Remember how I posted about a red pepper that wanted a kiss a while back?
Well, the creepy food phenomenon continues.
My potatoes are smiling.
And my blueberry pancakes are giving me the eye.
I’m beginning to dread going in the kitchen.
Tag Archives: humor
I’m ready for my close up…..
Okay, I admit it.
The little rat bastards fellows are cute.
Sitting on the railing….
With vibrant day lilies blooming in the background…..
Voguing for the camera like some fur covered super model.
Though I highly doubt Naomi Campbell ever pooped on her runway.
Cute, yes…
But you’re still a giant pain in my ass!
Products no one needs.
I know we’ve all become lazy housebound sods who can’t be bothered to put on pants during the pandemic, but this?
This is a bridge too far.
The day I’m too lazy to stir my own pan you have permission to slit my throat, fill it with kale and put me out of my misery.
And while I’m all for cocktails?
I have absolutely no intention of sharing my margaritas with llamas.
Nope.
Not happening.
Oh, yeah.
Kitty Hitler looks positively thrilled.
Let’s ponder this for a moment.
Someone thought about, invented, pitched, found investment capital and marketed….. a hammock for fish.
Is this a great country or what!
And finally…. when your dog no longer needs his collar of shame?
Viola!
You can re-purpose it in the kitchen.
You’re welcome.
Critter central.
Woodchucks are still being tormented by starlings.
And are sometimes drastically outnumbered.
Deer and fox happily dine together.
Squirrel keeps an eye on deer.
But calls in back up.
Until another fox shows up.
Who is so chill he lays down and eats like a Roman.
How chill?
He even smiles for the camera.
Deer, fox and squirrels depart, woodchucks return.
It’s the circle of life.
Otherwise known as an average afternoon in our backyard.
*note – these pictures were taken before the drought turned our lawn a lovely shade of brown*
It started out innocently enough…..
This week’s harvest from our neighbor’s CSA yielded scallions, cabbage, beets, Swiss chard, basil, parsley, garlic scapes, a tomato, a zucchini and raspberries.
Needless to say the raspberries were demolished with ice cream the first night and since we craved more, we headed across the road to their farm stand.
I can’t say I’ve ever seen a tractor trailer box renovated into a turquoise and gold farm stand…
But hey, it works.
Fairy tale eggplant?
There are so many off color jokes I could make right now my brain is threatening to explode.
And in case you’re wondering how the veggies don’t bake in the heat?
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Just as we were about to leave, our neighbor’s daughters showed us all of her father’s left over apple trees. He’d planted as many as he could for his new orchard and didn’t want the rest.
You know where this is going…. right?
Free trees?
Yeah.
It’s been 100 degrees in the shade, the ground is solid concrete because we haven’t had any rain for weeks… and my husband wants to plant more trees.
Stay tuned.
Everyone wants a seat at the table.
This little female Baltimore Oriole for example.
She sat there for 15 minutes or so…..
Waiting in vane for dinner to be served.
Then there’s my sworn enemy little rat bastard red squirrel.
We may have evicted them from their corner post home…..
But it hasn’t stopped their daily visits.
And raids on the deer bound apple slices.
Turn your back if you want you pesky varmint…. we both know what you’re up to.
Pandemic humor.
Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.
Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….
Simple ads are always the best.
As was I.
So where is it?
I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.
Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
As good an explanation as any.
Because cleanliness is so important.
I love my town!
Where else can you go shopping and be greeted by a chicken?
Although what this poor devil did to be locked up in a rubber prison I don’t know.
Where else can you go to find a library that sets up a walking story time for kids?
Where else can you get alerts about runaway goats?
And offers of free hay?
The same place that airs their poopy grievances on Facebook, that’s where.
I love my town!!
I swear I didn’t plant that!
As any gardener can tell you, things happen.
Flowers don’t bloom, leaves turn brown and sometimes…. things pop up without you having any idea how they got there.
Case in point?
The pots on our back deck.
I swear …..
I didn’t plant that.
But it’s thriving all the same.
Odd products.
Because sometimes you have to look twice.
To me, this looks like strips of wet, tie dyed paper and as such… not the least bit appetizing.
Oh, it’s a healthy vegetable?
Well that explains it.
I’ll try it as soon as I finish my pile of kale.
Hundreds of customers are rarely wrong, but while I like a good massage as much as the next girl?
I’m not using something that looks like my great grandfather’s ballsack.
Just…. no.
This last product isn’t necessarily odd, but it did make me wonder.
Have I been using nail polish made from rendered beef fat all these years?
River's world..... 