding advertisement for the last time.

 

IMG_8247

 

Heck, that’s as good a reason as any… right?

 

IMG_8299

 

Through one more covered bridge…

 

IMG_8245

 

And because you know my husband can’t drive past an antique store.

 

IMG_8243

 

Funny part is, I went outside to wait for him because the owner was a crotchety old man I didn’t like the look of.

A few minutes later the husband comes out and I can hear that old man screeching his lungs out like a lunatic, cursing my husband from here to next Sunday.

Apparently husband had the audacity to take an old magazine out of it’s plastic sleeve and flip through it. Guess that’s a no no in the mountains.

Anyway, vacation over.

Home safe and sound with…. how shall we say?

 

IMG_8340

 

Some coffee and a few beauty products for my cabinets.

Hey, if they’re going to charge an extra $25 resort fee per day for that lousy condo?

I’m going to fill my suitcase on the way out.

 

 

The end.

(You may now officially breathe that sigh of relief you’ve been holding.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Resort hopping Part 3… The Eagle Mountain House.

 

Last on our list of resorts that day was an old and well known establishment.

 

IMG_8323

 

New England is full of quirky places like this.

 

IMG_8322

 

With a nice big porch…

 

IMG_8303

 

And a nice big view…

 

IMG_8305

 

It was a pleasant spot to end the day.

 

IMG_8304

 

Charming…

 

IMG_8306

 

Cozy…

 

IMG_8309

 

And full of antiques….

 

IMG_8307

 

It was instantly welcoming.

 

IMG_8308

 

I can’t say it any better than that.

 

IMG_8312

 

The bar.

 

 

Oh, stuff it Dorothy.

You know us better by now.

 

IMG_8317

 

But amusing sign aside…

 

IMG_8311

 

The mushroom risotto cake appetizer left a lot to be desired, as did the cranberry gin fizz.

A definite meh.

 

IMG_8318

 

We only stayed for one round and then headed into the gift shop… where I saw a wine tag that made me laugh.

 

IMG_8316

 

As well as…

Are you ready for this?

A bucket of ducks!

 

IMG_8313

 

Christ on a cracker….enough with the rubber ducks.

This was getting creepy.

 

IMG_8320

 

Bidding farewell to the hotel, and the ducks….

 

IMG_8321

 

It took all I could do to convince the husband he could not go rummage in the establishment’s old slate roofed barn.

 

IMG_8325

 

The mere thought of not being able to gather up all the unloved tools and rusted treasures that must be stored in there? Practically ruined his night…

 

 

Resort hopping Part 2. The Mountain View Grand.

 

Hidden away in tiny Whitefield, New Hampshire is a gem.

 

IMG_8254

 

A sprawling hotel…

 

IMG_8255

 

Packed with old world charm.

Sadly they were renovating the front entrance when we visited so we had to sneak in the side.

 

IMG_8267

 

Look at those doors!

 

IMG_8258

 

Chess anyone?

 

IMG_8260

 

I’m a sucker for a good porch.

 

IMG_8265

 

And this one did not disappoint.

 

IMG_8259

 

I could happily plop here with a good book….

 

IMG_8263

 

A pitcher of margaritas…

 

IMG_8262

 

And never leave.

 

IMG_8269

 

Back inside, I checked out the wall of history…

 

IMG_8268

 

And some great old photographs…

 

IMG_8266

 

IMG_8273

 

While the husband continued his “I shall pee everywhere I can in Western Maine and New Hampshire” challenge with an upscale rest room this time.

And speaking of rest rooms…

 

IMG_8270

 

Even I had to check out the pink marble in theirs.

But ooh la la…

 

IMG_8272

 

There were private sinks inside the ladies room stalls.

Is that some chic shit or what?

 

IMG_8285

 

Moving on through the lounge…

 

IMG_8275

 

We found a dining room… and the place where we would spend the next two hours.

 

IMG_8284

 

The bar.

 

 

Don’t look surprised, you knew it was coming.

 

IMG_8279

 

One Lemonflower Martini…

 

IMG_8276

 

One Cranberry Orange Margarita…

 

IMG_8281

 

And one Melon Margarita later…

 

IMG_8283

 

(Don’t judge me.

They had a 6 page cocktail list and tequila soaked cranberries…. I had to.)

 

IMG_8280

 

There were some crab cakes.

Some smiley face crab cakes… and yes, that was on purpose.

 

IMG_8282

 

Crab cakes weren’t supposed to be served that time of day, or at all in the tavern for that matter….. but when you make friends with the bartender?

Anything is possible.

 

IMG_8286

 

An afternoon well spent, we poured ourselves out the door.

 

IMG_8288

 

And lamented the fact we wouldn’t be back anytime soon.

 

IMG_8290

 

Even mid facelift..

She’s an elegant old broad.