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Don’t groan, I know you enjoy these… even if you don’t want to admit it.
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I’ll get things rolling….
My rap name is LIL Cellulite Cream. Making slightly pudgy menopausal women over 50 shake their groove thing like they did before their thighs resembled cottage cheese.
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And before you store a disturbing mental image of my marbled thighs, summer is coming and the lotion I bought is more of a tightener. I’m not cheesy, just jiggly.
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This month’s calendar squirrel is a duet.
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And really, for all the aggravation our resident red bitch causes us …. I think a concert with rodent sized baby grand and vocal accompaniment is the least she can do.
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Required picture of new family member Lord Dudley Mountcatten.
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And yes, I have to report that Ball Wash is back.
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And speaking of hanging, the other day the husband and I were out in the barn and I wanted to play an album. This is not as easy as you might think…. considering the husband put the stereo as close to the ceiling as humanly possible.
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Vinyl could get interesting after a few toddies. Stay tuned.
And finally, birds. In winter. In Maine.
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I’m guessing it kind of sucks.
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This is the last thing we’ll see.
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Amazing, if not terrifying technology.
But hey, you have to admit…. they’ve got the moves.
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Christmas is right around the corner and you need a gift for that certain tipsy someone. Allow me to put forth a few suggestions…
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40 bottles should satisfy even the most hardcore wino on your list.
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Wine on the go? It’s definitely an upgrade from that brown paper bagged Manischewitz and Boones Farm you drank as a teenager.
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Because who among us hasn’t lost a perfectly good glass of the grape in the grass?
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Sipping while dipping?
Sign me up.
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I’ve actually tried these, they’re brilliant.
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I’m so down with this. A carry on margarita is a beautiful thing.
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This looks like an intriguing way to chill your beer.
And they can double as drum sticks when Back in Black comes on the radio. A win win.
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My only question is why anyone makes these things in the first place.
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I prefer my clams in chowder with heavy cream thank you very much.
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Oh, hell no. I can only drink if the BeeGees are playing?
Trust me, if the BeeGees are playing…. I’ll need more not less.
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I’m sorry, but they don’t. Less really is more.
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While this is rather cute? It’s also a great way to take out an eye. Weaponized mallows are over the top, even for me.
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No. Aside from the fact the packaging seems to be marketed for 6 year old girls…
I refuse to wear a perfume named Juicy Bunny on sheer principle.
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James Taylor.
How wonderful is that!
Yes, I could easily ride out the Covid crisis with James.
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He was the soundtrack of my youth.
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My early married life.
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And his music still speaks to me today.
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Welcome James, pull up a chair and have a cuppa…
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As this fellow did.
Loud and proud.
All the way down our road…..
( Turn your volume way up to experience it as I did. I swear you could hear him half a mile away. )
Because laughter is the only contagious thing I want to catch.
That sounds about right.
We didn’t.
We really didn’t….
I’m all for this.
As hard as lock down has been, there are some people I’ve been quite happy to avoid.
I could totally rock that look.
Yeah.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with the conspiracy theorists.
That’s so wrong.
Tight pants.
A pandemic symptom I can totally relate to.
Which brings me to the new anthem for the Covid age.
Sing it sister!
On a gloomy, overcast Sunday morning….we started putting trim board on the baby barn at 9:00am.
At 10:00am we were still on the first piece.
And yes, at 11:00am we were still there as well.
Frustrating?
A wee bit.
Cutting angles is not our forte….. and it almost made me wish I’d paid more attention in 7th grade geometry.
A lot of serious thought, planning… not to mention cursing…. was going on right there.
And before you say “Use a mitre saw!”, we did. But the building is less than straight and square and when we finally did manage to get it right?
It was still wrong.
Thank God for flashing. It covers a multitude of sins.
So this side looked good.
But when we turned the corner?
Not so much.
How the Hell did that happen?
There was only one solution.
Sit on the big barn porch and photograph it from far away.
Yes.
Much better.
More flashing, more nightmarish trim board.
And if you’re asking what I contributed to the project?
Besides acting as a general gopher…. because when the husband is up his tools are down, and when he’s down his tools are up… my contribution was this:
Classic tunes on shuffle.
There he goes again, ever the optimist.
Thankfully the husband used to do roofing when he was young, so yes. The shingles were perfectly level.
And because he was so thrilled something was finally level?
He checked it again.
And again.
I gave up on him at 6:00pm and headed inside for dinner, but he was out there until 8:00 trying to reach the top.
He didn’t quite make it.
River's world..... 