Or is this pepper puckering up for a kiss?
Fresh produce is one thing.
But fresh produce?
That’s a bridge too far.
Tag Archives: food
It’s that time again.
Woodchucks!
Posing in clover.
Having a healthy snack.
Kissing.
Or biting, who the hell knows? They’re rodents….. for all I know they’re discussing campaign strategy.
They love lettuce.
And since we’ve been flooded with it from our CSA, so have they.
Behold –
My first photo of momma and 4 babies together.
She’s down 2 due to fox predation, so the sextuplets are now quadruplets.
Poor momma.
She’s fiercely protective, but Mother Nature always has the final say.
Like these quick shots I didn’t have time to focus.
Do you suppose that starling called Uber….
And this was what showed up?
CSA and grocery store horrors.
This week’s offering from our CSA was a little lean on our end because there were a lot of things we don’t eat and elected to let our neighbor take.
Cilantro, bok choi, kale, turnips, spigarello, fennel, and kohlrabi? We passed.
But the chard was rainbow colored…
So there is that.
And in the continuing saga of bizarre grocery items found on my local shelves…..
Every possible mutation of pasta imaginable are still being pushed.
As is the ever present (and still disgusting) kale.
Delicious? I doubt it.
Crazy good? Not possible.
Stop the insanity and put kale back where it belongs…. in a rabbit’s colon. Other than the trash can, that’s the only proper place.
Thankfully there was one sane product line of which I took full advantage.
Let the grilling begin.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just phoning it in.
There’s nothing like the internet to make you feel inadequate.
And while I consider myself a relatively good cook, photos of the latest trend in baking shared by a friend are making me doubt my commitment.
Because, to be honest….
This type of magic never occurs in my kitchen.
I can’t even blame it on not having the time…
Because that’s something I have plenty of right now.
So all I can say is …. stop.
Stop making the rest of us look like slackers.
Asshole.
Now you’re just showing off.
Pandemic humor.
Because if I don’t laugh I might have to hurt someone.
Add a margarita and it sounds like a plan.
Because if you won’t wear a mask, why should I wear pants?
And after almost 4 months of doing nothing?
Trust me… you want me to wear pants.
Ah, Spam. The miracle meat no one wants to eat.
Wait a minute….. do you think they could behind this whole thing?
The virus is a hoax engineered to make people eat 83 year old canned ham!
Or maybe….
It’s a canine revenge plot.
Either way, we’re stuck with it…
And it’s nice to see Maine stores still have a sense of humor.
Enough with the substitutes.
In the last three months I’ve seen pasta fly off the grocery store shelves.
Pandemic shopping fever has wiped them clean at times and all that was left were substitutes.
Kale linguini?
Not if my life depended on it.
Squash angel hair?
Thank you, no.
So imagine my horror when I saw this in the refrigerated section this morning.
Tofu fettuccine and spaghetti.
What fresh Hell is this!
I picked up a package and it felt like slimy rubber…. which is probably what it tastes like it as well.
Grocery store funnies.
Lately there’s always something photo worthy at the grocery store.
Since the viral apocalypse, I’ve been seeing weird things on the shelves. Every day items have been replaced with generic and no name brands.
And when it comes to no name brands?
You can’t get any more nameless than this toilet paper.
Not wasting money on advertising slogans here. No sir.
Another weird sight?
A line of products approved by a skinny earth friendly butcher.
Beefy flavored stroganoff?
I’ll pass.
Chickenless Buffalo chicken?
Nope. It’s all yours.
But at least the pad Thai had authentic rice noodles. Because there’s nothing worse than wannabe rice.
And okay, I get it…. vegans have to eat. But it always makes me chuckle the lengths they’ll go to to approximate the taste of meat. If they don’t want to eat animal flesh, fine. They can stuff themselves with kale. Heck, I’ll gladly give them my share.
But enough with the winking plant protein butcher.
He’s not fooling anyone.
CSA Week 3 and 4… because I forgot and you probably don’t care anyway.
Our half share of the 3rd CSA from our neighbor was a lovely assortment.
Swiss chard, white radishes, green leaf lettuce, carrots, mesclun mix, spinach, cucumber, basil and ….
What I thought was parsley.
But turned out to be chervil. If nothing else, I’m learning a lot about green things this summer.
With those fresh ingredients, it was spinach salad with apples, radish, mushroom and purple onion for dinner.
Yes, I like a little parm on top as well.
A bright berry mixed green salad was dinner the next night.
Week 4 saw the family we split with out of town, so we received the entire share.
And that’s a big bag of veg.
Zucchini, turnip, cucumber, mustard greens, parsley, carrots, mesclun mix, parsnip, spinach, lemon basil, butterhead lettuce and cilantro.
Not being fennel fans, we passed that and the dreaded cilantro off to a friend.
But ooh la la!
Fresh aromatic lemon basil meant from scratch marinade…
For delicious grilled chicken breasts that night.
Recipe below if anyone is interested.
Products worth a second look.
Does anyone need a banana phone?
No.
But buy one and save a gorilla just the same.
A must for Star Wars fanatics.
Yes James, I’m talking to you.
Cake.
On a stick.
Need I say more?
I’m not sure my bar game could possibly be more up, but bottles of gin are definitely my favorite DIY.
While I take umbrage at the horrible people designation (I’ve always thought of myself as just slightly awful) this is one seriously bawdy, provocative, risqué fun party game.
Does it surprise you to know I have all 6 expansion packs?
It shouldn’t.
So if you like raunchy, crude, earthy blue humor?
Give it a try.
Grill shopping.
The unthinkable happened last week.
Our beloved… and only 3 years old damn it… Weber grill died. Not wanting to spend a summer without one, we immediately went hunting for it’s replacement.
I wanted a small one without a side burner, so naturally all the husband looked at were large ones with side burners.
Ah, marriage.
Have you been grill shopping lately?
Holy crap!
I’ve paid less for cars.
Here’s the husband taking one for a test drive.
Literally driving it…. he spun it around a corner and had it up on 2 wheels.
Because Christ, at over a thousand dollars? That bastard better taxi us to the pub on its day off.
I found one I wanted.
Really wanted.
It came with wine!
But no. The husband dragged me to 5 other stores and ended up choosing one from Tractor Supply.
Large?
Oh yeah.
Much larger than we need, but it has stainless steel grates and radiant embers.
What the hell are radiant embers?
I have no idea….
But I bought some lovely filets and we’re going to find out tonight.
River's world..... 