Tag Archives: food

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Apple graveyard

39 Comments

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After my husband cut the wood and dragged off the small branches from his apple tree butchering….

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We were left with a veritable apple graveyard.

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I filled buckets and totes and gave a large box to our friend but there were still hundreds on the ground.

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I love to bake and will occasionally dehydrate but I’m not a canner. Which means we had too many apples. I tried to gift them to our neighbors but they all have trees loaded with fruit this year as well.

Enter our town’s Facebook page.

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I was immediately flooded with messages and let 3 women come over and harvest the bounty. They all filled big buckets but there was still more on the ground.

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Perfect! The porcine owner showed up with her kids, buckets, totes, bags and a wagon. She totally cleared out the area and I thought how nice… their pet piggy will be happily munching on sweet treats. I asked her to send me a picture of the cutie and sadly realized that little piggy won’t be happy for long.

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*gulp*

I thanked her, but declined the offer. Come on, if you name him? You shouldn’t eat him.

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Things for which there are no reasonable explanations.

32 Comments

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Have you noticed the new trend in flour? They make it out of everything now. Back in my day you had Gold Medal and the only choices were 1 pound or 5. Now? There’s rice flour, almond flour, spelt flour and….

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Good grief, don’t people know the only acceptable alternative use of watermelon is margaritas?

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I saw this coffee table in Home Goods the other day and it made me wonder….

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Has caging misbehaving children and dinner guests now become acceptable?Because I’m fine with that.

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Crocs…the hideous abominations are everywhere.

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They’re basically the Honey Boo Boo of footwear and people need to stop wearing them.

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And fruit themed Crocs?

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Do nothing to alter my opinion of these pathetic plastic horrors. Please… for the love of all that’s holy, let these things die the natural death of outdated ugly footwear.

Like Jellies.

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They were hideous, but at least they had the decency to die.

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Random nonsense.

44 Comments

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The combination of marshmallow fluff and cream cheese is enough to make me hurl, but I suppose it’s an appropriate name. Eat enough of that and your booty will definitely be dipping.

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If you’ve been in or around the military you’ll be laughing right now. If not, please continue reading.

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A talking pear?

Damn it… now I’ll have to go out and listen to ours.

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There’s no reason for this chicken. He just made me smile.

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That’s one bottle that will not be making it’s way into the man cave bar.

WTH?

🤢

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Goodwill is good for the soul.

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A girlfriend and I hit Goodwill the other day and if nothing else, it’s a great place to pick up cheap books.

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16 books for $21? A little slice of heaven right there.

Of course, even thrift store shopping isn’t immune to politics these days…

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And while I didn’t buy that tee shirt, I did buy this one. Because, honestly…. I had to.

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I shall wear it and point at myself the next time my husband disagrees with me. That should go over well.

My girlfriend was in the mood for Cracker Barrel so that’s where we headed for lunch. The restaurant was almost empty but the hostess told us there would still be a 20-25 minute wait to be seated due to short staffing. (I’m seriously tired of waiting for meals… have all the pre Covid waiters and waitresses been abducted by aliens and given the anal probe? If not… please go back to work. River be hungry. )

Since it was raining we chose to wander the store instead of sitting outside on the rocking chairs, and that’s where I saw this:

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For which I have no logical explanation.

But perhaps the biggest surprise of the day?

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Alcohol… at Cracker Barrel!

When did that happen? Granted it’s not a favorite restaurant of mine and I probably haven’t stepped foot in one since my mother passed but it seems like I would have noticed such a momentous event.

Since their beer was dishwater I opted for a mimosa, which was close to dishwater only fizzy… but yes, it was alcohol!

At Cracker Barrel!

The world really has gone mad.

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Have you ever said to hell with it and just eaten the cookie?

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I’ve been known to pepper my speech with the occasional four letter word… but by far, the worst one to ever cross my lips was diet.

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I was a normal sized child, a small teenager and a slim but curvy young adult. 110 lbs when I married my husband, and though I would positively kill for that figure today? Nature got in the way.

I gained a little weight at 35, but no problem. I hardly noticed it.

I gained a little weight at 40, and okay.. maybe I went up a size (or two).

But then I had a hysterectomy at 52 and gained a whole lotta weight. Being forced into menopause wrecked me and my body was no longer my own. No matter what type of diet or exercise I tried, the weight stayed on.

Next up was Covid lockdown with my husband teleworking and me cooking 24/7, so yeah. Another 10lbs.

And if that wasn’t bad enough? I blew my knee out last October. Damaged my MCL and ended up with a deep root radial meniscal tear… the worst kind. The kind that doesn’t heal. The kind that keeps you off the treadmill and plonks you on the couch. 10 more pounds and I’ve just about lost the will to live. Yoga pants are my friend and my clothes are silently mocking me from the closet.

I’m tired.

Tired of being overweight.

Tired of Covid ruining our travel retirement plans.

Tired of killer knee pain every single day.

Tired of the ugliness in the world.

Tired of the political and cultural divide in this country.

But most of all?

I’m tired of diets.

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So to Hell with it. I’m happily married and don’t need to impress anyone. My health is good despite the ##lbs I’ve put on since I hit 50.

So ya know what…?

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I’m going to eat the cookie.

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Random River drivel.

9 Comments

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten sleeps in some odd positions.

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I look, and think he must be uncomfortable… but the wee beast sleeps like that 19 hours a day so I must be mistaken.

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Have you ever tried a recipe and had your hopes for decadent dessert deliciousness dashed?

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That’s what happened when I found a recipe for caramel banana upside down cake. I painstakingly followed the directions… and while it looked and smelled wonderful?

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It was a banana topped brick. I swear I could have used it as a doorstop… or to bash in someone’s head. The husband and I took one bite a piece and heaved it in the trash.

Tres disappointing.

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But I passed this woodpile later in the day…

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And had to smile.

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Be sure to ask for an extra stabby grabby the next time you go out to eat…. and think of me.

😉

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When it’s a beautiful day in Maine…

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You head for lunch on the coast.

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And this time we picked Sebasco Resort in Phippsburg.

There are two restaurants on site, but unfortunately the nicer one with the full menu was closed due to Covid era short staffing.

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So we made do with The Ledges pub.

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The outdoor patio area was filled with tourists so we had to sit inside… but the views were just as nice.

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As were the cocktails. Two basil refreshers later, it was time to order.

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We both started with the clam chowder which was good, but I’m a Mainer and quite picky about giving two thumbs up to chowder.

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Husband had a perfectly prepared baked haddock with white wine and butter…

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But my fried scallops were less than satisfactory. The batter was thick and way too crunchy… and Holy Hell, dripping in enough grease to lube two cars and a pick up truck. Blech.

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If I’d been able to open the window I would have fed them to this fellow.

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Thankfully the pub redeemed itself with a nice wild Maine blueberry pie a la mode.

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After our meal we attempted to walk off the pounds.

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To be continued….

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I love my town.

19 Comments

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Headline news is a little different in my small Maine town.

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Record breaking pepper? Someone call CNN!

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While I do have experience in caretaking bossy, moody diva cats and I seriously love me some chickens… fish? They’re just too needy.

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Momma Mia! That is one huge wasp domicile.

And finally, I saved the best for last.

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I’m crossing my fingers and toes this idea becomes a reality… and shall donate accordingly.

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Because I’m full of random nonsense right now.

14 Comments

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I bought this for the man cave bar, mainly because Amazon is evil and it’s entirely too easy to satisfy impulse shopping cravings.

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It looked like a great idea, but in reality… was a royal pain in the patoot. The inner chamber would never seat properly and every time you painstakingly filled the outer, the water would leak through and pop the inner chamber up like a cork.

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Solution? Weigh down the inner chamber with frozen fruit.

I refuse to be beaten.

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The next time my husband refuses to listen me? That is what I’m going to show him.

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Cheaters chicken and dumplings. Easy, creamy and quite tasty. What’s not to love?

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In case anyone is interested.

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I use a family size rotisserie chicken, low sodium broth and lite salt with half the sodium. It’s still savory.

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For those of us who love our cats?

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This is probably very close to the truth.

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