Tag Archives: humor

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Super Bowl food horrors.

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If you’re not familiar with the tradition , every year Google releases a map of the most popular Super Bowl food searches by state.

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Being game day, I’m posting this helpful hint of what not to eat while watching Mahomes take Brady down a peg. Maine clicked in with traditional nachos, but some other states seem to have lost their minds.

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Vermont went a different route. But then again, they usually do.

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Oh, hell no Nebraska.

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This just keeps getting worse.

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Jesus. Do people not know how to snack anymore?

Chia seed at the Super Bowl. WTF!

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Time Traveler

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After reading a friend’s post a few days ago ( Hi Grace! ) I followed her lead and searched for the new words that were added to the dictionary the year I was born.

( Yes smart asses, they had dictionaries back then. The stone tablet pages were just harder to turn. )

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Let’s take a look shall we?

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I admit to having to look up anxiolytic…. which was stressful and might make me reach for one.

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Being the last year of the boomers, I was surprised to see it took that long for the phrase to be admitted.

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Baggie and banana seat? Both of those were featured prominently in my formative years…. and for completely different reasons.

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I only got halfway through the definition of bioturbation.

When I came to the defecation of sediment grains part? I figured I’d heard enough.

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But damn, call forwarding and call waiting? I don’t want to be blamed for those.

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And then there were shelves.

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Along with the 120 year old reclaimed barn wood chairs came 120 year old reclaimed barn wood shelves. Problem was the side you’re supposed to display was so dark it looked awful against the light walls and didn’t blend with the bar or chairs.

Solution? We flipped them upside down.

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And installed the railroad spike brackets.

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Talk about rugged! These shelves could hold an elephant…. but if you see a pink one wandering around, I’m shutting you off.

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Bottles were brought from the house for proper spacing.

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And then came the disagreement.

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I have a lot of bottles, which is why I had 4 shelves made.

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But now the husband only wants 2 on this side instead of the planned 3.

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When you’re mixing cocktails, variety is key.

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And I can’t put another one on the opposite side because, you know… short people.

I have more bottles that need a home. Stay tuned..

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Learn something new everyday.

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So I had to buy it.

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Because our weekly Scrabble games demanded it… and I’m tired of the husband getting mad when I tell him his word doesn’t exist.

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Hornito is a mound of volcanic matter?

I always thought it was a tequila.

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I admit to not knowing recta was the plural of rectum… and won’t comment on its proximity to the word rectory.

Nope. Not going there.

And speaking of Jesus…

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All this was fascinating but I draw the line here.

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Grr should not be an acceptable Scrabble word.

And grrrl?

Apparently it references a feminist punk rock movement in the Northwest called Riot Grrrl.

I call foul. And despise common usage additions to dictionaries.

P.S. don’t tell my husband.

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Chairs are a beautiful thing.

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And we’re so in love with ours right now I fear they’ll be occupying blog space for a while.

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Do you know how nice it is to actually be able to sit at our bar?

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Trust me, after weeks of standing? It’s seriously nice.

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And yes, I admit a fair amount of alcoholic beverages have been consumed in the short time we’ve owned them.

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Note to self – clear off magnetic bottle opener before guests arrive.

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Ah….

Chairs.

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And then we got the call.

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The call that we’d been waiting 7 weeks for finally came.

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And we headed down to the workshop in Biddeford to pick up our custom made bar chairs.

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It was an awful morning, snow showers at our house and rain farther south.

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So I was bound and determined our haul was going to be tightly secured and fully covered for transport.

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These babies are heavy, so when we got home the husband had to haul them all out to the Man Cave.

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Made from 120 year old reclaimed Vermont barn boards, no two are the same.

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At first the husband was upset they didn’t all match perfectly, but that’s what I love about them.

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And they may not look it, but they’re quite comfortable.

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So yes, an inaugural beer was poured. At 10:45 am.

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And consumed while seated. Don’t judge…

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Though why the darn man wasn’t smiling I have no idea. He really was happy, but I guess you’ll have to take my word on that.

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They keep on coming.

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Because the ball wash ads weren’t bad enough.

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Now I’m seeing this on my Facebook feed.

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Butt incense and polite bacteria?

Sorry, I find them both rude.

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Oh, look. Bright colors and assorted flavors.

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My privates do indeed go everywhere I go (except my uterus which I left at the hospital 5 years ago) but they will continue to go without butt incense for the foreseeable future.

Of this I’m sure.

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