I love my town.

September 29, 2020 Rivergirl 15 Comments

And what passes for local news on their Facebook page.

No, I don’t know what’s happening either. But turtles are involved so it must be good.

Goat shooing happens more often than you think here.

Now this is news!

While we do live in Maine, moose are more commonly seen up north. Having one stroll our river is a sure way to fire up the locals.

This is another type of wildlife sighting altogether. A traveling donkey who spends a few nights on your lawn by request. Made by a local artist, his name is Mr. H.

Goats are still on the loose.

Clearly their walkabout is causing concern.

But in happier news, the slandering chicken is back home on the drivay.

Perhaps if her owner learned how to spell she’d stay home more often.

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Lady in red?

September 29, 2020 Rivergirl 19 Comments

Not quite.

But the first coat of red stain is on the big barn and it looks beautiful to me.

I’m not sure the husband’s thrill factor is quite as high as mine… but he keeps saying “It looks different.” so I’ll take that as a win.

Different.

Well, yes.

That was the point!

And I think baby barn approves….

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Beauty products I probably need, but won’t buy.

September 28, 2020 Rivergirl 25 Comments

This first one makes me laugh because I’ve been saying it for years.

Don’t waste your money on expensive wrinkle creams ladies… just get some spackle and a putty knife to fill in those cracks.

See?

Same idea… different packaging.

Bad pun aside, if I want to slather egg white on my face? I’ll wait until it’s time to bake blueberry coffee cake again.

No plastic egg required.

This has always baffled me.

It’s ACID…. and peels off a layer of your skin to boost that brightness. Vegan?

Well no shit.

How many cows do you know who are filled with acid?

Silicone mask brush?

Looks like another putty knife to me.

Finally, there’s lip lifter.

Lip lifter.

For Christ’s sake. I have boob lifting bras and butt lifting panties …. now you want me to lift my lips?

I give up.

Gravity, do what you will. As long as I can still lift the martini glass?

I’m good.

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It’s not just for furniture anymore.

September 28, 2020 Rivergirl 32 Comments

My girlfriend was in the market for furniture and asked me to go with her to the new Jordan’s that opened at the Maine Mall.

Holy mackerel Batman!

Clearly it’s been a long time since I shopped for a sofa, because this was a totally immersive experience.

Yes, that picture is of the one store… not the mall itself. Huge doesn’t begin to describe it. We walked and walked and walked and thought we’d never find the end.

Some of the furniture was…

Different.

Let’s go with that.

Wait…

What?

Is this the hamster night light option?

Or disco lighting for when your urge to do the Hustle is too strong to ignore?

Either way, I’ll pass.

The home office section had a few quirky pieces as well.

They were actually selling these vintage typewriters.

Price? $450.

And yes, I’ll be checking the husband’s barn for one as soon as I’m done posting.

So it was an interesting place. But the weirdest thing of all?

This:

Yes.

It’s been long time since I went furniture shopping.

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I’m seeing red.

September 27, 2020 Rivergirl 18 Comments

No, the husband hasn’t bought the contents of that abandoned Victorian up the road….

I mean this kind of red.

Weeee!

Our first glimpse of what poppa barn will look like when finished.

The trim will be added after.

And there’s a lot of it to add.

But I’m excited to see him finally sporting some color.

I think baby barn agrees.

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Was this really necessary?

September 26, 2020 Rivergirl 24 Comments

We have a family of skunks who visit nightly to snack on fallen seed and the food I put out for the fox. I rarely get pictures of them because I can’t shoot through the window when it’s dark. And yes…. I could go outside, but startling a group of skunks and being the recipient of their liquid wrath simply isn’t worth bathing in tomato juice. Even for you.

This little fellow wandered in at dusk the other night.

And while they’re not great photos, they provide proof.

Proof that this happens.

Skunk poo.

In the deer food.

Now was that really necessary?

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Pandemic humor.

September 26, 2020 Rivergirl 29 Comments

I’m still laughing.

Of course.

Who else could it be?

Yes sir, I rip that baby off as soon as I hit open air.

Poor Jersey, it always gets a bum rap.

Not that it doesn’t deserve it.

And hey, I grew up there…. I should know.

For once I’m glad I never mastered that particular skill.

See?

It’s hard all over.

This wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

Or gin.

Or tequila.

Or rum.

Well, you get the idea.

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CSA and grocery store weirdos.

September 24, 2020 Rivergirl 23 Comments

Swiss chard, celery, onion, basil, radishes, carrots, dill, scallions, tomato, pepper and something I’d never tried before.

A Korean melon.

It’s a delicate flavor, like cantaloupe… with the consistency of a cucumber.

At the store this week –

A clearance sale on Hostess coffee.

Poor SnoBalls.

Apparently no one likes them in caffeinated liquid form either.

Italian flour.

WTH?

Do the Irish and French have some as well. And if so, why?

Gag.

More meatless meat. This time in balls.

So wrong.

And yes, the brand name toilet paper was still on the shelves.

But right across the aisle?

Not a Brawny or Bounty in sight.

Thirsty paper towels?

Trust me, they’re anything but.

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The search for perfection.

September 23, 2020 Rivergirl 28 Comments

So now the husband wants to add floor moulding in his big barn… and you know what that means.

An entire afternoon picking through more wood than I thought humanly possible.

Granted, even I would reject that baby.

But come on…..

If he would take half as much time installing it as he does picking it out I might not mind. But nothing is going to be perfectly cornered or angled or mitered so why bother!