Tag Archives: humor

The Farnsworth Art Museum, Rockland, Maine…. A. Wyeth, a fiber crow and some claws.

 

This is a place I’ve always wanted to visit but never have… so on a rainy, blustery day a while back? We did.

The Farnsworth  is famous in these parts for it’s extensive collection of Maine artists….

 

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With the Wyeth’s being front and center.

I’ve always liked Andrew, and on the day we visited there was a special exhibit of his work from WW1.

 

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Art is a strange thing, and totally subjective… so what moves me might leave you flat.

But hey, it’s my blog. My choice.

This simple painting of a helmet filled with pine cones for example.

 

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You’ll have to pardon the reflections in a lot of these shots…. it’s nearly impossible to avoid with the bright gallery lights and glass.

 

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While not known for his portraiture…

 

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This series of photos showing Wyeth at work was quite interesting.

As was the case filled with drawings he did at the age of 8.

 

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Huh…

I’m pretty sure my 8 year old artwork looked something like this:

 

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The next gallery showcased Wyeth’s Maine pieces.

 

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And trust me, they really capture the feel of our coast.

 

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There was also a section of these…

 

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Halloween!

 

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Which looked much better without the reflection of the paintings from the other side of the room.

 

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But you get the idea.

 

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Nothing says Halloween in Maine like a skeletal ship’s captain.

 

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Making our way through the museum we found a fiber artist….

 

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Who had some unusual installations…

 

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Proving that art comes in all shapes and sizes.

 

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Down the stairs and into the main gallery…

 

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A tribute to Maine’s agrarian culture…

 

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And it’s crustaceans.

 

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Yes, that is a marvelous pile of blown glass lobster claws.

 

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It should be noted that while I grew up strolling happily around MOMA in New York, the husband has absolutely no tolerance for modern art.

 

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And I have to admit….. watching him puzzle over what he’s looking at is half the fun of visiting museums together.

 

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I keep telling him that it’s more important to experience art, to feel it… than to understand it.

 

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But he just wrinkles his nose and says….

“Yes. But what the hell is it?”

 

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There were a few  Rockwell Kent  pieces….

 

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Whose work has sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

As well as this:

 

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A table to draw a self portrait.

 

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Which made me very glad we hadn’t run into this fellow.

To be continued….

 

 

 

 

Re-created art…. the finale.

 

Here are the last 3 examples I’ll gleefully share with childlike enthusiasm bore you with.

The original…

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The re-creation…

 

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say this fellow might have enjoyed the exercise a little too much.

The original….

 

 

The re-creation…

 

 

Proof positive modern life is lame.

And because this one literally made me snort, I saved it for last.

The original…

 

 

The re-creation…

 

 

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.

Because we all need a little more laughter these days.

I’m suddenly glad that I don’t drink coffee.

 

Because I saw this in the store a while back….

 

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And have to admit it was a little frightening.

 

 

For anyone interested in a life threatening coffee experience, you can find it here.

 

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Their advertising tag line is “It will wake the dead”…. so please be careful who you give it to.

The world has enough overly caffeinated zombies as is.

 

A limited afternoon series.

 

For the next few afternoons I’m going to be my usual helpful self and give you something to do while you’re quarantining yourself at home like a good viral citizen.

Lately the net has been filled with clever and creative ways to occupy your time…. but I’m going to share one from the Getty Museum that really made me smile.

Since visits to their museum have been cancelled for the near future, they challenged their members to re-create their favorite works of art.

Here are some of my favorites:

The original…

 

 

The re-creation….

 

 

Kudos to this couple.

I don’t know what the hell he put on his head, but damn.

It works.

The original…

 

 

The re-creation….

 

 

I’m not sure Dali would approve, but I’ll give them an A for effort.

And finally, here’s one that’s better seen by side.

 

Brilliant, I tell you!

Simply brilliant.

Say what?

 

I forgot I still had some of these crazy foreign words in my files.

So keep reading… they might come in handy some day.

 

Zhaghzhagh (Persian)

The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage.

 

I don’t have much of a temper, but the next time this happens…..

At least I’ll know what to call it.

 

Cavoli Riscaldati (Italian)

The result of attempting to revive an unworkable relationship. Translates to “reheated cabbage.”

 

Oh, those Italians.

Ever the romantics….

 

Ultimate Korra Caption Contest Winner - on Komic Korra

 

Kaelling (Danish)

You know that woman who stands on her doorstep (or in line at the supermarket, or at the park, or in a restaurant) cursing at her children? The Danes know her, too.

I think we all know that woman.

 

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Bakku-shan (Japanese)

Japanese slang term which describes the experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front.

Because sometimes, you just can’t tell.

 

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I bet we all remember this last one from Laverne and Shirley…. but I never new what it meant until now.

Schlemiel and schlimazel (Yiddish)

Someone prone to bad luck. Yiddish distinguishes between the schlemiel and schlimazel, whose fates would probably be grouped under those of the klutz in other languages. The schlemiel is the traditional maladroit, who spills his coffee; the schlimazel is the one on whom it’s spilled.

 

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Who is Uncle Sam….

 

And why does the bastard want all our money?

 

 

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Ain’t that the truth.

But I’ve just finished doing our taxes…. and now I’m brain dead.

Yes, I always wait until the last minute. Why not? We haven’t gotten a refund since Christ was a Corporal so our returns don’t get mailed until April 14th.

You heard me, mailed. As in snail….with a stamp and everything.

Remember those?

 

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Haven’t you heard the Post Office is dying?

I mail all my bills.

I mail back every postage paid envelope that comes my way… empty.

I even  *gasp*  mail actual birthday cards.

Technology is great, don’t get me wrong. But there’s nothing less personal than a 2 second birthday text.

No one needs that.

So be thoughtful, take the extra time to write your best wishes….. and help save the post office you know you’re going to miss when it’s gone.

 

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I think I have to go there!

 

(Please try to refrain from telling me where to go, although I know it’s tempting.)

 

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Fair enough.

But since we’ve previously established my fondness for rocks…. it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I had a sudden itch to visit Spain when I saw this:

 

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A town that’s literally built into a rock?

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Oh, yes….

Hell yes!

 

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I’m in.

 

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Singular?

How about fan-fucking-tastic!

 

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Check it…

 

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These people love rocks more than I do!

 

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Is this wonderfully bizarre… or what?

 

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I totally want to go.

 

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Free air conditioning!

 

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Sign me up.

 

 

 

Things I learned while grocery shopping.

 

I ventured out of my lock down burrow yesterday and went grocery shopping for the first time in 21 days. It was quite a learning experience.

I learned Wal Mart has a bizarrely convoluted maze of barricades at the entrance so you can’t use the same door as those who are exiting. They have staff wiping down carts, cashiers wiping down check out lanes and six foot distancing markers on the floors. The one thing they didn’t have?

A single employee wearing a mask.  To which I say…. WTH?

At my second stop, a grocery chain called Shaws…. I learned there are 2 staff members with clickers and clipboards counting customers at the entrance so no more than 75 people can be in the store at the same time. They have arrows for one way aisles, distancing markers at the checkout and a ban on bringing reusable bags from home. The one thing they didn’t have?

A single employee wearing a mask. To which I say…. WTF?

I got hollered at for putting my groceries on the check out conveyor belt too soon, by a cashier who wouldn’t wear a mask. Smarten up people! Half measures are no measures. We need to get on top of this thing…. my local pub misses me!

Other things I learned?

I don’t look good in a mask.

 

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And there’s still no toilet paper.

 

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Anywhere.

There was plenty of deodorant, but no toothpaste…. because apparently clean minty breath is more important than body odor during pandemics.

You want flour?

 

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Sorry, no can do.

Oh, there are full shelves here and there.

 

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But they’re filled with such things as Tumeric pasta and….

 

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Yeah.

There was no shortage of those.

This item was fully stocked as well.

 

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Clearly I’m not the only one who hates cilantro.

I also learned you can’t wear reading glasses while sporting an N95 mask. Nope. If you do…. those little suckers will fog up like the back of your teenage boyfriend’s Chevy van on prom night.

I came home with something I didn’t want or need simply because I couldn’t read the damn thing.

Yay me.

I also learned that if you’re menopausal and prone to hot flashes? You’re not going to enjoy going out in public for the foreseeable future.

The mask I wore is great, it filters out all the harmful particles… but breathing through it? Not so great.

I overheated to a temperature approaching the surface of the sun within 5 minutes…. then turned a bright feverish red and had to finish shopping quickly before I melted into a puddle in the dairy section.

Think I’m kidding?

 

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Nope.

 

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Not kidding.

I’m not sick, just splotchy. Honest!