Remember I blogged about our neighbor giving us 3 free trees….
And the fact that he planted a row of 54 on his property across the street?
Well, yesterday…
He added a little something to those trees.
Okay a lot of something.
And it was quite…. how shall I say?
Pungent.
And their slightly off balance Facebook page.
Not off hand, no.
But I hope he finds one. Pigless is a terrible thing to be.
This picture of our local sheriff’s truck was posted by a resident.
Because really, who needs blue lights when you have a chicken?
This post was met with the incredulity and the scathing derision it deserved . Reveal your fiddlehead location? To a stranger!!
Mainers have been killed for less.
Fiddleheads are a precious ($15-$20 per pound) and extremely fleeting commodity in the spring. Locals protect their secret gathering spots like they do their virgin daughters. Personally I can’t stand the slimy things…
But Mainers go berserk for them.
And speaking of barely edible food, some well meaning townie posted this:
Now really, if I’m not going to eat the delicate unfurled leaves of a fern?
You can damn sure bet I’m not baking helicopter seed pods that look like bugs.
Damn.
The husband mowing the grass over the septic tank?
Not blog worthy.
But the husband mowing the grass over the septic tank with one arm because he’s done some kind of damage to his left shoulder and the appendage is hanging uselessly?
Relatively blog worthy.
It took me a week of him alternating ice packs and heating pads. A week of him moaning, groaning and being perfectly miserable before I could get him to the doctors for an exam and an X-ray.
Thankfully nothing was broken or dislocated. They said it might be muscle trauma, might be a pinched nerve. In other words they have no idea.
A weeks worth of Prednisone has helped a bit, but just when we were making baby barn headway….
It seems we’ll be looking at this a while longer.
I’m seriously beginning to think that building is cursed.
And once you read them you’ll realize how little you care…..
I’m sure you could have gone all day with out hearing that, but since I hate nuts anyway? It strengthens my resolve that peanut butter is disgusting.
Yeah.
Enjoy that sandwich now.
I dare you.
I had to do a little research on this one because I grew up adoring Ted.
Sadly, he’s wasn’t always the sweet cuddly children’s author we imagined.
But I still love the Lorax, sorry Helen.
Asbestos snow…
What could go wrong?
True.
And quite bizarre…
Well, we could all use a little more protein in our diets.
People are allergic to cochineal insects?
How would they know? I didn’t even realize there was such a thing.
Okay, I agree…. that really would have sucked.
And finally, because men aren’t filled with enough penile insecurities as it is.
Sorry guys.
Penis envy is a horrible thing.
P.S. ….. When I woke up and checked WP on my phone this morning? My reader preview made me do a double take.
Damn.
The porn spammers will be back any day now.
Alright, that’s a lie.
It’s just me snapping shots from the window. But that’s not a snappy title… so get over it.
Our fox is coming every night now.
And sometimes he/she brings a friend.
They’re such beautiful creatures.
And wonderful at keeping the mouse population under control.
As you can see from the bird feeders, it’s Baltimore Oriole time.
They’re gorgeous, but quick.
And catching a good shot is rare.
We put out oranges and grape jelly, which they adore.
Of course, so does everyone else.
A raccoon comes in at midnight and strips the jelly…
And this hairy woodpecker makes short work of the oranges.
Our resident chucker is still here.
Enjoying apples.
And salad scraps.
Life is good in my little corner of the world.
Unless it’s in a rent by the hour hot sheet motel? I don’t think anyone needs their bed to vibrate.
Just…. no.
If I’m not willing to eat kale? ( and I think we’ve established I’d rather have my toenails ripped off by a hungry wombat ) I doubt I’ll be spreading it on my face any time soon.
Well this is ridiculous.
Leftover chocolate. What’s that?
Proof positive there are a limitless number of kitchen gadgets waiting to collect dust in your cabinet.
Move over avocado hugger and ice cream ball. Spaetzle maker is in da house.
I have no idea if this works or not, but may I just say?
Eww.
When I first saw this I thought… nope, I’ll pass on the motivational self help crap.
Until I realized it could be filled with G&T’s or margaritas.
1:00pm took on a whole new meaning then.
Because really….
It’s like they made them with me in mind.
Think how handy they’d be if you’d had one too many.
Instead of stumbling over that seven syllable cocktail name you could just throw your foot up on the bar and point.
Yes.
I could totally rock those kicks.
Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Earring seems to be a favorite in the re-created art catalog.
For which I’m glad.
Though this next one does differ quite substantially from the original….
You have to applaud the commitment.
There.
Proof positive your mother was wrong when she said you’d never find a place to wear head to toe green.
Man with vacuum cleaner.
You know women will swoon over this.
Oh. My….
The less said about this the better!
Maybe I should rethink that title…. don’t need the porn spammers dropping by again.
Anyway, after we planted our free trees the other day we had to do something with this under performing flowering plum that was now ruining the alignment.
We planted 2 of these before the big barn construction began, but one died and the survivor gets eaten alive by Japanese beetles every year. I was all for heaving it, but the husband had other ideas.
When my mother died in 2014, she was cremated and I planted some of her ashes with a lovely tulip tree in our backyard.
It did well for 4-5 years until we had crazy late spring freezes and frosts that it couldn’t tolerate.
Since I planned to replace it this year? Husband decided to do a little transplanting.
I (very helpfully) told him we’d need a bigger hole since we were moving a mature 12 year old tree with an extensive root system. With this (ever so helpful) advice, he did what he always does….. and promptly ignored it.
Digging up the plum was an absolute nightmare. The roots were thick and deep and under the topsoil? Hard clay that might as well be cement.
Our farming neighbor offered to come over with his backhoe and scoop it right up, but no.
The husband didn’t want to tear up his lawn and went with the spiderweb approach to removal.
It took us approximately two hours of digging and tugging and even then we ended up chopping what had to be 10 foot long roots.
Whoever said gardening isn’t a workout needs to be bitch slapped.
This photo caught the other half gasping for air after the last pull.
I had serious doubts the hole out back was large enough, but away we went.
Yeah, not quite.
There was a lot of twisting. And turning. And laughing. ( Okay, that was just me. Husband didn’t find it the least bit amusing. )
Some quite inventive spiderweb root trench digging later……
He made it work.
Whether it survives is anyone’s guess.
Because if you don’t laugh, you’ll scream.
That’s the very definition of symmetry.
I can relate to this.
My bags are lonely… as well as heartbroken.
I’m not a religious person, but first plague…. now insects.
It’s mildly convincing, but I’m still holding out for water into wine.
Finally,
A protest I can get behind.
Well that’s depressing.
Because the answer to “what’s new?” has never been more boring.
River's world..... 