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While I’m all for pampering and spoiling our pets..
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No.
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.
Just, no.
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Bowzer’s manicure should not look better than mine… and look, even the dog hates it.
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I want to know who looked at their cat’s ass one afternoon and thought, ” Hey, that will make a great coloring book”.
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Mr. Whiskers is not amused.
And lastly, proof positive more isn’t always good… it’s just more.
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Hell, I think I’m slipping into diabetic coma just looking at that.
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That’s what I need to do.
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.
Because my feeders empty as soon as I fill them.
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Everyone’s trying to lay on a little extra fat for winter.
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Except me. I’m not trying… but it’s there damn it.
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Critters eat me out of house and home this time of year.
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But that’s okay.
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I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Epic fails in the kitchen. They usually happen when you’re having your MIL or the boss over for dinner.
So when I saw these online the other day? I had to share…
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Not even close.
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Funny, I’ve made this dish as well… but had no idea it was Italian.
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Recipes.
Sometimes they just like to screw with you.
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Ninja throwing apples!
I like.
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Oh, hell no!
That mouth. I just can’t…
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I’m all for making pets out of rocks, they’re so obedient. But this looks more like a creepy charcoal briquette.
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It’s official.
I will never eat sausage again.
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Today the turkeys beat the deer to the buffet.
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Come on mom, I’m hungry.
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Bambi wanted in.
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.
But was decidedly out numbered.
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Look at mommas face.
She is not pleased.
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.
But she gives in and tries to approach.
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Nope.
Even when Bambi runs at them they just scatter and regroup.
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Still hungry…
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.
Bambi finds an alternative source.
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Since I’m still trying to plow through my massive stack of magazines, I have to share.
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Do we really need shoes that breathe? I don’t… but maybe that’s just me.
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I’m all for alternative leather products… eucalyptus? Cool. But if they come up with kale filled seats? I’m boycotting on sheer principle.
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.
According to this map temperatures are rising almost everywhere but it looks like me and my hot flashes are in the right place. Hang in there Maine! River melts into a puddle in anything above 75 degrees.
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If you’ve never had canned brown bread you haven’t lived a full life. This is a Maine staple, made in Portland, Maine… so why this article calls it Boston brown is a mystery. Moist and filled with molasses?
Try it. Your mouth will thank me.
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.
Dexter is coming back!
I don’t have Showtime anymore but might have to resubscribe in order to revisit my favorite serial killer.
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.
Ghost pepper strawberry frosting?
No.
Just no.
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.
Success was hard won, but after another full of month of fruitless used car shopping, we finally found one for our niece.
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.
A 2012 Subaru Impreza hatchback which cost a lot more money than I planned on spending for a 19 year old’s first car…. but welcome to pandemic era shopping.
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The economy is iffy and people aren’t buying new, which means they aren’t trading old, which means a complete lack of decent inventory on the lots. The pickings are extremely slim in Maine and unless you’re willing to spend $11,000 plus (I wasn’t) or buy something with 225,000 miles (also a no) good frickin’ luck.
Thankfully the dealership where she fell in love with this one allowed us to drive it an hour away to have our trusty mechanics/old friends give it a thorough once over.
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.
They found a few minor things it needed, while this fellow looked on…
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Hey, our friends run a high class garage…. and can apparently fix anything. Including the tin man.
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Okay, as evidenced by their Hooter calendar…. maybe not that high class.
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But they’re experienced and kind enough to examine the car for free, so I’ll excuse a few scantily clad bimbos.
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The car won their seal of approval… after telling us it needed new tires… and our niece let out an audible sigh of relief.
Time to celebrate.
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.
At the closest restaurant to the dealership while they got the paperwork together.
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Cheers to a young girl’s first car!
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.
And a hearty home style lunch. Corn and bacon chowder with a hot turkey sandwich for me. That damn thing was so big I ate off it for 3 days.
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Signing her own paperwork. With a man who needs serious instruction on mask protocol.
Big smiles and key in hand.
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A final hug for the best aunt and uncle on earth.
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A thumbs up behind the wheel…. and off she went back to college.
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One extremely happy camper.
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Because it’s been a long week and I need a chuckle.
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I’d like to tell you there’s something wonderfully quirky up there like a hedgehog cheese grater…
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.
Or sandwich bags that lessen the chances of your kid getting beaten up for their PB&J….
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But alas, when I climbed up on a chair and checked?
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All I saw was this:
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A lone fly swatter the husband must have thrown up there when I wasn’t looking.
Handy if Mike Pence drops by, but otherwise not very amusing.
So regale me with your finds…
What’s collecting dust in your kitchen?
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Still with momma…
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.
But no more spots!
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He/she is a little smaller than the other fawns.
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.
And I’m not sure if that has something to do with the fact that he/she is blue eyed.
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.
But they chow down everyday, twice a day.
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.
And as long as the deep snow doesn’t roll in too soon, all should be well.
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.
I found a product I might just have to buy.
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.
While I’m not a huge fan of pigs in a blanket, I can easily see pig shaped brownies and pig shaped cornbread.
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.
Pig shaped ice for my cocktails?
Yes please!
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Admit it…
You want one too.
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It never fails to amaze me how many ridiculous products I can find in the grocery store.
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.
Multi colored popcorn farts? No thank you. Wait… they’re covered in white chocolate?
On second thought. How bad can a rainbow unicorn toot be?
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This abominable bag of quinoa was on the check out aisle with all the other reasonable unhealthy snacks. Don’t they know how good that radioactive orange Cheetoh dust is? Geesh, no one in their right mind craves quinoa.
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Tolerant organic. What exactly does that mean? Is that little fellow going to bludgeon me with his noodle if I don’t compliment his Birkenstocks?
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I’m sorry, but when I walk down the baking aisle… filled with cakes and brownies and numerous other drool worthy desserts? Protein balls are not high on my list.
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Finally, I need two things explained.
1. What happened to the separation of church and grocery store?
And
2. If you’re going to quote scripture about baking bread, don’t use it to sell a box of cereal. That’s just false advertising.
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River's world..... 