Category Archives: Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

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Because I prefer news that makes me laugh.

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This would be my husband’s dream come true… and might very well happen to whoever buys our house when I’m a widow.

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Is this a thing? Damn. I’ve been missing out on extra income for decades.

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This photo makes me realize my beloved Boston Red Sox are slackers who’ve just been phoning it in.

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Joseph Yoon can bite me.

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Discovering a hidden gem.

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I love randomly exploring an area we’ve visited often and stumbling on a new place. Last week it was the Boathouse Hotel and Marina in Kennebunkport.

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The perfect location for a leisurely spring afternoon lunch.

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And in true River style I worked my way down the cocktail menu.

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The Watermelon Sugar to start….

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A Walk of Shame with appetizers. Crab cakes for me, lemongrass ginger mussels for the husband.

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White Lemonade Sangria with a chicken Caesar salad for me, sherry baked haddock for my other half. It was a wonderful meal in a pleasant spot made even better by the friendly couple we met at the bar.

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They were visiting from Wisconsin for a college graduation so we happily gave them some local destination suggestions. Turns out they run a pub of their own in Wisconsin with the same town name as one in Maine.

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The Presque Isle Pub. If you’re ever in the area, stop by and tell them the boozy couple from Maine say hello.

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So close!

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Another missed opportunity and this time it was entirely my fault. When walking his Lordship I usually keep a loose finger grip on the leash but the other day I had it looped around my wrist and wouldn’t you know it… that was the exact moment our resident red squirrel b*tch darted right out in front of Lord Dudley Mountcatten.

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He ran to give chase but was jerked back by the leash I couldn’t drop just as he reached for her.

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It was a close call… but damn it, she escaped.

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Up the cedar tree she went… and sat there for a good 20 minutes teasing my boy.

And me for that matter.

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He could have had her.

It was so close….

😫

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Once more unto the bleach…

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I was back at the outdoor bleaching again this weekend, following trails of green algae with my spray bottle and pressure washing attachment.

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Spraying in the corner of the deck left me absolutely soaked and I wouldn’t be surprised if my hair has blonde streaks now. But everything looks fresh and clean again… so mission accomplished.

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While I was at it I cleaned the furniture as well.

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We used to store this set in the barn during the winter but since the man cave conversion it’s been riding out the snow in situ and was in dire need of a cleanse.

P.S. no worms were harmed or relocated during the making of this post.

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Scenic Cape Porpoise

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When your husband is newly retired and it’s a beautiful spring day? You take a drive along the Maine coast just because you can.

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Cape Porpoise is a small village in the town of Kennebunkport on the southern coast.

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It’s quintessentially Maine and therefore ruggedly beautiful.

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No words necessary, just enjoy the ride.

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Is it any wonder we live in this state?

❤️

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Bonk… part 4.

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You know the drill. The following excerpts are from a Mary Roach book about sex. You have been warned…

While Viagra is a relatively new treatment, cures for male impotence have been around for a long time. Two testicles not getting the job done? No problem, just get yourself a third.

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Yes, they really did have an add a testicle procedure, though it was not without its issues.

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Ponder that for a moment.

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Feel free to whip up that cocktail at your next dinner party. Gin, orange juice, grenadine and absinthe. Not sure what that recipe has to do with the family jewels, but I’m sure it will be a hit all the same.

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If that’s not trivia to impress your friends, I don’t know what is.

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Sodomization does seem a trifle extreme for pilfering a tomato, but clearly the Romans took their gardens more seriously than I do.

( If you want a good giggle? Do a Google image search on Priapus. That is one massive cucumber. 😳 )

I’m in!

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Let me just throw this out there… I love dinosaurs!

Always have, always will. While other little girls were playing with baby dolls and decorating Barbie’s stupid dream house, I was waging a life and death battle with my T Rex and Brontosaur. When other children wanted to go to Madison Square Garden to see the circus, I begged my parents to take me to the Museum of Natural History to see the Stegosaurus skeleton. In a perfect world I would have grown up to be a fossil hunter, endlessly scouring

the Black Hills for remnants of the Cretaceous. The best I can do now? Live vicariously through documentaries my husband thinks are dry as toast. Until this one –

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Tomorrow on Apple TV, the dinosaur documentary to end all dinosaur documentaries will begin. Hosted by David Attenborough…. All Hail Sir David! …it’s the dino version of Planet Earth and I can’t wait.

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*note to self – buy copious amounts of popcorn and butter*

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Now that’s tv worth watching!

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Disappointing dinner

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It was a bright and sunny evening at Casa River and after a full day of yard work we decided to drive along the coast of Harpswell and have dinner on the water.

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The closer we got, the thicker the fog. This restaurant is crazy crowded when the summer tourists descend so we’d hoped to beat the swarm and grab an outdoor table to enjoy the view.

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But the view was pea soup fog so we hit the bar instead. A few blueberry lemonades later..

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We ate a very disappointing meal. My $30 fried scallops were tasty but not plentiful and though I ordered a baked potato I received french fries because they had run out. And if that’s not bad enough, it was served in a paper lined wire basket more reminiscent of a lobster shack than fine dining. The husband’s scallop and lobster pasta had 3 scallops and 3 minuscule pieces of lobster for $40. While we never mind paying good money for a good meal, this longtime favorite place might be in danger of being dropped from our list.

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Let’s play.

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Because deep down you want to.

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First, a few obvious ones –

You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Leave the gun, take the cannoli.

You had me at hello.

Here’s looking at you kid.

Jaws, The Godfather, Jerry Maguire and Casablanca respectively.

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Everyone knows those, but can you guess these?

Put some Windex on it.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Are you not entertained?

Take a guess and then comment one of your own.

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