Tag Archives: facebook

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It’s almost unbearable.

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My little town’s FB page has been lighting up with some interesting sightings lately.

One woman kept posting but no one believed her.

Well….

 

 

I’d say that’s pretty definitive proof.

To be honest I’m surprised we’ve never had this issue. We’ve seen evidence of Yogi in our backyard and woods. (and even on the deck one winter. Yikes!)  But he’s never raided our feeders, for which I’m grateful.

They’re lovely creatures, but quite destructive.

The sightings continue…. which prompted this latest post.

 

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I’m down with that.

Hi Waldo!

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Because I have too much time on my hands this afternoon.

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If you have predictive text on your cell phone, grab it and let’s play.

Remember The Princess Bride movie?

No, I don’t either. But apparently there’s a quotable line from the film that goes like this….

 

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So a Facebook friend of mine tagged me to play the 2020 version.

Start texting My name is…..

You killed my….

Prepare to….

And let predictive text do the rest.

 

My results:

My name is not the big barn.  ( seriously, that’s what I got! )

You killed my husband and he didn’t even know.  ( it’s true he’s not very observant, but still. )

Prepare to be a little more than the kale.  ( I seriously hope I’m a lot more than that foul weed. )

Not kidding, that’s what it said.

 

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Apparently my iPhone is freakishly tuned in to my life.

Which if I stopped laughing, might make me a little worried.

 

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Because some things are strange enough for a second look.

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This popped up in my Facebook memories today and since I wasn’t blogging here 5 years ago?

I have to share.

 

 

As seen in Goodwill, a rubber chicken.

 

 

It was a dog toy, but a more wrong rubber chicken you’re not apt to find.

I suppose you could say they were singing…. but I’m afraid my mind went elsewhere.

And for a further chuckle?

Read the detailed description that came with them.

I dare you not to laugh.

“This rubber chicken is not any ordinary chicken, when you squeeze him he makes a loud screaming sound, it can help you relaxing your pressure and bringing you good mood. This squeaky rubber chicken will make a comical addition to your dog’s toy chest! Screaming sound when you squeeze it “Squeeze me when you are happy. I will make you and your friend laugh” “Squeeze me when you are not happy. I will help you relax” “My shrilling scream will let you have unexpected fun and entertainment, relax and release stress.” Once you have this funny scream chicken you can lose your press and became more smooth.”

 

So go on….. squeeze your chicken.

Hear him scream.

 

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I love my town….

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And their slightly off balance Facebook page.

 

 

 

Not off hand, no.

But I hope he finds one. Pigless is a terrible thing to be.

 

 

 

This picture of our local sheriff’s truck was posted by a resident.

Because really, who needs blue lights when you have a chicken?

 

 

 

 

This post was met with the incredulity and the scathing derision it deserved . Reveal your fiddlehead location? To a stranger!!

Mainers have been killed for less.

Fiddleheads are a precious ($15-$20 per pound) and extremely fleeting commodity in the spring. Locals protect their secret gathering spots like they do their virgin daughters. Personally I can’t stand the slimy things…

 

 

 

But Mainers go berserk for them.

And speaking of barely edible food, some well meaning townie posted this:

 

 

 

Now really, if I’m not going to eat the delicate unfurled leaves of a fern?

You can damn sure bet I’m not baking helicopter seed pods that look like bugs.

Damn.

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Ars Gratia Artis.

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Art for Art’s Sake.

Noble words, but do they apply to off color road graffiti?

Let’s ask the woman in my town who discovered a piece of art and posted it on Facebook….

 

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Well, yes.

That is a rather large  skin flute, dipstick, tallywacker, schlong,  piece of art.

And apologies for the photo censorship, it wasn’t me.

I’d never deface someone’s  Johnson, knob, love muscle, trouser monkey,  creative expression that way.

I did however get a kick out of the comments on this post.

 

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Of course.

That’s what I thought when I first saw it as well.

 

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I’d always been told size doesn’t matter.

Clearly,  that was wrong.

 

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Butterfly?

That’s sweet, if mildly disturbing.

 

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And yes, considering the size and scope of it?

That’s probably sound advice.

 

 

 

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I love my town…. Part 7.

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It’s time to take a look at my local Facebook page again.

And when I did, I realized how critter-centric it’s been lately.

 

 

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Goats were on the loose again.

 

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And apparently craving pumpkin pie.

 

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This was a bit disturbing.

It’s not often someone is actively seeking deer guts, even around here.

 

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Makes you wonder what this poor guy did.

“…for whatever purpose you would like.” probably doesn’t bode well for that bird.

 

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And speaking of Sunday dinner –

 

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As much as I’d like to come home to a nice meal, the thought of letting a stranger into my kitchen to cook seems a bit odd.

They might find that fuzzy, 11 month old spear of asparagus that got pushed to the back of the fridge… and that’s bound to be embarrassing.

And lastly, there was some news on the crime beat.

 

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Duck theft.

Because sometimes people can’t help themselves.

 

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I love my town…. Part 6.

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Time for an update on the stories making the news on my town’s Facebook page.

Traffic jams are awful, no two ways about it…..

But in my town?

 

 

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They’re not always bumper to bumper.

 

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And then there was this:

 

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No, damn it! I did not.

We’ve lived here over 17 years and the only moose I’ve seen was a dead one on I-95.

Trotting right down Main Street?

 

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Another missed opportunity.

And finally, there was this:

 

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My first thought was the zombie fish apocalypse had begun… and I started to get a little nervous.

But it turns out a bald eagle was fishing the river, dropped his sturgeon while flying and decided to munch on it in situ.

 

 

Because the thought of zombie fish taking over my blog?

Not cool.

 

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I love my town… Part 5.

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It’s time to take a look at the riveting happenings posted on my town’s FB page again.

 

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There are the usual missing critter reports.

 

 

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Though pigs have taken a back seat to birds this week.

 

 

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Snakes are actively being sought.

 

 

 

 

As are nuts.

 

 

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*Note to male readers – I do not support the crushing of nuts between your legs. No letters, please.*

Artful pumpkins are being carved…

 

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And grapes are plentiful.

 

 

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Syrup is available.

 

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As are extremely round sheep.

 

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Then there’s the woman who wants everyone to watch a program about garbage.

 

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Garbage…

 

 

 

You’re doing it wrong.