Every once in a while I go shopping, see something…

And say whaaaaat?

Like this strange product I spotted at T.J.Maxx.

Ear candles.

Do they set the mood for the intimate dinner parties I hold inside my head?

Or is it a new way to light someone’s cigarette?

WTH?

Naturally relaxing?

Which part?

When the hot wax drips onto my face and burns away my eyebrows…

Or when the flame catches my hairspray on fire and I spontaneously combust?

I posted this ridiculous product on my FB page and immediately had 2 friends commented that they’d tried it.

(Note to self – re-examine criteria for picking friends)

One said she had it done at a spa. (Pay money for someone to light a candle and stick it in my ear? Not happening.)

The other said it has health benefits and it removed his ear wax. ( I researched this and there is no medical evidence to support the claim)

(It should also be noted this guy smokes a little weed)

(Okay, a lot of weed.)

This is how it supposedly works.

“… patient might hear sizzling noise” ?

Yeah.

That’s either the sound of your brain frying….. or P.T. Barnum’s ghost dancing a jig in your ear canal.

I’m all for alternate remedies that don’t line the pocket of big pharma, but sorry.

The only way a flame is getting that near my face is if someone lights my Sambuca.