First there were two in back of the big barn.
Then three.
Then four.
Then five little scampers!
No wonder momma chucker needs a support bra.
Monthly Archives: June 2020
Nightmare continued.
So…
Momma squirrel was not happy we’d disturbed and scattered her children.
Not. At. All.
Matter of fact, she was downright pissed. And as the husband was working on fixing that awful hole…
She was positively manic, running to and fro….
Climbing….
Perching..
Even trying to get in the house.
It was crazy.
But what she really wanted was back in that hole.
And as the husband worked, she watched.
See her up top?
The longer it went on…. the braver she got.
There were times I thought she would climb right over the husband to get in there.
She was one mad momma.
To be continued…
No. Just… no.
I think we’ve established I won’t eat it.
I’m not eating the kale chips.
I’m not drinking the kale smoothies….
Hell no.
But this?
This is a bridge too far.
Now you want me to wash my hair with it?
Vegan?
Damn…. and here I was looking forward to lathering up with a nice chunk of fat back.
Nope.
This is a kale free household and it’s going to stay that way!
Bird brains.
First let’s deal with the peckers.
Because we all know not paying attention to peckers makes them crazy.
This is a hairy woodpecker.
Why hairy?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He loves the peanut nugget feeder and is an expert at extracting them.
There.
Now you can say you’ve had a hairy pecker wink at you.
This is a downy woodpecker.
Why downy?
Your guess is as good as mine.
To be honest, he looks more like a Storm Trooper from Star Wars to me.
Then we have a pair of Mallard ducks who visit daily.
The female strolls around under the bird feeder collecting scraps….
While the drake plops down and takes a load off.
That’s one chill duck.
Big Tom turkey?
Yes, we have one of those too.
And finally, a Baltimore Oriole getting his junk food Jones satisfied with some grape jelly.
It would be nice if he didn’t poo all over the feeder…. but hey.
Who am I to judge?
Pandemic chuckle.
Since the viral apocalypse…. all the town offices in Maine are closed, as is the Department of Motor Vehicles.
While you can renew things online, buying a new or used car means a title transfer and paperwork that must be done in person.
In the meantime, we’ve been told to keep the bill of sale in our glove boxes and make up a temporary plate stating the Covid 19 crisis.
I think this guy nailed it.
When my husband says let’s go for a ride….
You never know where you’ll end up. Pre Covid 19… it was usually worth the effort.
Now?
Not so much.
The man drove a half an hour… for water.
Why?
Because his office threw out a water cooler. Need I say more?
We arrived, and I elected to sit in the car. A girl can only stand so much excitement. But I was waiting… and waiting… and finally had to check the progress.
Never having been to a water store, I’m by no means an expert. But I’m guessing the water you’re paying for…
The highly purified water?
Isn’t supposed to be on the floor.
After he talked to the machine and they came to an understanding….
All was well.
And now the big barn has clean cold water by the door.
Will the husband ever drink it? Probably not, but don’t miss the point.
The machine was free.
Gender reassignment.
So.
Our resident woodchuck….
Who we (ever so creatively) call Mr. Chuck?
Yeah.
We may need to rethink that.
Can someone please call Jane Russell?
Because momma woodchuck is in serious need of a few eighteen hour bras.
What a nightmare.
Saturday morning on Memorial Day weekend we planned to finish the baby barn remodel. But that didn’t happen, because I started hearing the scritchedy scratch every homeowner dreads.
Squirrels in da house!
I thought they were in the attic, then the walls… but finally pinned it down to the eaves. And I was certain I knew how they got in.
Please look at the upper right hand corner, behind the lights.
It’s been like that since we moved in…. 18 years ago. The previous owner’s gerry rigged spotlight installation.
Naturally, ‘Close Hole’ has been on the top of my honey do list for 17 1/2 years because birds have been nesting in there.
So the husband grumbled, and cursed, and got a ladder to deal with it.
Which is when I heard the scritchedy scratching…. somewhere else.
In this corner, under the hanging plant.
So we yanked back the bushes, grabbed a pry bar and started pulling off decking and lattice….
To discover the noise was coming from inside the vinyl siding corner post. I pounded and knocked and banged on that post like a wild woman and before long?
Baby red squirrels were tumbling out of it like a clown car. They were terrified, and scattered to the 4 winds… so we plugged up the holes and called it good.
Mission accomplished.
Well, not quite.
To be continued….
Pandemic humor.
Because you have to keep laughing.
That’s my plan.
If you have a better one, please share.
I wouldn’t doubt it at this point. Society does seem to be breaking down.
In Maine, a local reporter was interviewing random people last week, asking how they felt about the safety precautions … masks, social distancing, closures etc. When he asked a man who wasn’t wearing a mask… even though it was requested by the store and mandated by the town… the man spit on him.
That’s where we are.
So yeah… Godzilla really doesn’t seem too far fetched.
Dad jokes.
They’ll never die.
I hope so.
I certainly hope so.
Back to work.
At what I believe is the slowest pace humanly possible.
We started on Memorial Day weekend Friday by attacking the baby barn again.
Trimming the window at a glacially slow pace because as we’ve previously established…. geometry is not our friend.
After more hours than I care to admit, we moved around to the door trim.
Which the husband insisted be wider than the other trim.
Did this work out well?
Not really. But neither has anything else in this remodel and he refused to do it over, so it is what it is.
The night before, we took a trip to Lowe’s for door hardware. I argued for 6 inch hinges, because well…. I’m a woman.
You know we love our 6 inches.
But the husband was having none of it and went with 4 inch hinges, trying to prove size doesn’t matter.
As we started to assemble the doors?
He realized in some instances, size does matter…. and sent yours truly back to Lowes for 6 inches.
Hinges!
I’m talking about hinges!
I won’t even describe the nightmare that was Lowe’s on Memorial Day weekend.
By the time I got back the day was done and we got virtually nothing accomplished.
Yay us.
River's world..... 