Tag Archives: food

New is not always improved.

 

You never know what the grocery store will be out of these days.

I haven’t seen flour for weeks, unless it’s made from something ghastly. At this point, dehydrated tofu/arugula flour wouldn’t surprise me.

Along with the lack of everyday items comes the strange substitutions.

Some, I can live with.

 

 

Peach and almond dish soap? Sure.

Legume pastas? Not so much.

 

 

Colorful? Yes.

Tasty? I doubt it.

 

 

Yes, these horrors are still on the shelf.

Though that shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone.

I couldn’t find my regular orange juice last trip and had to home with this.

 

 

And all I can say is the fruit might have ripened on the tree…. but the flavor leeched out on the way to the bottle. A less fruity fruit juice you’re not apt to find.

Then there was this, that the husband simply had to buy when the peanut butter shelf was empty.

 

 

Roasted watermelon seed butter.

WTF?

 

 

”  ‘In with the new’  kinda day” ?

This abomination looks like beige spackling paste and smells half as appetizing. Needless to say the other half had one sandwich and called it good.

Did I mention it was $17 a jar?

A new scent of soap made its way to the shelves and being a mango lover, I had high hopes.

 

 

Sadly there was a lot more butter than mango in this product and unless you have a sudden urge to smell like a hot bucket of movie theater popcorn? I’d steer clear.

And finally, there were Pete and Gerry’s eggs.

 

 

What happened to Ben….

Good God, is my Cherry Garcia in peril?

 

 

Gerry… go back to Ben.

Substitutions are not always acceptable.

 

Pandemic humor.

 

Because we all still need a laugh.

 

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Now that’s just rude.

 

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This looks like a great idea since I always whup the husband at gin rummy and he won’t play with me anymore.

*Note to self – borrow neighbor’s rooster*

 

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I really do miss traveling.

Even if it’s just to the next town.

 

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Indeed.

 

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Yeah.

Gwyneth  (correct spelling)  can bite me.

( Did I already post this one? Maybe… but the sentiment holds true. )

 

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Cats.

They think they know everything. It happens to be tequila.

Stuff it Mittens.

 

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Jesus… neither do I!

We’re doomed.

 

 

Sad, but true.

 

While I’m sure there are thousands of people using their forced quarantine time at home to be useful and productive….

I can honestly say I’m not one of them.

 

 

I’m not learning a new language, sewing masks for the homeless or even organizing my shoe closet.

What… you don’t have a closet solely devoted to shoes?

 

 

What I am doing is cooking.

And eating.

Trying new recipes.

And eating.

Resurrecting old recipes.

And eating.

Making up recipes.

And eating.

Are you noticing the trend here?

 

 

 

That sounds about right.

And while I had been dieting and exercising and lost 20 odd pounds before the virus locked me inside with the refrigerator?

 

 

Yeah.

That’s pretty much where I am now.

 

 

And that’s probably where I’ll be when this whole mess is over.

 

 

Now if you’ll excuse me, there are some double fudge caramel brownies in the kitchen that look lonely.

We can’t have that.

Just…. no.

 

Have you noticed how everyone is posting their favorite recipes online lately?

Quarantine fever is driving everyone into the kitchen and they just can’t wait to share.

Every time I look I’m inundated with pleas of,  “Try this, you’ll love it!” or  “Our family’s favorite. You won’t be disappointed!”

In truth, I rarely love it…. and am more often than not disappointed.

 

Friends are always extolling the virtues of kale, tumeric, tofu and other completely unappealing things…

 

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And after the recipe I saw yesterday?

I realize I simply need new friends.

 

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Yeah.

I’m pretty sure parsnip spice cake won’t be happening in our kitchen any time soon.

 

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Proof positive correct spelling is important.

 

In these stress and virus filled days, we need to be able to trust the information being disseminated by the authorities and local media.

Sometimes they get it right.

Sometimes they don’t.

 

 

Of course incorrect spelling does make wonderful blog fodder.

 

 

Not to mention creative ways to use those extra bananas on your kitchen counter.

 

 

Who needs banana bread when you can do this?

 

Crazy like a…..

 

You knew where this was headed.

 

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Our beautiful pair of foxes from last year are back.

 

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Which means I’m laying in a steady supply of grain free vitamin filled dry dog food with taurine.

 

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Along with fresh strawberries and blueberries.

 

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Why?

Because a veterinarian friend told me that’s the best thing to feed them.

And because this:

 

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Is only available for sale in England.

No soup for you!

 

I ventured out to the grocery store again this morning and was feeling a bit gangsta.

 

 

Although in retrospect, a pink butterflied gangsta probably wasn’t all that frightening.

Still no toilet paper or flour on the shelves…. and may I just say?

This is getting old.

It’s been what, almost 2 months since the virus started spreading? Come on people…. the supply chain is still moving, food is still available. Stop the panic buying FFS!

Today?

 

 

The soup Nazi made an appearance.

 

 

Apparently, the run on soup has begun.

 

 

Unless you want creamy cauliflower or butternut squash.

There was plenty of that.

 

 

Ya gotta love ’em….

 

Cheap knock offs.

We’ve all seen them, we’ve all cringed.

Here are some that might make you laugh as well.

 

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Clearly these are Thin Mints fatter cousins.

 

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Arm and Hatchet…

When you’re really serious about getting rid of refrigerator odors.

 

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Big Fella?

Come on…. it’s like they’re not even trying.

 

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Nut Master!

I can’t even….   🤣 🤣 🤣

 

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For those days when your hamburger needs more than a helper.

 

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Sorry…

But my mind went to a bad place with this one.

 

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I’m going out on a limb here and guessing this wasn’t made in Massachusetts.

And finally, from Wal Mart….. the king of knock offs.

 

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Because no one could be bothered to think up a real name for it.

Things that make me say WTH?

 

Stupid products….

Keeping the American economy strong for decades.

 

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The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…

 

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Most important meal of the day? Maybe.

But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.

So no cereal sippy cups for us.

 

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Toaster bags.

 

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Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?

I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.

 

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No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.

 

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Pooch Selfies.

Kill me now.

 

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Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.

 

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And while this may look a little odd?

 

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The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.

But this?

 

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This is a bridge too far.

 

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No.

Just… no.

 

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I don’t know about you?

But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Farnsworth Part 2…..

 

Continuing our stroll around the museum, we found abstract landscapes…

 

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A necklace challenged woman…

 

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And a large amount of love.

 

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The husband still had that  what the hell am I looking at  puzzled look on his face… and read all the detailed descriptions in hopes of enlightenment.

 

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And speaking of light….

 

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While I’m generally not a fan of realism, the play of light and shadows in this piece were spectacular.

 

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And now?

Behold….

 

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I found a rock!

 

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As well as a nude on a mushroom.

Bet you’ve never seen that before.

 

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Upstairs we found the Maine gallery.

 

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Which welcomed us with bloody fish guts.

I’d have preferred an apple martini, but whatever.

 

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There were Maine scenes.

 

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Including this melancholy piece of women waiting for their men to return from the sea.

 

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There was an extremely long panoramic of Main Street, Rockland in the 1800’s.

 

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Did you know it’s known as the Lobster Capitol of the World?

You do now.

 

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There was a model ship, which after those amazing examples we’d seen in Virginia…. looked like a 4 year old had built it.

 

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Btw… did you know it’s bad luck to say the word pig on a lobster boat? I’ve known fisherman who won’t even bring a ham sandwich on board…. though no one could ever tell me where that started.

 

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What does this have to do with Maine? Other than the fact it’s made with seashells, I have no idea.

I’ve certainly never seen a lobsterman wear one.

 

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I’ve also never seen one wear that.

For which I am quite thankful…..

 

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Done with the museum, I picked a restaurant on the Camden waterfront.

 

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It had a nice view.

 

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And a tasty Maine sipper.

 

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But the husband wasn’t satisfied with the small lunch menu, so we just had clam chowder….

 

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And wondered when that eagle was going to swoop down and snag a piece of fish.

Though I suggested a few other places to eat, the husband opted for Chinese take out…

 

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Which was disappointing, again. It seems no matter how many places we try, they’re always awful.

My shrimp lo mien? Tasted like soap.

The beef and broccoli? Like they used Alpo for sauce.

Blech!