Monthly Archives: September 2021

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The price of visiting woodchucks?

16 Comments

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I can’t say this with any certainly, but I’m guessing the demise of our cedar tree was woodchuck related.

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It stood in that corner for almost 20years with no issue and then, wham! It was dead. Upon removal we found this…

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A hole, next to the trunk. And on further examination…

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A hump of dirt with a strategically placed pile of poo. On the other side of the hump?

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Another hole, which meant woodchuck tunnel. I figured they must have destroyed the roots of the tree with their digging, but in actuality the tunnel goes under these other bushes that weren’t affected at all.

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So it’s a mystery, but either way? I’m left with an empty space and a stump.

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Because while my husband loves to cut things down with his chainsaw? He could care less about the mess he leaves behind.

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Have you ever said to hell with it and just eaten the cookie?

32 Comments

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I’ve been known to pepper my speech with the occasional four letter word… but by far, the worst one to ever cross my lips was diet.

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I was a normal sized child, a small teenager and a slim but curvy young adult. 110 lbs when I married my husband, and though I would positively kill for that figure today? Nature got in the way.

I gained a little weight at 35, but no problem. I hardly noticed it.

I gained a little weight at 40, and okay.. maybe I went up a size (or two).

But then I had a hysterectomy at 52 and gained a whole lotta weight. Being forced into menopause wrecked me and my body was no longer my own. No matter what type of diet or exercise I tried, the weight stayed on.

Next up was Covid lockdown with my husband teleworking and me cooking 24/7, so yeah. Another 10lbs.

And if that wasn’t bad enough? I blew my knee out last October. Damaged my MCL and ended up with a deep root radial meniscal tear… the worst kind. The kind that doesn’t heal. The kind that keeps you off the treadmill and plonks you on the couch. 10 more pounds and I’ve just about lost the will to live. Yoga pants are my friend and my clothes are silently mocking me from the closet.

I’m tired.

Tired of being overweight.

Tired of Covid ruining our travel retirement plans.

Tired of killer knee pain every single day.

Tired of the ugliness in the world.

Tired of the political and cultural divide in this country.

But most of all?

I’m tired of diets.

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So to Hell with it. I’m happily married and don’t need to impress anyone. My health is good despite the ##lbs I’ve put on since I hit 50.

So ya know what…?

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I’m going to eat the cookie.

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Let’s Play.

31 Comments

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Warning:

This might be a little off color for some. ( But damn, I laughed!)

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See?

Off color.

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Admit it. You pictured one too….

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And who can blame her?

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Wow, indeed.

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My male readers are cringing right now.

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I tend to agree. That was an award worthy entry.

And because you know I have to, here are my contributions:

The Wizard of Foreskin. ( Bet Dorothy didn’t see that coming )

The Best Years of Our Foreskin. ( Is there an expiration date? )

Star Wars Episode V – The Foreskin Strikes Back. ( When your light saber is on the fritz )

Snow White and the Seven Foreskins. ( Now there’s a mental image no one needs )

(With apologies to Jimmy Stewart) It’s a Wonderful Foreskin.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Foreskin. ( I’m doubting they see much sunshine )

No Country for Old Foreskin ( We are a youth based society )

All the President’s Foreskin ( I refuse to comment on that one! )

Night of the Living Foreskin ( Nice to see some zombie parts are still operational )

Rebel Without a Foreskin ( Sorry James )

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Foreskin ( Golden ticket my ass )

I’m afraid to say I could go on like that forever. It’s addicting.

But it’s your turn. Please add to the list.

😈

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This is not a trend I want to encourage.

8 Comments

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Halloween is coming and the holiday themed products are popping up everywhere. While most of them are harmless, I did run across one that made me shiver.

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Uh….. what?

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I’m not sure eating their owner’s body parts is the type of behavior we should be encouraging in our cats.

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Lord Dudley is already pissed we strap him into a harness…. I don’t need him getting any ideas.

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Pandemic humor

11 Comments

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Because I’m still trying to laugh.

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Funny, but true.

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For those of you who need pictorial directions.

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Brilliant idea. Wish they would do that.

And I know it’s too early for Christmas…. ( Yes people, it’s too damned early! Shove that elf back in the closet. Or better yet, burn it. I hate that little bastard. ) but I may need to buy this ornament.

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I love my town.

26 Comments

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You never know what’s going to turn up on my little town’s Facebook page. It could be relevant community news….

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Or not.

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Our UPS guy totally rocks. He leaves dog biscuits for all the canine residents whether they’re barking at him or not.

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See? You can’t even give that stuff away.

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If there are synchronized dancing peppers wearing sombreros? I’m totally going next week.

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Random River drivel.

9 Comments

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten sleeps in some odd positions.

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I look, and think he must be uncomfortable… but the wee beast sleeps like that 19 hours a day so I must be mistaken.

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Have you ever tried a recipe and had your hopes for decadent dessert deliciousness dashed?

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That’s what happened when I found a recipe for caramel banana upside down cake. I painstakingly followed the directions… and while it looked and smelled wonderful?

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It was a banana topped brick. I swear I could have used it as a doorstop… or to bash in someone’s head. The husband and I took one bite a piece and heaved it in the trash.

Tres disappointing.

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But I passed this woodpile later in the day…

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And had to smile.

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Be sure to ask for an extra stabby grabby the next time you go out to eat…. and think of me.

😉

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