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You never know what you’ll find on the shelves these days.
And some of it I wish I hadn’t.
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I don’t care how healthy it’s supposed to be, that looks disgusting.
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I tried to talk the husband into buying these for the man cave bar, but couldn’t. And they were on sale too.
Shame, that.
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I don’t know about you… but I’m thinking any juice that comes out of a goat can’t be very sanitary.
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I dealt with the toilet paper shortage.
I survived the run on flour.
But the newest Covid related tragedy might just tip me over the edge.
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Yes, boys and girls…. our fettuccini Alfredo is about to put a bigger dent in our wallets.
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God damn you Corona virus! Isn’t it enough you’ve made a trip to the hardware store seem like a big day out?
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Leave my cheese alone!
*She says as she allots more money in the budget. Who needs those pesky prescriptions anyway?*
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I had a blissfully ball free month or two but now they’re back.
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The bizarre ball wash ads Facebook thinks I need to see.
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This time it’s filled with helpful Valentines Day hints… like nut rub.
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And while I am nuts about my husband?
I won’t be purchasing anything from this tacky line of products anytime soon.
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Is nothing sacred anymore?
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You have the organic aisle.
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You have the health food aisle.
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And clever word play aside….
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No.
Take your hummus back to your alternatively fueled, natural fiber yurt and keep those nasty chickpeas out of my junk food aisle!
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We drove through a small town the other day where I saw a building named after me.
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But it was a gym and not a bar, so clearly they have no idea who I am.
In news from the grocery store, it looks like there was a run on kitty litter.
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Are we hoarding that now? Damn. I didn’t get the memo.
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Ha! You have to love clever ad men.
And finally, I bought a calendar for the barn bar.
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It’s appropriate as fork.
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But drop what thoust is doing and get thee to the nearest Wal Mart forthwith.
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Yes, that Wal Mart.
And I know, you’ll need to wear blinders or your faith in the human race as a species will spiral down the drain…. but trust me. This time it will be worth it.
Because during a begrudged trip there the other day to buy bird seed since both our local stores were out?
I found this:
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And holy guacamole Batman! There’s a little taste of paradise in every bite. Rich, sweet, and buttery…. I don’t even care if I’ll have to let my pants out at the waist next week.
And if that’s not enough to entice you to walk down Wal Mart’s hallowed halls?
Here’s an added bonus.
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Correct me if I’m wrong…
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But that has got to be the worst product ever invented. If you want to see me in a homicidal rage? Watch me chase a screaming alarm clock down the hall with a baseball bat at 4:00am.
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Do I need to wrap myself in a life size tortilla?
No. I really don’t.
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A foot hammock.
Because those pillowed neck rolls people wear on airplanes aren’t ridiculous enough.
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Why in the world would I pay for an implement that gives me the hairdo I spend all morning trying to get rid of?
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Read my lips…
I neither have an inner mermaid, nor do I need to find one.
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This.
Because the government doesn’t eat enough of our money as it is.
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He already bought the big screen tv.
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And the microwave and the coffee maker.
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He bought the full size refrigerator and is building a bar.
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So is it any surprise he made me go shopping for a mini beverage fridge to put behind that bar the other day?
No. It is not.
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Things got quickly out of hand when he was looking at these….
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At $1,200 per unit.
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But I managed to reign him in and only come home with the one on the left… which, while not a total victory? Was still something to celebrate.
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Facebook has given me a wonderful Christmas gift.
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My usual Ball Wash ads have been replaced by silly pet costumes.
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Never mind the fact we don’t currently have a dog…
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Or have ever bought one of these shamefully humiliating outfits.
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I’m just glad to see an end to the scrotum cleaning products.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
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On our way home from the antique mall the other day, we stopped at a bar.
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You’re shocked, I know.
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One Paloma in…
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The husband started examining bar chairs.
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They were tall, sturdy, rustic… and swiveled.
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Two Palomas, a cup of clam chowder ….
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A Cosmo and a Cajun fried chicken sandwich later….
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The husband decided he wanted these exact chairs for his bar.
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After tracking down the restaurant’s owner we discovered they were custom made by a company an hour and a half away….
So away we went.
To be continued.
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River's world..... 