Tag Archives: toys

Product Hell.

 

Have you ever walked through a store and spotted products that make you do a double take?

I do it quite often and always stop to take pictures to rant/blog/post about later.

Here are a few of my latest finds:

 

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Pickle In A Pouch.

Unrefrigerated and languishing for God knows how long by the cash register?

That’s just wrong.

 

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But Big Papa anthropomorphized Pickle…

The Portly Pickle who’s arms are open wide and ready to wrap you in his pickley goodness??

So very, very wrong.

 

 

Then… there was this:

 

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A remote control Tom Brady helicopter.

Maybe Bill Belichick will use these to spy on opposing teams from now on,  who knows.

But I have to admit…

 

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I think they got Tom’s shade of lipstick just right.

 

 

And finally, there was this wireless keyboard and mouse I ordered from Amazon for the husband.

 

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Which looked great until we opened it and found it didn’t include a dongle. I went back to the Amazon listing and it said “Just plug and play”, so where the hell was it?

Let’s check the instructions.

 

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“Keybord”?

 

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Yeah.

Shame my Japanese is a little rusty.

 

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P.S.   The dongle?

Hidden in a compartment on the back of the mouse.

It’s always the last place you look.

 

 

 

You’re never too old to learn….. LEGOS.

 

Next up in my continuing series on  the absolutely crazy things people will pay money for  Maine Adult Education is…. LEGOS.

Yes, LEGOS.

Those annoying little plastic toy pieces we’ve all stepped on and paid the price.

 

 

And while there have been some other ridiculous classes…

 

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

You’re never to old to learn…. Tin Cans.

You’re never too old to learn…. Knotweed Flutes.

You’re never too old to learn… Succulent Picture Frame.

 

This one, and it’s  how the hell can we make this nonsense sound like a legitimate college course  description really made me laugh.

 

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Oh, it’s a facilitated process?  Well, that explains everything.

And they use specially selected LEGO elements! Wow.

Does that mean the red ones… or the green?

The group discussion would be interesting to hear. Problem solving and decision making? Give me a break… exactly what wisdom will you gain?

 

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Okay, there’s that.

But hey, you’ll be utilizing kinesthetic skills and will be required to learn and listen.

This is Serious Play!

Taught by a Serious Play facilitator!

 

 

Of course when I was young, the people who took LEGOS seriously usually ended up like this….

 

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But maybe times have changed.

 

 

Oddly enough….

 

When I think of lawn ornaments?

Mr. Potato Head is not the first thing that comes to mind.

 

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And while I love a good spud with my steak as much as the next person…

 

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I can’t say I’d want this bigger than life fellow greeting me at my door every night.

 

 

 

Maybe so.

But I’m old enough to remember this creepy vintage playground Potato Head.

 

 

And stand by my statement.

No thank you!

Boys and their (too damned big) toys.

 

The husband had been sputtering about one for a year, so I knew ….

 

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Naturally he had to have the biggest one they sold…

 

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And we had to rent a damned trailer to get the silly thing home.

 

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Sigh.

Did we need a lawn mower with a cut radius almost as wide as I am tall?

No.

 

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But we’ve got one now.

And contrary to popular belief…. bigger is not better when trying to fit said mower in your shed.

 

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I told him it wouldn’t fit before he bought it.

 

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I told him it wouldn’t fit after he bought it.

 

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You know where this is going, right?

 

 

It wouldn’t fit.

 

 

Yeah. Who saw that coming?

So now…

 

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His precious car is going to live outside so the even more precious new toy can have half of the garage to itself.

 

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Men and their toys.

 

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Driving women crazy since time immemorial….