Monthly Archives: December 2020

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And now we throw sharp objects at a wall.

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The man cave has a pool table.. and will soon be filled with beer.

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So naturally it needs sharp projectiles.

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And a regulation distance marker to stand behind when hurling them.

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Why not the sign we bought after we literally stood on the corner in Winslow Arizona?

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Dart board cabinet installation complete….

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The husband proceeded to kick my ass in our inaugural game.

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Yes, that’s a triple 20 pointer…. twice. But splitting the damn dart?

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No one likes a show off.

And during game number two?

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He did it again.

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Hell, after a toddy or two I’m lucky if I can hit the wall, no less aim for and hit the same spot.

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As evidenced by this shot that stuck in the floor.

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Cheers!

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Going, going… gone.

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Now that the man cave/ barn Mahal is starting to shape up? The husband wanted things out. My things that is.

Our old loveseat has been stored in there for years, and I was sad to see it go because it’s wicked comfortable and matched the walls quite well.

I voted for keeping it as you can never have too many comfy kick back with a beer or cocktail places to sit, but was instantly over ruled.

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The first person turned out to be the in-law of the man who stained our barn, so goodbye loveseat.

The next thing he made me get rid of was the driftwood tree. He’s been squawking about it’s removal for months now and no matter how much I tried to convince him it would be a unique addition to the barn decor?

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The minute I listed it? Three women were fighting over it. Guess I should have sold it instead.

So two of the things I wanted to keep were gone…. and guess what was added?

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A turkey foot that flips you off.

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This was a retaliation gift for the plaque I made the previous owner of the pool table after my husband beat him badly at the first game. They insisted the foot and plaque accompany the table…. so we’re now the proud owners of a petrified foot.

What do you want to bet we’re the only house on our block with one of those?

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Thank goodness for friends.

18 Comments

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When your ceiling looks like this?

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And your fireplace looks like this?

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You call in the cavalry.

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Or rather two friends who aren’t afraid of heights.

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Then you buy lots of this…

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And hope they can find the source of the leaks.

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A full day was spent searching, stripping, caulking and replacing shingles….

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In less than balmy weather.

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The view out my window was interesting at times :

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And 7 chilly hours plus one large spaghetti lunch later? They think they solved the problem…. but I guess time will tell.

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I should have known this was coming.

39 Comments

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The Barn Mahal is the gift that keeps on giving. It grows. It changes. It morphs into something I no longer recognize as a barn.

Why do I say this?

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Because last week my husband took me shopping for the next addition to his man cave extraordinaire.

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Yes.

He wants a refrigerator.

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And because he’s a man who demands instant gratification, he wanted to go home with it that day… which we quickly discovered was impossible. Thank you Covid 19…. yet another reason you suck.

All the refrigerators pictured on this blog, every last one of the small barn appropriate models that were on the display floor?

Unavailable.

It was enough to send us to our local pub for a drink… or two, and lunch.

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Which for me was a massive fried haddock sandwich with homemade onion rings. For the husband?

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A tool box and the light filtering blind we bought for the window we always sit in front of. The sun shines through it something fierce and we were tired of our bartender talking to us with his hand over his eyes.

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For this kindness we refused payment… support your local businesses!…but received 4 free drinks when the bill was presented.

A win win.

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And then it was back to the elusive we’ll show it to you but you can’t have it, neener neener refrigerator shopping.

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The absolutely only one anyone had in stock was this small, wonderfully inexpensive model.

The husband vetoed that. Not enough room for beer.

So we spent a fruitless day, visited 7 stores and ended up coming home to order this one online.

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Ample beer storage will be had…

But not for a week or two.

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Meanwhile back at the ranch…

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While all the frenzied work in the barn has been consuming my husband’s mind and time?

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This was happening inside our house.

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Yet another roof leak.

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We have walked the roof.

We have climbed into the attic.

We have replaced our chimney insert.

We have tarred, caulked, shingled, flashed and yes, swore repeatedly…. but still can’t figure out where it’s coming in.

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Back in ’94 before we owned the home, a bump out addition was added to the living room…

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And what I’m assuming is a load bearing beam… is where the rain always breaks through.

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It’s beyond aggravating.

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Not to mention ugly.

So back in the attic crawl space we went. Of course this means all the husband’s junk must be vomited from the den closet first.

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And there’s a lot of junk.

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Anyone need some slightly dated reading material?

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This time the attic investigation revealed two possible spots on the roof where water could be getting in. Husband is guessing 3 squares of shingles will have to be replaced. But winter is upon us, and it’s not going to be a pleasant task.

Wish us luck.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because laughing beats the alternative.

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Please. I’m begging you…

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Anal probe be damned. A day out is a day out.

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Thank you Hubert.

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How about we pee on everyone who refuses to wear one? That might change some minds.

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Run, chicken!

Run!

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Don’t laugh, by January this might be a reasonable option.

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Proof positive Covid is affecting everyone.

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He knows me so well.

17 Comments

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My Facebook page popped up with a memory that was fun to read the other day.

It was one of those silly quizzes… with a twist. Instead of answering the questions yourself, you ask the questions to your spouse/partner/significant other to see how well they know you.

If you want to see how my husband did, read on.

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1. What’s something I always say?

I‘m a font of useless knowledge.

He nailed that one, I say it all the time.

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2. What makes me happy?

I do.

Cheeky answer, but it’s true.

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3. What makes me sad?

Injured animals.

Very true.

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4. What’s my favorite thing to do?

Read.

He’s got me there. If I don’t have a book? I’m not a happy camper.

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5. What do I do when you’re not around?

Read.

Fair enough. I probably do.

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6. What makes you proud of me?

Everything.

Good answer. My man didn’t just fall off the turnip truck you know.

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7. What’s my favorite food?

Bread.

I might have to disagree with that, but it’s true I eat my fair share. And maybe your share… if you’re not paying attention.

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8. If I could go anywhere in the world, where would I go?

Scotland.

I’ve often spoken of my desire to see my father’s homeland, so yes.

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9. Do you think you could live without me?

No.

Smart man.

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10. How do I annoy you?

You prove me wrong too often.

And that… was my very favorite answer by far.

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So yes, after 36 years of marriage I’d say my other half knows me pretty damn well.

Can you say the same?

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The more things change…

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While the husband was busy Swiss cheesing his barn walls, I rummaged through the house looking for something my mother had given me many moons ago.

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It’s an odd little self published booklet from 1938 that was left to her by an old extremely wealthy boyfriend.

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To say it’s a scathing rebuke of Franklin Delano Roosevelt is an understatement.

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It positively skewers him and his policies.

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It was put together but a bunch of old money fat cats…

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And could be the Facebook or Twitter of it’s day.

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The more things change…

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The more they remain the same.

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Bathroom products you might need.

13 Comments

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Or might not. That’s entirely up to you.

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Don’t discount alternative toilet paper. When the next Covid wave of hoarding shoppers comes through you’re going to wish you had grandma’s old Sears catalog.

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Good grief! If you’re losing that much hair in the shower? Seek medical help not a drain blocker.

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Now isn’t that just special?

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In the current Covid climate? This is the equivalent of one upping your neighbor. To heck with building a wrap around porch and landscaping with exotic flora…. displaying 8 rolls of toilet paper means you’ve arrived.

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The blog where things are moved and hung.

35 Comments

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Since all the trim work was finished in the barn, it was time for a little decorating…. husband style.

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The old washing machine was slid across the floor.

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A few military helicopter pictures were hung.

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And of course….

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His favorite sign of all was prominently placed.

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Moving back inside….

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A second tier of shelves was built into every corner.

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And then it was time to go shopping upstairs.

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Apple press?

Check!

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Butter table?

Check!

And then my husband, the man who visibly cringes every time I put a nail hole in our walls….

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The man who has given me hell for each and every thing I have ever hung in our home…. decided this would be his I love me section and plans to fill it with photos and plaques while turning his barn walls into Swiss cheese.

I admit, I may have cackled at this point. The irony was simply too strong.

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