Tag Archives: shopping

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Resort hopping Part 3… The Eagle Mountain House.

December 17, 2019 Rivergirl 29 Comments

Last on our list of resorts that day was an old and well known establishment.

New England is full of quirky places like this.

With a nice big porch…

And a nice big view…

It was a pleasant spot to end the day.

Charming…

Cozy…

And full of antiques….

It was instantly welcoming.

I can’t say it any better than that.

The bar.

Oh, stuff it Dorothy.

You know us better by now.

But amusing sign aside…

The mushroom risotto cake appetizer left a lot to be desired, as did the cranberry gin fizz.

A definite meh.

We only stayed for one round and then headed into the gift shop… where I saw a wine tag that made me laugh.

As well as…

Are you ready for this?

A bucket of ducks!

Christ on a cracker….enough with the rubber ducks.

This was getting creepy.

Bidding farewell to the hotel, and the ducks….

It took all I could do to convince the husband he could not go rummage in the establishment’s old slate roofed barn.

The mere thought of not being able to gather up all the unloved tools and rusted treasures that must be stored in there? Practically ruined his night…

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White Mountains trip Day 6.. shopping and scenery.

December 13, 2019 Rivergirl 21 Comments

Bethel is a lovely little mountain village with some quirky shops.

With a heavy accent on the Yeti for some reason.

We stopped in a gallery….

Filled with local artists…

Moose…

And numerous paintings of vegetables.

Thanks, but I prefer them on my plate… not my walls.

Heading out of town we passed a gorgeous old Victorian.

And a stately old colonial.

A home like that would be my dream… that, and enough money to buy one of those grand old dames and update their interiors.

New houses have no charm.

We cruised along enjoying the scenery…

And the views.

Damn, could you imagine having that for your back yard?

Not too shabby.

A little farther down the road the husband spotted some new construction and turned in to check them out.

By the look of the views? I knew we couldn’t afford it.

The properties were a good size.

With special attention paid to make sure no home blocked another’s view.

So if I win the lottery?

Look for me living here in the autumn.

Number 15 looks just fine…

We have a version of this sign over our way, so it tickled me to see one in the mountains.

Yes, those really are all the names of Maine towns.

Day 6 done, we headed back to our resort for dinner at Camp.

I liked the upscale rustic theme…

Sitting under a lighted canoe…

And a yummy salt brined citrus roasted chicken dinner.

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Because it’s my job.

December 8, 2019 Rivergirl 49 Comments

Bringing weird and not so wonderful products to my reader’s attention.

It’s what I do.

And I know you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to have one of these for your very own, so…

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Yes.

It’s a onesie that’s also a seat.

How can you go wrong?

No more standing for endless hours at your kid’s soccer game. No more shuffling on sore feet while waiting on line at the DMV.

There’s a stupid product made just for you.

And a stupid video to accompany it.

Admit it…

You want one.

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Do you Duluth?

October 18, 2019 Rivergirl 32 Comments

For those not familiar with Duluth Trading Post…. it’s a clothing store with rather humorous commercials.

I say rather, because men usually get a bigger kick out of them than women.

Seeing that the subject matter is somewhat….. gender exclusive.

I’ve never had reason or opportunity to shop at Duluth, but recently a store opened in South Portland and my girlfriend wanted to go see what all the fuss was about.

Aside from some overpriced ( $38 for a plain t shirt? I think not ) and under-styled clothes?

There were these:

An entire section of stupid products.

With a decided bent toward what you do in the bathroom.

Color me unimpressed.

Although I did chortle at these…

Because they reminded me of that horrible gynecologist I had who always asked me how things were “down there”.

Thankfully she lost her license to practice.

But who knows?

She might work for Duluth now….

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Do you need one of these?

October 16, 2019 Rivergirl 50 Comments

Stupid products. They’re everywhere…

Even here.

I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?

Well, this one is for your butt.

The bad part of a fart?

Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…

For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?

Next… no tie shoelaces.

Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.

On first glance this looked promising….

Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.

Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?

Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.

Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.

No…

I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.

As I said, infinite possibilities.

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Because sometimes all you can do is ask why…..

October 8, 2019 Rivergirl 43 Comments

I stumbled across something the other day and I’m afraid I have to share.

Who knows, some of you may thank me.

Farts Direct

Yes.

There is a website where you can actually order a fart.

In a jar.

And while I fully support small businesses and entrepreneurs, I have to wonder….why?

Why do we need a variety of jarred farts?

farts

It’s not the first thing I think of when I ask myself, “What do I get the man who has everything?” …. but maybe someone does.

You have to admit the ad campaign is catchy.

“Make a start and choose your fart.”

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Who knows?

Maybe it’s the gift your significant other has always wanted…. but was afraid to ask for.

And if that’s the case?

Christmas shopping just got a little easier this year.

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Remember…

You saw it here first.

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Things I don’t like today… Part 4.

October 5, 2019 Rivergirl 33 Comments

I don’t like….

Ordering flowers over the phone for a friend who just had surgery down in North Carolina. I wanted a large, impressive arrangement and was very specific with my request. I said….

No carnation fillers.

All pink and purple.

An interesting vase… definitely no clear glass.

So what did they deliver for $160?

A clear glass vase, filled with carnations… and a few yellow roses and orange gerber daisies stuck in for no other reason than to piss me off.

$160 worth of everything I didn’t want!

I don’t like….

Ordering a pair of hard to find little batteries from Amazon that fit in an envelope.

And having it come in a box.

Talk about overkill.

I don’t like…

Reading Maine native Stephen King’s latest,

And realizing he’s lost his touch.

This new book? Meh…

Don’t bother.

I don’t like…

Buying a tin of Altoids to keep in my car,

Getting them home and realizing…

They’re slightly past their prime.

2009?

Damn. That’s worse than what I have in the back of my kitchen cabinet.

I don’t like….

My husband getting called into work on a weekend because,

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Some idiot doesn’t know how to steer his hot air balloon.

Oops!

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Things I like today… Part 7

September 28, 2019 Rivergirl 35 Comments

I like…

This tee shirt I picked up at Goodwill the other day.

If my husband would just follow this one simple rule, life would be so much more pleasant.

I like…

The new yellow kiwi fruit.

Have you tried them?

Yum!

I like….

The Annual Damariscotta PumpkinFest Regatta.

(And you thought we only raced zucchini in Maine. Pfft!)

But this year, I really like the pumpkin they’re using to advertise it.

I like…

Finding multiple praying mantises (manti?) on the baby barn we’re remodeling.

Did you know the female praying mantis bites off her partner’s head after sex?

Clearly she’s a woman who doesn’t like to cuddle.

I like…

Apple season.

Our trees are loaded with juicy fruit…

And soon my belly will be full of juicy pie and fritters.

actual video of me after eating juicy pie and fritters

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Oops.

September 26, 2019 Rivergirl 38 Comments

I learned a lesson the other day… the hard way. (If there’s any other way, I’ve yet to find it.)

In April I received a recall notice for Ethel. (Yes, my car’s name is Ethel)

No big deal, it was something about a brake light switch. I stuck the notice in the drawer thinking, yeah…I’ll have to make an appointment at the dealership sometime.

Which means I promptly forgot all about it.

Then two months ago, we were leaving our friend’s place at camp. They have the driveway from Hell… steep and unpaved. We were backing out, hit some loose gravel and bing! bam! boom! all my warning lights started flashing on the dash. ABS, Vehicle Dynamics Control, Hill Assist.

You name it, it was flashing.

I thought, oh hell… we knocked some silly computer module out of whack.

But the car drove perfectly fine and by the time we got home all the lights were out…. so I didn’t give it a second thought. Until this Monday when I went grocery shopping, pulled into the parking lot and shifted into park. Bing! Bam! Boom! all the warning lights flashed again.

Warning lights. What do I know about warning lights?

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I mean heck, if they had useful ones….. it would make sense.

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But these things were going off for absolutely no reason. Again, my only thought was… stupid computers.

Until I loaded all my groceries in the car, started it and couldn’t shift.

Nada. Nothing. Frozen in park.

Of course it was a hot day…. and of course ice cream was on sale so I’d bought 4 containers. As everything melted into soup, I fiddled and faddled and cursed and finally managed to get it in gear to drive home.

Where it froze in park again.

Moral of the story?

When the manufacturer sends you a recall notice? There’s a reason…. go have it taken care of.

It may just be a brake light switch, and they may assure you “only a small handful of vehicles have had serious issues”….. but if it’s one in three million?

It’s going to be me.

I’m lucky that way.