Remember the Covid piñata I bought for the Christmas in July party?
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It was a huge hit. Everyone got in the spirit and had ideas on where to hang it.
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Not wanting the contents to spill into the pool, I recommended a nearby tree.
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A little lower please.
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Blindfolds were acquired and the swinging began.
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Poor girl had no idea my evil husband was messing with her aim. She managed to knock the germ off its hanger but didn’t break it… so it was rehung and more turns were taken.
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The pre med boyfriend finally bashed it open … (although it was against someone’s car, oops!) and pandemic appropriate goodies spilled out.
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They were quickly scooped up and examined. At first people laughed, because how often do you have portable toilet paper in a piñata?
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But then everyone was stuffing their pockets for the next apocalyptic run on Charmin.
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The Covid ball?
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It looked rather like a dirty Pac Man and was claimed as well.
Some years, if we’re not traveling… we spend Christmas Day with friends. They tend to have less emotional baggage than family, and are generally a lot more fun. Of course last year, Covid ruined everything about the holidays and we neither traveled nor made merry with friends. Boo to global pandemics! They’re such a buzz kill.
Our friends, being fun loving (as well as gift greedy) have decided to celebrate 2020’s lost holiday in July. (It will be a barbecue/pool party at our friend’s newly purchased house/horse farm/how the Hell is a 50 something single woman going to take care of this huge spread by herself.)
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We’ve been invited and encouraged to get into the Christmas in July spirit…. so naturally I will be wearing this:
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Because nothing says Ho! Ho! Ho! like Santa in a mankini.
I will also be bringing this:
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A Covid themed piñata, so we can all take our frustrations over the past year out on something other than our spouses.
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Yes. To all of that. And I won’t be filling it with candy, no. In honor of the shit show that was 2020 I will fill it with these:
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What are those you ask? Only the perfect gift to give your friends in case certain items become hard to find again.
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Portable toilet paper! Am I a genius or what?
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And to further get into the Christmas spirit? I’ve purchased this 2020 totally went down the drain themed tree.
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I did not however purchase the accompanying ornaments.
One little picture of Dudley on Facebook. That’s all it took for the Catopia algorithm to switch into high gear. And today? Unfortunately it’s bathroom themed.
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Yikes.
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Not anymore, no. Although thanks to Covid and an injured knee…. there is a whole lot more of it.
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Wow.
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I’d say this poster is a little cheeky, but that’s a tad too on point.
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If Dudley wanders in and hands me the toilet paper? I’m totally ditching Facebook.
Still here. Still laughing… even when it’s not so funny anymore.
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Seriously, you’ve had a year to figure it out. WTH?
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Call me crazy, but I still think that’s a good thing.
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Yes, hang on to your Charmin…. toilet paper shortages could be just around the corner again.
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I think I still have 45 rolls from the first Oh no, I’ll never be able to wipe my butt again! apocalypse…. so I’m good. The rest of you? Good luck.
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It looks like home schooling is winding down now with kids going back to the classroom…. but something tells me mommy’s sippy cup might still have a bit of the grape left in it.
Don’t discount alternative toilet paper. When the next Covid wave of hoarding shoppers comes through you’re going to wish you had grandma’s old Sears catalog.
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Good grief! If you’re losing that much hair in the shower? Seek medical help not a drain blocker.
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Now isn’t that just special?
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In the current Covid climate? This is the equivalent of one upping your neighbor. To heck with building a wrap around porch and landscaping with exotic flora…. displaying 8 rolls of toilet paper means you’ve arrived.
River's world..... 