Category Archives: Uncategorized

Beauty products I probably need, but won’t buy.

September 28, 2020 Rivergirl 25 Comments

This first one makes me laugh because I’ve been saying it for years.

Don’t waste your money on expensive wrinkle creams ladies… just get some spackle and a putty knife to fill in those cracks.

See?

Same idea… different packaging.

Bad pun aside, if I want to slather egg white on my face? I’ll wait until it’s time to bake blueberry coffee cake again.

No plastic egg required.

This has always baffled me.

It’s ACID…. and peels off a layer of your skin to boost that brightness. Vegan?

Well no shit.

How many cows do you know who are filled with acid?

Silicone mask brush?

Looks like another putty knife to me.

Finally, there’s lip lifter.

Lip lifter.

For Christ’s sake. I have boob lifting bras and butt lifting panties …. now you want me to lift my lips?

I give up.

Gravity, do what you will. As long as I can still lift the martini glass?

I’m good.

Uncategorized

It’s not just for furniture anymore.

September 28, 2020 Rivergirl 32 Comments

My girlfriend was in the market for furniture and asked me to go with her to the new Jordan’s that opened at the Maine Mall.

Holy mackerel Batman!

Clearly it’s been a long time since I shopped for a sofa, because this was a totally immersive experience.

Yes, that picture is of the one store… not the mall itself. Huge doesn’t begin to describe it. We walked and walked and walked and thought we’d never find the end.

Some of the furniture was…

Different.

Let’s go with that.

Wait…

What?

Is this the hamster night light option?

Or disco lighting for when your urge to do the Hustle is too strong to ignore?

Either way, I’ll pass.

The home office section had a few quirky pieces as well.

They were actually selling these vintage typewriters.

Price? $450.

And yes, I’ll be checking the husband’s barn for one as soon as I’m done posting.

So it was an interesting place. But the weirdest thing of all?

This:

Yes.

It’s been long time since I went furniture shopping.

Uncategorized

I’m seeing red.

September 27, 2020 Rivergirl 18 Comments

No, the husband hasn’t bought the contents of that abandoned Victorian up the road….

I mean this kind of red.

Weeee!

Our first glimpse of what poppa barn will look like when finished.

The trim will be added after.

And there’s a lot of it to add.

But I’m excited to see him finally sporting some color.

I think baby barn agrees.

Uncategorized

Was this really necessary?

September 26, 2020 Rivergirl 24 Comments

We have a family of skunks who visit nightly to snack on fallen seed and the food I put out for the fox. I rarely get pictures of them because I can’t shoot through the window when it’s dark. And yes…. I could go outside, but startling a group of skunks and being the recipient of their liquid wrath simply isn’t worth bathing in tomato juice. Even for you.

This little fellow wandered in at dusk the other night.

And while they’re not great photos, they provide proof.

Proof that this happens.

Skunk poo.

In the deer food.

Now was that really necessary?

Uncategorized

Pandemic humor.

September 26, 2020 Rivergirl 29 Comments

I’m still laughing.

Of course.

Who else could it be?

Yes sir, I rip that baby off as soon as I hit open air.

Poor Jersey, it always gets a bum rap.

Not that it doesn’t deserve it.

And hey, I grew up there…. I should know.

For once I’m glad I never mastered that particular skill.

See?

It’s hard all over.

This wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

Or gin.

Or tequila.

Or rum.

Well, you get the idea.

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CSA and grocery store weirdos.

September 24, 2020 Rivergirl 23 Comments

Swiss chard, celery, onion, basil, radishes, carrots, dill, scallions, tomato, pepper and something I’d never tried before.

A Korean melon.

It’s a delicate flavor, like cantaloupe… with the consistency of a cucumber.

At the store this week –

A clearance sale on Hostess coffee.

Poor SnoBalls.

Apparently no one likes them in caffeinated liquid form either.

Italian flour.

WTH?

Do the Irish and French have some as well. And if so, why?

Gag.

More meatless meat. This time in balls.

So wrong.

And yes, the brand name toilet paper was still on the shelves.

But right across the aisle?

Not a Brawny or Bounty in sight.

Thirsty paper towels?

Trust me, they’re anything but.

Uncategorized

The search for perfection.

September 23, 2020 Rivergirl 28 Comments

So now the husband wants to add floor moulding in his big barn… and you know what that means.

An entire afternoon picking through more wood than I thought humanly possible.

Granted, even I would reject that baby.

But come on…..

If he would take half as much time installing it as he does picking it out I might not mind. But nothing is going to be perfectly cornered or angled or mitered so why bother!

Our afternoon trip ended here.

With the moon rising and me refusing to cook the pork roast dinner I had planned.

You want perfect wood? You have to pay the piper.

Or in this case, the pizza place.

Uncategorized

I love my town.

September 22, 2020 Rivergirl 16 Comments

And I love what people post on its Facebook page.

Oh no.

If you see it? Please tell it we serve a daily and nightly buffet free of charge.

I’m not exactly sure what constitutes ‘groovy’ lamb.

But I’m pretty sure this isn’t it.

Jumping orangey peach colored fish?

Thanks 2020. Like this year wasn’t weird enough.

I have to admit I’d never even heard of letterboxing before.

Sounds like a perfect Covid era activity though.

Normally I’d say friend.

But it’s 2020, for all we know that thing is radioactive.

A giant vacuum cleaner?

Well, yeah. They want us to social distance… so just stick the hose end into your local pub and switch her on.

Uncategorized

Bambi… the Devil’s Spawn.

September 20, 2020 Rivergirl 8 Comments

Our old doe surprised us recently. She’s been with us for a long time, and every year? She has young.

She was pregnant so often, that’s actually what we call her. Pregnant.

Original? No.

But she didn’t look like a Betty, so go with it.

This year she’s been moving more slowly and looks quite thin. It’s September and we hadn’t seen her with any fawns so we figured that time of her life had passed.

Until yesterday….

When we looked out and saw her bringing a baby out of the field.

It’s late in the year to have such a young spotted fawn.

And to be honest, something about this baby looked…. off.

At first I couldn’t put my finger on it.

And then I thought…

That little sucker just looks….

Mean.

Look at this last picture and tell me I’m wrong.

Go on, I dare you.

Uncategorized

A rare sighting.

September 19, 2020 Rivergirl 22 Comments

No, it’s not me eating a meatless meat patty or getting down with the free Billy Ocean album the husband’s playing to torment me in his ~~barn, man cave~~ large building filled with crap.

It’s this: