Don’t discount alternative toilet paper. When the next Covid wave of hoarding shoppers comes through you’re going to wish you had grandma’s old Sears catalog.
.
.
Good grief! If you’re losing that much hair in the shower? Seek medical help not a drain blocker.
.
.
Now isn’t that just special?
.
.
.
In the current Covid climate? This is the equivalent of one upping your neighbor. To heck with building a wrap around porch and landscaping with exotic flora…. displaying 8 rolls of toilet paper means you’ve arrived.
Since all the trim work was finished in the barn, it was time for a little decorating…. husband style.
.
.
The old washing machine was slid across the floor.
.
.
A few military helicopter pictures were hung.
.
.
And of course….
.
.
His favorite sign of all was prominently placed.
.
.
Moving back inside….
.
.
A second tier of shelves was built into every corner.
.
.
And then it was time to go shopping upstairs.
.
.
Apple press?
Check!
.
.
Butter table?
Check!
And then my husband, the man who visibly cringes every time I put a nail hole in our walls….
.
.
The man who has given me hell for each and every thing I have ever hung in our home…. decided this would be his I love me section and plans to fill it with photos and plaques while turning his barn walls into Swiss cheese.
I admit, I may have cackled at this point. The irony was simply too strong.
Disclaimer: I am not an egg fan. I cook with them but have never found them the least bit appetizing…. so my take on these products might be slightly skewed.
.
.
Mr. Sneezy?
.
.
No thank you.
.
.
While this one doesn’t gross me out per se…
.
.
They’re something about dropping a group of penguins in boiling water I just can’t get behind.
Next week a contractor will be here to build a bar in our barn.
Yes, you read that correctly, a contractor… one we will pay. Actual money. That surprised me since the husband has does most of the Barn Mahal construction himself, but this guy also built the bar at our local pub… so instead of having a spouse made amateur facsimile, we’ll have a serious bar.
.
.
With these giant extremely heavy boards the husband has kept from the original framing back in 2012.
.
.
The boards that have been moved, shifted, relocated, bumped into and cursed for 8 long years…. so all I can say is, yay.
.
.
Of course the other day we had to move them one last time.
.
.
Because my other half wanted to get an idea what the future boozer would look like.
.
.
And yes, that’s a driftwood Christmas tree on the right.
.
.
My girlfriend made it, used it one year, then gave it to me for our porch. Unfortunately we experience a cross breeze from our neighbor’s field equivalent to the Ames research center wind tunnel NASA uses to test its rockets. That tree literally flew. Which is generally not what you want Christmas decorations to do.
So it’s been inside the barn for a few years and despite my pleading that it would be a nice addition to the bar room, husband wants it gone.
Tons of useless rusty crap? He’ll find the room. One unique and quirky decorative tree? Bye bye.
After the Barn Mahal clean out… there was open space. Glorious, uncluttered open space. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I appreciated it all the same.
.
.
And when I looked around? There was a table and chairs.
.
.
Okay, we’re building a bar for that… but whatever.
The next day?
.
.
There was another table and chairs.
.
.
The day after that 3 more tables had migrated their way in. WTH? Is the husband planning on opening a cafe….
Which is exactly what I asked him during our inaugural beer.
.
.
No, it wasn’t our first time on the nectar of the gods merry go round, but it was the first time we drank inside the barn, seated at a table, with heat.
.
.
I never did get an answer to my why do you need 5 fricking tables question… but we did manage to get that stupid mobility scooter we wasted $850 on last year up and running again.
.
.
We purchased it second hand for his brother, who swore he needed it… until we gave it to him free of charge, when he decided he didn’t want it after all. 😡
We tried selling it last year but didn’t have any luck. Now the husband wants it gone so I’m going to list it again… for half what we paid, damn it…. and see what happens.
.
.
Note to self? It’s probably not a good idea to drink beer for hours and then fully charge a scooter.
.
.
The following day I figured if I couldn’t beat the too many tables paradigm, I’d join it… and hung a little something of my own for flavor.
River's world..... 