A little pandemic humor.

 

(Because we all need to laugh or we’ll kill the spouses we’re locked in the house with.)

This person found an interesting, albeit slightly creepy…. way to re-purpose Amazon boxes.

 

 

Imagine putting a leash on that and taking it out for a walk?

Here…. our niece’s son used his spare time to jump on a trampoline with his chicken.

 

                                 The chicken was unavailable for comment.

 

I admit I didn’t know about the latest ribbon trend…

 

 

But I sure do wish I lived in this fellow’s neighborhood.

 

Margarita home delivery?

Long live the quarantine!

Farnsworth Part 2…..

 

Continuing our stroll around the museum, we found abstract landscapes…

 

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A necklace challenged woman…

 

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And a large amount of love.

 

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The husband still had that  what the hell am I looking at  puzzled look on his face… and read all the detailed descriptions in hopes of enlightenment.

 

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And speaking of light….

 

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While I’m generally not a fan of realism, the play of light and shadows in this piece were spectacular.

 

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And now?

Behold….

 

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I found a rock!

 

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As well as a nude on a mushroom.

Bet you’ve never seen that before.

 

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Upstairs we found the Maine gallery.

 

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Which welcomed us with bloody fish guts.

I’d have preferred an apple martini, but whatever.

 

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There were Maine scenes.

 

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Including this melancholy piece of women waiting for their men to return from the sea.

 

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There was an extremely long panoramic of Main Street, Rockland in the 1800’s.

 

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Did you know it’s known as the Lobster Capitol of the World?

You do now.

 

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There was a model ship, which after those amazing examples we’d seen in Virginia…. looked like a 4 year old had built it.

 

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Btw… did you know it’s bad luck to say the word pig on a lobster boat? I’ve known fisherman who won’t even bring a ham sandwich on board…. though no one could ever tell me where that started.

 

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What does this have to do with Maine? Other than the fact it’s made with seashells, I have no idea.

I’ve certainly never seen a lobsterman wear one.

 

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I’ve also never seen one wear that.

For which I am quite thankful…..

 

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Done with the museum, I picked a restaurant on the Camden waterfront.

 

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It had a nice view.

 

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And a tasty Maine sipper.

 

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But the husband wasn’t satisfied with the small lunch menu, so we just had clam chowder….

 

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And wondered when that eagle was going to swoop down and snag a piece of fish.

Though I suggested a few other places to eat, the husband opted for Chinese take out…

 

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Which was disappointing, again. It seems no matter how many places we try, they’re always awful.

My shrimp lo mien? Tasted like soap.

The beef and broccoli? Like they used Alpo for sauce.

Blech!

When ya gotta go…..

 

Due to the nationwide shortage of toilet paper, I feel it’s necessary to share a little history.

As well as a helpful alternative in these troubling times.

You know the old saying, “When in Rome?”

Well……

 

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The Ancient Romans were never bothered by a lack of tripe ply Charmin.

No, sir.

Not when they had their handy tersoriums.

 

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I’ll pause for a moment to let you conjure a mental image of using one the next time you pay a visit.

Got it?

Alright then…. moving on.

 

 

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Death by lion…. or swallowing a tersorium?

Sorry, but I’m going with the lion every time.

And in case you’re interested?

You should be thanking this man that you’re not outside searching for a stick right now.

 

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Joseph C. Gayetty.

The inventor of modern toilet paper.

 

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Corn cobs?

No thank you.

But if the Covid shortage continues, we’re all going to wish the Sears catalog was still being printed.

 

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And now that I think about it….

Maybe I need to check the husband’s barn for this stuff. If anyone has some, it will be my other half.

 

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Far be it for me to woo my own destruction.

The Farnsworth Art Museum, Rockland, Maine…. A. Wyeth, a fiber crow and some claws.

 

This is a place I’ve always wanted to visit but never have… so on a rainy, blustery day a while back? We did.

The Farnsworth  is famous in these parts for it’s extensive collection of Maine artists….

 

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With the Wyeth’s being front and center.

I’ve always liked Andrew, and on the day we visited there was a special exhibit of his work from WW1.

 

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Art is a strange thing, and totally subjective… so what moves me might leave you flat.

But hey, it’s my blog. My choice.

This simple painting of a helmet filled with pine cones for example.

 

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You’ll have to pardon the reflections in a lot of these shots…. it’s nearly impossible to avoid with the bright gallery lights and glass.

 

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While not known for his portraiture…

 

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This series of photos showing Wyeth at work was quite interesting.

As was the case filled with drawings he did at the age of 8.

 

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Huh…

I’m pretty sure my 8 year old artwork looked something like this:

 

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The next gallery showcased Wyeth’s Maine pieces.

 

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And trust me, they really capture the feel of our coast.

 

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There was also a section of these…

 

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Halloween!

 

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Which looked much better without the reflection of the paintings from the other side of the room.

 

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But you get the idea.

 

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Nothing says Halloween in Maine like a skeletal ship’s captain.

 

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Making our way through the museum we found a fiber artist….

 

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Who had some unusual installations…

 

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Proving that art comes in all shapes and sizes.

 

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Down the stairs and into the main gallery…

 

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A tribute to Maine’s agrarian culture…

 

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And it’s crustaceans.

 

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Yes, that is a marvelous pile of blown glass lobster claws.

 

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It should be noted that while I grew up strolling happily around MOMA in New York, the husband has absolutely no tolerance for modern art.

 

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And I have to admit….. watching him puzzle over what he’s looking at is half the fun of visiting museums together.

 

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I keep telling him that it’s more important to experience art, to feel it… than to understand it.

 

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But he just wrinkles his nose and says….

“Yes. But what the hell is it?”

 

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There were a few  Rockwell Kent  pieces….

 

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Whose work has sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

As well as this:

 

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A table to draw a self portrait.

 

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Which made me very glad we hadn’t run into this fellow.

To be continued….

 

 

 

 

Re-created art…. the finale.

 

Here are the last 3 examples I’ll gleefully share with childlike enthusiasm bore you with.

The original…

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The re-creation…

 

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say this fellow might have enjoyed the exercise a little too much.

The original….

 

 

The re-creation…

 

 

Proof positive modern life is lame.

And because this one literally made me snort, I saved it for last.

The original…

 

 

The re-creation…

 

 

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.

Because we all need a little more laughter these days.

I’m suddenly glad that I don’t drink coffee.

 

Because I saw this in the store a while back….

 

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And have to admit it was a little frightening.

 

 

For anyone interested in a life threatening coffee experience, you can find it here.

 

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Their advertising tag line is “It will wake the dead”…. so please be careful who you give it to.

The world has enough overly caffeinated zombies as is.

 

A limited afternoon series.

 

For the next few afternoons I’m going to be my usual helpful self and give you something to do while you’re quarantining yourself at home like a good viral citizen.

Lately the net has been filled with clever and creative ways to occupy your time…. but I’m going to share one from the Getty Museum that really made me smile.

Since visits to their museum have been cancelled for the near future, they challenged their members to re-create their favorite works of art.

Here are some of my favorites:

The original…

 

 

The re-creation….

 

 

Kudos to this couple.

I don’t know what the hell he put on his head, but damn.

It works.

The original…

 

 

The re-creation….

 

 

I’m not sure Dali would approve, but I’ll give them an A for effort.

And finally, here’s one that’s better seen by side.

 

Brilliant, I tell you!

Simply brilliant.

Say what?

 

I forgot I still had some of these crazy foreign words in my files.

So keep reading… they might come in handy some day.

 

Zhaghzhagh (Persian)

The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage.

 

I don’t have much of a temper, but the next time this happens…..

At least I’ll know what to call it.

 

Cavoli Riscaldati (Italian)

The result of attempting to revive an unworkable relationship. Translates to “reheated cabbage.”

 

Oh, those Italians.

Ever the romantics….

 

Ultimate Korra Caption Contest Winner - on Komic Korra

 

Kaelling (Danish)

You know that woman who stands on her doorstep (or in line at the supermarket, or at the park, or in a restaurant) cursing at her children? The Danes know her, too.

I think we all know that woman.

 

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Bakku-shan (Japanese)

Japanese slang term which describes the experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front.

Because sometimes, you just can’t tell.

 

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I bet we all remember this last one from Laverne and Shirley…. but I never new what it meant until now.

Schlemiel and schlimazel (Yiddish)

Someone prone to bad luck. Yiddish distinguishes between the schlemiel and schlimazel, whose fates would probably be grouped under those of the klutz in other languages. The schlemiel is the traditional maladroit, who spills his coffee; the schlimazel is the one on whom it’s spilled.

 

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