Tag Archives: humor

Baby buck.

June 26, 2020 Rivergirl 10 Comments

Our resident buck with the felt covered mini rack has flown the proverbial coop, which is a shame, because I think most of you…. some of you?…. alright, at least one of you… was enjoying the fuzzy updates on antler growth progress.

But never fear.

Our old doe, who we call pregnant because she always seems to be, has last year’s progeny with her on a daily basis now.

So we’ll start from scratch.

Baby buck antlers.

At this point, they’re just little nubs that he keeps rubbing on trees and rocks.

And can you blame him?

The poor little guy looks like a four legged Frankenstein.

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Reason #56 why you should always have your cell phone nearby.

June 26, 2020 Rivergirl 20 Comments

Hello my name is River, and I’m an addict.

A cell phone addict.

I always have my cell phone.

In my purse, in my pocket, in my hand. It’s rarely more than 10 feet away from me at any given time…. which drives the husband crazy. (This could be because he’s always doing something photo worthy, but that’s another blog entirely.)

The other day as I was sitting on the barn porch with a book and a cheaters bottled cocktail…..

A fly had the audacity to do the backstroke in my margarita.

This will not be tolerated, so after removing the thirsty Esther Williams wannabe?

My cell phone saved the day….

And the rest of my ~~I still don’t feel comfortable going to our local pub for a real one~~ margarita.

Reason #56 why you should always have your cell phone nearby – cocktail fly blocking.

You’re welcome.

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Grill shopping.

June 25, 2020 Rivergirl 50 Comments

The unthinkable happened last week.

Our beloved… and only 3 years old damn it… Weber grill died. Not wanting to spend a summer without one, we immediately went hunting for it’s replacement.

I wanted a small one without a side burner, so naturally all the husband looked at were large ones with side burners.

Ah, marriage.

Have you been grill shopping lately?

Holy crap!

I’ve paid less for cars.

Here’s the husband taking one for a test drive.

Literally driving it…. he spun it around a corner and had it up on 2 wheels.

Because Christ, at over a thousand dollars? That bastard better taxi us to the pub on its day off.

I found one I wanted.

Really wanted.

It came with wine!

But no. The husband dragged me to 5 other stores and ended up choosing one from Tractor Supply.

Large?

Oh yeah.

Much larger than we need, but it has stainless steel grates and radiant embers.

What the hell are radiant embers?

I have no idea….

But I bought some lovely filets and we’re going to find out tonight.

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Well, he thought he was done.

June 24, 2020 Rivergirl 27 Comments

The baby barn.

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Now that we’d finished the h~~oly crap did it really take that long~~ construction and paint, it was time for me to begin the beautification process. This meant doing something with the empty flower bed and border.

The ground has always been uneven there… and when I mulched, it tended to wash downhill. So I gathered up a bunch of the old weathered bricks I love and started stacking.

While the husband was watching.

Best.

Idea.

Ever.

Before I knew it?

He was on his hands and knees telling me I was doing it wrong.

And while I normally don’t react well to that statement… if it means someone will step in and do all the work? I can swallow my pride.

In no time flat it was being done properly.

As he gleefully pointed out how my eyeballed straight line wasn’t so straight.

Look at him with his little level.

Isn’t that special?

I damn near burst out laughing when he started trimming the bush with a pair of scissors.

Who is this man, and what have you done with my husband?

Be still my heart.

He actually dipped into his sacred pile of dirt that’s been behind the baby barn since we built the big barn years ago and… look!

He even spread it.

I don’t mind telling you the rare sight of my husband gardening was positively orgasmic.

While he loves to mow the lawn and chop down trees…. anything resembling planting, weeding, mulching, bordering… aka gardening?

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It was a miraculous sight.

Unfortunately it used up a lot more material than I had, so I sent out an SOS for additional bricks.

Next door neighbor to the rescue.

They have a lovely old farmhouse with a huge 3 (4?) story barn.

Which the husband was scoping out while I loaded bricks into the truck.

She had enough to let us (and by us, I mean him. All I did was take pictures and moan with pleasure) finish.

And I’m quite pleased with the results.

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Another miracle.

June 23, 2020 Rivergirl 23 Comments

Strange things are happening at Casa River this year.

First, the husband wanted to clean out the big barn ( Okay, he didn’t really. It was just a bit of organizing… but I’m counting it.)

Second, the husband helped me make a garden bed. ( I would have laid money on that never happening. )

And a week ago…

I looked out back….

And saw the husband planting a tree.

Planting! Not chopping down.

Somewhere in America, pigs are flying.

Okay, he didn’t buy them.

And only one of the three stands taller than my knee, but hey.

It’s still a miracle.

He dug them up from the wood line and I seriously doubt he got enough roots to make them viable…. which is why I told him they were going to need lots of water for the first few weeks.

Shall I give you one guess who has to drag that water to the far reaches of our property line because we only have 200 feet of hose and it won’t reach?

Yeah.

I didn’t think so.

Apparently even miracles have limits.

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Behold the majesty.

June 22, 2020 Rivergirl 40 Comments

The majesty (and the God damn miracle I’m not divorced) that is the completed baby barn remodel.

And yes even though it’s as small as a shed, there was a horse living in it before we moved in, so it’s a barn.

A baby barn.

And I have the hay holder thingies to prove it.

Please note ‘hay holder thingies’ may not be the correct equine term, but I was born in Jersey. The only thing I know about horses is who placed in the fourth at Belmont.

We started with this….

And finished with this….

Looks a little better than before, eh?

No comments on the empty garden bed, that has yet to be redone.

Before….

After…

Before….

After….

And to think it only took us a 10 mere months.

Which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We started it’s larger father in 2012…. and haven’t really finished that yet either.

rush

Yup.

That’s our motto.

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I love trees.

June 21, 2020 Rivergirl 17 Comments

So, can you see it?

Look closely now.

Not until you get near enough to look up.

There.

The neighbor’s tree adjacant tree house, hidden from sight by trees.

I love trees.

Here’s the husband for size reference, holding the enemy of trees. The chain saw birthday gift I’ve lived to regret.

I neither know, nor want to find out what he was cutting down there.

I shall just enjoy the leaf cover those glorious trees provide.

And maybe do this –

TREEHUG-monsieur-123_Design-07

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Grocery store oddity.

June 21, 2020 Rivergirl 27 Comments

Yesterday was a relatively uneventful trip…. which is almost anticlimactic at this point. It’s been such a rich source of blog fodder these past few months.

There was ample toilet paper, meat and soup so maybe the panic buying is finally subsiding.

There was however this sign –

And while I consider my vocabulary larger than your average bear’s, aseptic juice did give me pause.

To my mind the words and septic and juice are not a good mix, for obvious reasons.

Because if I’m thirsty? I don’t usually head for the tank out back that holds our bodily wastes.

But thankfully the word aseptic has a different meaning:

Aseptic processing is a processing technique wherein commercially thermally sterilized liquid products are packaged into previously sterilized containers under sterile conditions to produce shelf-stable products that do not need refrigeration.

Whew… that was close.

My Ocean Spray cranberry almost got crossed off the list.

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