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Asteroid?
Nope.
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Rise of the mammals?
Uh uh.
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What really killed the dinosaurs?
This:
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The poor bastards were eating kale.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Timing is everything.
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And it’s always bad at Casa River.
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Yesterday morning I saw that rat bastard red squirrel.
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She was running all over our roof and gutter probably looking for a way back into the house.
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I chased her off with the broom, but 10 minutes later she was back. She hung around for another half hour or so and for once….
I wish she’d stayed a little longer.
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Well, hello there.
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Your timing was awful, but please come back another day.
I have multiple squirrel recipes to share.
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Products no one needs.
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While I’m all for pampering and spoiling our pets..
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No.
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Just, no.
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Bowzer’s manicure should not look better than mine… and look, even the dog hates it.
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I want to know who looked at their cat’s ass one afternoon and thought, ” Hey, that will make a great coloring book”.
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Mr. Whiskers is not amused.
And lastly, proof positive more isn’t always good… it’s just more.
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Hell, I think I’m slipping into diabetic coma just looking at that.
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Add seed.
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That’s what I need to do.
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Because my feeders empty as soon as I fill them.
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Everyone’s trying to lay on a little extra fat for winter.
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Except me. I’m not trying… but it’s there damn it.
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Critters eat me out of house and home this time of year.
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But that’s okay.
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I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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We’ve all been there.
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Epic fails in the kitchen. They usually happen when you’re having your MIL or the boss over for dinner.
So when I saw these online the other day? I had to share…
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Not even close.
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Funny, I’ve made this dish as well… but had no idea it was Italian.
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Recipes.
Sometimes they just like to screw with you.
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Ninja throwing apples!
I like.
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Oh, hell no!
That mouth. I just can’t…
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I’m all for making pets out of rocks, they’re so obedient. But this looks more like a creepy charcoal briquette.
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It’s official.
I will never eat sausage again.
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Giving them the bird.
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Today the turkeys beat the deer to the buffet.
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Come on mom, I’m hungry.
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Bambi wanted in.
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But was decidedly out numbered.
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Look at mommas face.
She is not pleased.
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But she gives in and tries to approach.
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Nope.
Even when Bambi runs at them they just scatter and regroup.
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Still hungry…
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Bambi finds an alternative source.
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Random drivel I have to share.
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For all my pun loving friends..
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Egg yolks…. they don’t always crack you up.
This next one literally made me snort.
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Admit it, you want one.
Or six.
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We passed this little cutie the other day on a back road.
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Perfume…. that smells like gin?
When I have a few too many I tend to spill it on myself. Think of all the time that will save.
And finally…
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Oh sweet Jesus, no.
First kale killed the dinosaurs… and now my tomato wants a piece of me?
Stop the world. I want to get off.
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Still in love!
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Yeah, yeah… still the husband. Soul mate, best friend, whatever.
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But today I’m talking about critters.
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Whimsical…
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Magical….
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Absolutely adorable….
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Little critters.
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Yes, even the pesky red squirrel.
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And the mice that make their winter nests in our garage.
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The fact that these creatures are ephemeral and disappear with the first gust of wind just makes it bittersweet.
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Products I think I have to buy.
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For blog fodder research purposes if nothing else.
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I’m guessing they meant to say bad mood, but either way …. a screaming goat seems like the perfect companion to ride out the rest of this abominable year.
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A book of delightful goat facts? Perfect.
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Screaming goat placement is everything.
And hey, when you already have a flying poop drone…. a screaming goat doesn’t even raise eyebrows.
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The other product I might have to buy?
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A carbonated bubbling face mask?
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Show of hands…. how many people want to see that selfie?
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Magazine musings…
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Since I’m still trying to plow through my massive stack of magazines, I have to share.
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Do we really need shoes that breathe? I don’t… but maybe that’s just me.
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I’m all for alternative leather products… eucalyptus? Cool. But if they come up with kale filled seats? I’m boycotting on sheer principle.
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According to this map temperatures are rising almost everywhere but it looks like me and my hot flashes are in the right place. Hang in there Maine! River melts into a puddle in anything above 75 degrees.
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If you’ve never had canned brown bread you haven’t lived a full life. This is a Maine staple, made in Portland, Maine… so why this article calls it Boston brown is a mystery. Moist and filled with molasses?
Try it. Your mouth will thank me.
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Dexter is coming back!
I don’t have Showtime anymore but might have to resubscribe in order to revisit my favorite serial killer.
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Ghost pepper strawberry frosting?
No.
Just no.
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River's world..... 