Tag Archives: weird

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Products that make my eyes roll.

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Maybe it’s just me, but when I see a list of “must have” products?

It’s a guarantee I mustn’t.

 

 

Do I need a magnetized bin to save my lint?

I most decidedly do not.

Does anyone?

With my luck I’d save lint and the red squirrels would steal it and start nest building again.

 

 

So basically this is a tarp with a square frame and handles. It costs $30 and you still have to pay someone to haul it away. Makes me glad I live in the country where we can just load up our truck and drive to the dump.

 

 

Is this a joke?

No one wants to time warp back to 80’s hair.

 

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Ack!

 

 

 

Eco friendly bamboo? Fine.

 

But charcoal bristles treated with carbon?

 

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This is not a look I care to embrace.

And finally….

 

 

Sorry, but I’m thinking my inner mermaid is better left unrevealed.

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Odd products.

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Because sometimes you have to look twice.

 

 

To me, this looks like strips of wet, tie dyed paper and as such… not the least bit appetizing.

 

 

Oh, it’s a healthy vegetable?

Well that explains it.

I’ll try it as soon as I finish my pile of kale.

 

 

Hundreds of customers are rarely wrong, but while I like a good massage as much as the next girl?

I’m not using something that looks like my great grandfather’s ballsack.

Just…. no.

This last product isn’t necessarily odd, but it did make me wonder.

 

 

Have I been using nail polish made from rendered beef fat all these years?

 

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Because they’re odd.

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I love odd, in case you haven’t been paying attention.

And on my normal route to the grocery store?

I pass this:

 

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A bit personal as questions go, but delightfully odd.

And as my grocery store has been running low on sugar lately…

This:

 

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Golden?

I’m fervently hoping they’re not talking about showers…. but anything that’s less processed usually gets my vote.

And adding to the growing list of  FFS, the panic buyers are still at it  substitute products I have to buy now?

This:

 

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I must confess, I’m a trifle afraid of the Cousin Willie brand.

The more I stare, the more that ear of corn on the top right starts to look menacing… but I’ll be brave and soldier on.

At least it’s not as terrifying as this red pepper.

 

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I agree.

Chocolate is always the safer bet.

 

 

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With apologies to my male readers….

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Have you heard of Goop?

Until recently the only one I knew about was this:

 

And honestly?

I wish to Hell it had stayed that way.

But no… a friend of mine had to start waxing poetic about the company Gwyneth Paltrow started. Not caring much about self help websites or Gwyneth Paltrow, I was politely zoning out…. until she mentioned something she thought I just had to buy.

 

 

Yes.

It’s for real. Though why in the world she thought I needed one I have no clue.

 

 

 

If can someone tell me why geranium, bergamot, cedar and rose smell like a vagina…. I’ll be forever in your debt.

And if that wasn’t ridiculous enough?

There’s this:

 

 

Now I like jade as much as the next girl, but…. no.

 

No, I don’t like jade that much.

I admit the instructions made me snort…

But I seriously doubt I’ll be searching for a sacred space to store one anytime soon.

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Weird products.

31 Comments

 

They’re everywhere.. including here.

And while I like a nice manicure as much as the next girl?

 

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I don’t think I’m quite ready to share Mr. Ed’s beauty routine.

 

 

This next product confuses me.

 

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If my ears are cold….

Why am I sweating? And if I’m sweating….

Why are my ears cold? This makes no sense.

Third on the list –

 

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This bothers me for two reasons.

First, the name. I mean really…. there’s only one thing I think of when I hear the word tinkle, and an eyebrow razor isn’t even close.

Second… why are sharp instruments being packaged in cutsie pastel colors with a cartoon bound to attract children?

Little Susie doesn’t want a teddy bear…. give her something to slash her wrists with instead. It’s pink!

 

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Again with the lazy ass people products.

Because yes, cell phones really are too heavy.

Finally, there’s a product I didn’t even know I needed.

 

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My pillowcase is giving me pimples!

When the hell did that start?

 

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Who? What! Why….?

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Who would invent such a thing?

What would make them think this was a good idea?

And why would anyone ever want to buy it?

 

Wonder what I’m talking about?

It’s this:

 

 

Yes.

You read that correctly.

Brewers in Poland have developed a fermented beer made from the vaginal lactic acid of beautiful women.

Doesn’t that sound yummy?

 

 

 

If you want to read more about it…..  here.

The entire idea is as ridiculous as it is disgusting, which is why I had to blog about it.

 

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Because if this crap has to rattle around in my brain?

I need to make sure it rattles around in yours as well.

 

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Things that make me say WTH?

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Stupid products….

Keeping the American economy strong for decades.

 

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The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…

 

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Most important meal of the day? Maybe.

But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.

So no cereal sippy cups for us.

 

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Toaster bags.

 

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Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?

I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.

 

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No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.

 

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Pooch Selfies.

Kill me now.

 

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Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.

 

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And while this may look a little odd?

 

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The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.

But this?

 

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This is a bridge too far.

 

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No.

Just… no.

 

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I don’t know about you?

But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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So, yeah. Apparently this is a thing.

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I went out to lunch in South Portland a month or so ago and drove by this:

 

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Yes.

You read that correctly.

 

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There’s a place where you can be socially active by throwing an axe.

Though I’m guessing not at each other…. because that would dramatically cut down on the social part.

 

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Think I’m kidding?

I’m not.

There’s even a league.

 

 

 

Which leads me to wonder if there’s another league for suburban axe throwing.

If so, I know a few soccer moms who would excel.

Also unbeknownst to me, there are a slew of videos that can teach you the finer points of the sport.

 

 

So if you’re looking for a new hobby?

Remember…. you saw it here first.

 

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Grocery store oddities.

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Proof positive you can find blog fodder everywhere.

Not being a Slim Jim or pork rind fan I passed on these…

 

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I mean, hey… I like spicy food.

But not hot enough to make my pig squeal.

Then there was this –

 

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A clever ad gimmick for Walking Dead fans, but I can turn into a zombie by drinking just about anything.

No apocalypse necessary.

 

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I did buy these lemons.

Although I was little disappointed they didn’t have seed spitting lips.

Next time I’ll look for the GMO versions.

They’re always more interesting.

 

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And finally, back to the liquor aisle.

While the name Screwball caught my attention….

 

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I could come up with no reasonable explanation for adding peanut butter to a perfectly good whisky.

That’s just wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

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I must lead a sheltered life.

29 Comments

 

Because not only had I never heard of this woman and her bizarre career choice….

But I was totally unaware there was an audience for it as well.

I have an iPhone.

Which means I have Apple News.

So last week I was scrolling through the stories of the day and stumbled across this:

 

 

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I shouldn’t have watched.

I know that…. believe me. But I thought it was a joke. I figured I would laugh and blog about the ridiculousness of it.

It wasn’t a joke.

And apparently this is a thing.

There’s an entire  YouTube  channel devoted to watching Dr. Sandra Lee pop people’s pimples.

She has 5,643,803 subscribers FFS!

I fear for the future of the human race when over half a billion people have nothing better to do than watch this:

 

 

 

 

We’re doomed I tell you.

Doomed.