Tag Archives: humor

Diana’s Baths Part 5… rocks, foliage and zombie toes.

 

Okay… I lied. When we discovered the cairn garden I thought we were at the top, but it turns out we weren’t.

 

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Yes ladies and gentlemen….

 

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There will be more rocks.

 

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And trees.

 

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And trees that hug rocks.

 

 

 

But I promise you…

 

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This time we had found the top.

 

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But standing there, it really does make you wonder where all the water comes from.

 

 

 

The pools are shallow and yet the water keeps flowing… and flowing… and flowing.

Flowing so much in fact..

 

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You knew that was coming, right?

Add another christened outhouse to the list.

Done with the Baths, we back headed down.

 

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Through some lovely paths…

 

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Where sometimes you just have to look up.

 

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And soak in the splendor of autumn.

Naturally, when you look up…. you’re apt to trip over something you would have seen if you were looking down.

Like I did.

 

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Please tell me I’m not the only one who sees a half buried zombie toe here.

 

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And here.

Overgrown toenails et al.

It’s enough to make a girl shiver…

And crave a fortifying alcoholic beverage.

 

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Which I found here.

 

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At the Black Cap Grille, one of our favorite spots in North Conway.

 

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Happily fortified with cocktails and a yummy grilled Caesar salad (If you’ve never eaten it this way? Start now)

And some succulent crab cakes…

 

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We called it a day.

 

 

 

Diana’s Baths Part 4…. in which the husband builds a cairn.

 

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At the top of Diana’s Baths we found a cairn garden.

 

 

Cairns…

 

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Everywhere you looked.

 

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Small cairns, big cairns.

 

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Precariously balanced cairns…

 

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Even one slightly Zen cairn…

 

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Although technically not, as it’s singular.

 

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But I liked it all the same.

Cairn:

Because it’s my job.

 

Bringing weird and not so wonderful products to my reader’s attention.

It’s what I do.

 

 

And I know you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to have one of these for your very own, so…

 

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Yes.

It’s a onesie that’s also a seat.

How can you go wrong?

No more standing for endless hours at your kid’s soccer game. No more shuffling on sore feet while waiting on line at the DMV.

There’s a stupid product made just for you.

And a stupid video to accompany it.

 

 

 

Admit it…

You want one.

I bet you didn’t know….

 

A woodpecker pecks wood 12,000 times a day.

 

 

But I did, because…

 

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Did you know…

Welsh mercenary bowmen in the medieval period only wore one shoe at a time?

 

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Well, you have to admit, a pair will definitely last longer that way.

 

Did you know…

The liquid inside a young coconut can be used as a substitute for blood plasma in an emergency?

 

 

It’s official.

I shall never bleed out…

 

Did you know…

During his lifetime, Herman Melville’s classic novel of the sea Moby Dick only sold 50 copies?

That’s a frighteningly small number of Dicks….

 

 

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Did you know…

Alfred Hitchcock did not have a belly button?

 

 

It’s true, but you have to admire his work out routine.

 

Did you know…

Apollo 11 only had 12 seconds of fuel left when it landed?

 

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That’s some high tech NASA equipment right there.

 

Did you know…

Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his hat to keep his head cool and changed it every two innings?

Why not…

Anything beats eating it.

 

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Diana’s Baths Part 3

 

After a few hours of happily poking around, we were nearing the top.

 

 

 

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A few more rocks.

 

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A little more tip toeing through the tree roots…

 

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And there we were.

 

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The top.

 

 

Quiet pools…

 

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The husband, back on the wrong side…

 

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And some big rocks.

 

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Did that rock just wink at me?

 

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Cheeky things, those rocks…

 

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We enjoyed the view and the feeling of accomplishment.

And then…

 

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We saw something a little farther up…

 

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That made us realize we weren’t quite finished with Diana’s Baths yet.

Cairns!

 

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Sorry.. no.

Not that kind.

 

 

 

Diana’s Baths Part 2.

 

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What?

 

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You thought we were done with the rocks?

 

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Uh, no.

 

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There were stacked rocks…

Rocks with roots…

 

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Rocks with husbands…

 

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Videos of rocks…

 

 

 

And rocks with bloggers taking selfies.

 

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Baby got rocks!

 

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There were big rocks.

 

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Rocks with water.

 

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And rocks with husbands who had to climb on the opposite side from their wives because they thought it was a better path….

 

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Then couldn’t figure out how to get back across…

 

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And had to turn around and go back the way the wife did.

 

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I love those kinds of rocks.

 

 

And no matter how high we climbed?

 

 

 

There were always more rocks!

Cathedral Ledge Part 2.

 

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Mountain views.

 

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Valley views.

 

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Vibrant autumn color.

 

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And love locks… Cathedral ledge has it all.

 

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Even lovers with a sense of humor.

 

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It was glorious… and that was only the front half.

 

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Walking along the sides, we made friends.

 

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Took 100 more pictures….

 

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And simply marveled at the beauty of nature.

 

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Even the husband was quiet.

 

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Honestly, there’s only so many times you can say wow.

 

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It really was a special spot.

 

 

This way?

 

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Beautiful.

 

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That way?

Fabulous.

 

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Gaze in wonder.

Take picture.

Repeat.

 

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There were rocks!

 

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And trees!

 

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And they made me realize how blessed I am to live in a truly wonderful part of the world.

 

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We made one final lap along the fence line…

 

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And strolled a few final steps across those marvelous rocks…

 

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I tried again…. unsuccessfully… to get a double selfie where the husband actually looks at the camera.

 

 

But no matter.

 

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We took one last look and bid goodbye to a place I’d revisit in a heartbeat next time we’re in the area.

 

 

Because I’m always looking out for my male friends.

 

So a certain blogger (who shall remain nameless unless he/she actually wants to take credit for this post) sent me a link to a product that I found the day after Thanksgiving.

Having just enjoyed copious amounts of turkey, I admit it made me think twice about ever eating one again.  It seems we never really know what those birds are up to pre gluttonous feast.

This post will pass along further information for what I think is probably the best Christmas stocking stuffer ever.

For your husband, your brother, your uncle, your cousin…. Hell, for every man in your life.

Give them to your mailman and the guy who changes your oil.

You can thank me later.

Snowballs

If you clicked the link, you’ll realize I wasn’t talking about those delightfully revolting pink Hostess treats that look like Tribbles.

It’s another thing entirely.

 

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No, I’m not kidding…

And some of the descriptions are funnier than the product itself.

“Summer is a decidedly, uh, swampy time for many men and the summer of 2019 has been especially hot and humid throughout most of the northern hemisphere. Dress loose and in light fabrics all you want, eventually the heat hits you in the crotch.

It’s a uniquely male problem and one underwear company has the solution to that and more. Snowballs basically wants to ice your ‘nads back into the comfort—and fertility—zone.

Being able to walk around with your ‘nads air-conditioned without risking indecent exposure is pretty appealing. And Snowballs claims their product can do more than just frost the funk away from your nether regions.”

 

Swampy?

 

 

 

Yeah, no one wants that.

 

“From setting sprays to chafing balm, ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to handling the heatwave.

But now men have found something to help them out on scorching hot days — freezable pants.

Over on Amazon, a brand called Snowballs Underwear is selling “scientifically-backed cooling underwear”.

The underwear comes with ice packs — dubbed “SnowWedges” — that men are able to put in the freezer before popping into a pouch that sits over the groin.”

 

And before you decide the whole thing is just a joke, here’s a video to prove icing your  balls, sack, nuts, jewels, sweetbreads, Christ…what term won’t get me kicked off WordPress?   parts has actual medical benefits.

 

 

 

 

 

There.

Now don’t you feel better knowing these exist?

 

 

 

 

 

Just remember…

You saw it here first.

 

 

White Mountains trip, Day 4. Mother Walker Falls

 

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Never let it be said I’m not up for a good waterfall.

Sadly, this Mother wasn’t.

 

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It sounded promising, so we headed down.

 

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And while it was a pretty spot, I didn’t see a whole lot falling.

 

 

 

Oh, there were stacked rocks.

 

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And precariously balanced rocks…

 

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But even when we followed the sound of running water, there wasn’t much falling.

 

 

I’m sure it’s much more impressive in the spring.

 

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But we still enjoyed the walk, the day, and…

 

 

The rocks.

 

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A scenic drive…

 

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Some foliage…

 

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Some mountains…

 

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And a lovely old bed and breakfast later….

 

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We followed someone’s advice and stopped for a meal at the Sudbury Inn in Bethel.

 

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Tucked away out back, down some dark steps… we found what I can only describe as the local dive bar.

 

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Local workmen at the bar (shooting us disgusted looks) and slumming prep school students from Gould Academy made up the clientele. Uncomfortable chairs, spotty silverware and a disinterested (borderline surly) bartender/waiter… who made us wait longer than he had to… made us question why we were there.

 

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But despite the business card decorated ceiling and questionable decor…

 

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There was surprisingly good food and at least 2 dozen beers on tap.

Mr. Personality even accommodated the husband’s preference for grilled chicken with his chicken parm.

 

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Which just goes to show you can’t judge a bar if you’re from out of town…. or something like that.

Our 4th day ended at our resort with us walking past the strange carved bear out front.

 

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If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was praying for new carpet.

 

 

Step Falls Part 2… forest unmentionables.

 

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We kept climbing higher,  getting closer to the falls.

 

 

But did you see it? In the bottom right hand corner…

I didn’t when I was filming, but then I took a picture.

 

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Yeah.

 

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While I usually pick up litter we find along the way while hiking? This I left alone.

I don’t even want to know….

 

 

Up a thoughtfully constructed rock staircase.

 

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Deeper into the woods.

 

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I kept thinking, geesh. Are we ever going to reach the top?

 

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One required sun drenched selfie later…

 

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Past the well marked trail tree…

 

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We finally saw the top.

 

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The view was going to be killer… I knew it.

Anxiously preparing for the money shot, I found this –

 

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Huh…?

 

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You mean I hauled my  (considerable)  butt up this  hill/ gorge/ mini mountain for bupkus?

WTF!

 

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They even had the flags running across the falls themselves.

 

 

Damned right it is! Why would you open a waterfall up to the public, create a trail, install a bench, mark that trail very carefully so people could find the top….and then not let them access the top? It’s criminal, I tell you.

Criminal.

And it made me wonder if the discarded unmentionables I saw down below were in way of protest.

I felt the same outrage! But not quite enough outrage to leave my own behind. There are limits… even for me.

Making our way back down to the parking lot I was so ticked off I didn’t take any pictures, until I saw this…

 

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And thought…