Tag Archives: blogging

They’re not worthy.

 

Not worthy of a blog of their own, but random interesting stuff all the same.

(And by interesting, you know I mean not at all interesting… just random information you didn’t want nor need but I feel compelled to share anyway)

 

 

I read a lot…. and before now have never thought of myself as any of these.

But from now on?

I’m an ink drinker all the way.

 

 

Yes, I bought myself a frying pan that’s reinforced by diamonds.

Because my fried chicken deserves the very best.

 

 

My rose is blooming like a lolly pop.

 

 

Is this earth shattering news you can use?

No.

But nothing I say ever is.

 

 

This claims to be the perfect Cosmopolitan recipe.

I shall research it extensively and report back.

 

 

Sadly, we had to shop for 2 headstones for recently passed members of my husband’s family.

After we picked the size of the stone, and the color of the granite….this was what we were given. Sheets of paper with literally thousands of designs that were printed so small, even reading glasses and a magnifying glass barely helped us make them out.

I believe the husband chose a lighthouse for one…. but it could as easily have been a beer keg.

Time will tell.

 

 

Danger Will Robinson!

If you’ve never experienced a browntail moth rash you haven’t lived a full life. Imagine mixing poison ivy with fire ants and chicken pox…. and you might come close.

These little bastards have moved into Maine and are stripping our trees bare. And if you happen to brush up against one of them? Hang on, because you’ll attempt to rip the skin off your bones within 12 hours. Nothing stops the itch except a spray that comes in a one ounce bottle sold by one hospital in the state for $65 per. Insurance won’t cover it and you need a doctor’s prescription to purchase it.

I get the rash at least 3 times a year.

Good times.

And finally, if you’ve been wondering what people are doing to keep busy during the pandemic… or how they’re spending their stimulus money?

Wonder no longer.

 

Apparently, I’m a chain.

 

I’m loathe to admit it, but the other day?

I Googled the name of my blog to see what would pop up.

Ironically, my blog didn’t… but I discovered something just as interesting.

 

 

I’m a chain of stores in Saudi Arabia.

 

 

Who knew?

 

 

So if you find yourself with extra time on your hands the next time you’re in Riyadh…

 

 

Stop by and say hello.

 

And let me know if it’s worth suing over name rights.

P. S. …. Don’t forget to bring me back a chicken print burka.

Spam… glorious spam!

 

We all get it, but lately?

Mine has taken a turn for the worse.

 

after-years-i-finally-received-spam-at-my-professional-email-122648

 

Like this one:

2 days ago

Spam

Bird brains.

This post makes me remember a bad joke: Save your breath… you’ll need it to blow up your date.. we are making a flick about this. book for free here! -> https://surprise-me-playlists.herokuapp.com/

 

A movie about blow up dates?

Makes me glad all the theaters are closed.

 

a day ago

Spam

Gender reassignment.

This post makes me remember a bad joke: What do you give the blonde that has everything? penicillin.. we are making a tv series about this. book for free here! -> https://surprise-me-playlists.herokuapp.com/

 

Ditto the tv series about the slutty blonde.

Aren’t there enough of those already?

 

13 hours ago·

essayhelplab.com

Spam

Important update..

I am final, I am sorry, there is an offer to go the other way.

 

No apologies necessary.

Take the offer.

 

Haroldsealf

a day ago

Spam

Behold the majesty.

Adult sex dating: http://fhzuk.andenfilm.xyz/e63
Adult african american dating online: http://eyerdwg.deluxxeuniverse.com/2e31e4
Sex dating site, sex on a first date, sex immediately: http://paz.thegreasealliance.com/70cca484

Honestly, where does this stuff come from? And why does a post about the baby barn attract it?  A dark web group that gets off on crooked walls and uneven doors sounds extremely pathetic.

 

Zuluandzephyr

2 days ago

Spam

Pandemic humor.

Statutory rape is the unlawful sexual penetration of a victim by the defendant or the defendant by the victim when:
The X Story Player offers one of the most realistic, fully immersive adult virtual sex games on the market.
So, you’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.

Yes, I can see how a tuxedo would make all the difference.

 

9cb507ef7f563ab5b4c3a3191846674c

 

 

Jacketqco

a day ago·

chinesewomenformarriage.tumblr.com

 Spam

Say it isn’t so Apple….

How a long way a Gemini chick attained a Gemini females, do you have?

Need to know the thin on why is your partner’s beat?

Wanting my tongue in oral cavity horoscope.

 

I don’t even know how to respond to this one.

But now I’m wondering if there’s a scope named after whores.

Holy crap!

 

Yes.

I’m literally going to talk about crap…. and you’re going to wonder why you ever started following me in the first place.

 

 

Piles of crap have suddenly begun showing up on our front lawn.

 

 

Same spot, by the kitchen door, every morning, totaling 4 piles.

 

 

Sorry, I can’t.

Weird as it sounds, we’ve lived here for 18 years and have never had a dog leave a deposit. Ever!

It’s too big for woodchuck or fox. And it’s not skunk. They leave a trail of small black poo nuggets on the driveway.

We have started seeing raccoons late at night, and they do make the rounds.

 

 

But I’m thinking coyotes might be setting us up as a rural rest stop.

 

 

So if any of my readers are expert scat identifiers?

Now would be the time to weigh in.

*Poop Update –  since writing this the other day.

 

IMG_4812

 

The count is up to 5 piles, and since it rained…. closer examination of contents was possible.

(Still with me? You really are loyal readers!)

 

IMG_4813

 

Seeds.

I think we can safely rule out coyote now.

Because some things are strange enough for a second look.

 

This popped up in my Facebook memories today and since I wasn’t blogging here 5 years ago?

I have to share.

 

 

As seen in Goodwill, a rubber chicken.

 

 

It was a dog toy, but a more wrong rubber chicken you’re not apt to find.

I suppose you could say they were singing…. but I’m afraid my mind went elsewhere.

And for a further chuckle?

Read the detailed description that came with them.

I dare you not to laugh.

“This rubber chicken is not any ordinary chicken, when you squeeze him he makes a loud screaming sound, it can help you relaxing your pressure and bringing you good mood. This squeaky rubber chicken will make a comical addition to your dog’s toy chest! Screaming sound when you squeeze it “Squeeze me when you are happy. I will make you and your friend laugh” “Squeeze me when you are not happy. I will help you relax” “My shrilling scream will let you have unexpected fun and entertainment, relax and release stress.” Once you have this funny scream chicken you can lose your press and became more smooth.”

 

So go on….. squeeze your chicken.

Hear him scream.

 

Nominations snominations.

 

My slightly twisted, but delightfully so, friend  Masercot  has just nominated me for this:

 

award

 

For which I will be  sticking pins in a doll of his likeness and waiting for parts of him to drop off  eternally grateful.

You know the drill, I have to answer questions.

Thankfully… because he’s twisted, this won’t be the hardship it normally is.

Let’s begin.

If you could choose any historical figure to hold your hair out of the toilet while you drunkenly vomit at a party, who would it be and why?

I’m going to have to go with Lord Byron. The man drank his liquor out of a cup made from a human skull. You have to admire that kind of commitment.

If you HAD to own a pet and it couldn’t be a dog or a cat, to what country would you flee  to escape such a fascist regime. Remember that “Canada” is not an acceptable answer.

Australia…. where my dream pet wombats roam free.

What is your favorite, currently active, credit card number?

Nice try. But you know my only form of currency is tequila. If I can’t buy it with a perfectly mixed margarita? I don’t need it.

You’ve been told you will be allowed to join Trump’s Space Force if you sleep with a Marx Brother and Zeppo is not available. Which do you sleep with and why?

Can’t we just jettison Trump into space and call it good?

If you had to recommend an illegal drug to the youth of America, which drug would it be and how?

Blogging. It’s horribly addicting…. but so satisfying.

Do you think pound cake is overrated?

Only if it weighs 14 ounces.

Do you like Aquaman’s new look or do you prefer the blonde hair and tights?

I actually sat through the entire new Aquaman movie. Sober. Need I say more?

 

In keeping with tradition (and not because I want to force my friends to share the misery that are these never ending awards)  I shall post the rules.

Display the award logo
Thank the blogger who nominated you and post a link to their blog
Answer the questions of the one who nominated you
Nominate some bloggers
Ask them seven questions

 

I will now gleefully nominate:

James  because I had to sit through an entire months worth of Star Wars posts and he owes me.

liveandletthai  since he’s always whining not enough people read his blog and just discovered he can make alcohol from dried hibiscus blossoms. You never know when that will come in handy.

clevergirlwrites  she’s clever, and a girl. We need to stick together.

Boo  because we’ve been blog friends a long time and I like to harass her long distance.

swingedcat  he makes me laugh and posts bison photos. Friends like that are harder to find than you think.

 

My questions:

Would any of you be willing to let a slightly pissed off red squirrel and her children rent a room? The sooner the better, I’m getting hateful looks.

If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner/significant other/blow up girlfriend what would it be, and why?

Can you talk me into eating kale in 50 words or less? I know you can’t, but it will be fun to see you try.

You win an all expense paid trip for two to Antarctica, do you bring a Kardashian or Caitlyn Jenner?

By some strange twist of fate, you’re elected President of the United States in 2020. What’s your first executive order?

And finally, if you’ve made it this far…. why do bloggers feel compelled to keep this award thing going when none of us really like them?

Wait…. what!

You mean I didn’t have to?

Sure, now you tell me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s in a name?

 

Clearly, everything.

As evidenced by this product a FB friend bought for her family.

 

 

Well, you have to admit…. it’s catchy.

And I suppose techies will enjoy having a set of controls to play with while on the throne.

 

 

But what tickled me the most (while performing the due diligence blog research my readers have come to expect but neither care about nor want) was the ad campaign.

Save money on toilet paper!

Very timely.

Because sometimes products are just…. wrong.

 

Have you ever seen something for sale and thought, WTH?

I do this quite often and feel it’s my duty to share.

The first strange item is called Q-flex.

 

 

 

And while I agree no one wants knots in their back, you have to admit this just looks…. wrong.

It seems to be 1/3 shepherd’s staff, 1/3 haying scythe, and 1/3 hook from your great grandfather’s old vaudeville act. Anyway you look at?

Wrong.

Next up? A tongue cleaner.

 

 

 

Holy crap! If your is turning brown and you can scrape that much disgusting residue from it’s surface?

Bad breath might not be the only malady you’re suffering.

A posture remedy is next in line.

 

 

Admit it, posture realignment wasn’t the first thing you thought of when you saw this was it?

So wrong.

This next item simply boggles my mind.

 

The magic of a corner piece? What kind of freak would buy this!

Everyone knows all the fudgy goodness is found in the middle.

Epically wrong.

And finally,  there’s a product that you’ve no doubt seen before.

 

 

This requires no explanation, and while I can’t personally attest to its wrongness…. I did find one of it’s reviews more than a little amusing.

 

 

Clearly this poor fellow had an issue.

Because when Taco Bell doesn’t end in the appropriate volcanic eruption? You know you need help.

 

 

 

Have Squatty, Will Travel.

Go west young man, and poop in peace.