Tag Archives: nature

When I die….

 

My epitaph shall read:

Here lies River

She was swallowed by a quince bush.

 

 

 

This is the bush from Hell that lives and multiplies like a rabbit on our property.

 

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Every fall we wack it down to a manageable level, and every spring it comes back with a vengeance.

 

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Yes, the blooms are lovely.

 

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And yes, the bumblebees enjoy it.

 

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Pardon the bee butt shots. Apparently they’re camera shy.

 

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But damn.

It’s only June and the pink spawn of Satan is already reaching the roof line.

 

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So if I should disappear this summer?

Grab a machete and come get me….

 

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It’s already got three window exits blocked.

 

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I fear the doors are next.

 

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Did you know…

 

In 1700’s London, you could purchase insurance against going to Hell?

Proof positive there’s a policy for everything.

 

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And yes, it’s that time again.

 

 

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President Andrew Jackson’s parrot Poll cursed so loudly during his master’s funeral he had to be removed.

Parrots…

You never know what the little bastards will do.

 

 

The LEGO company was founded in Denmark in the 1930’s.

It’s name is an abbreviation for the words leg godt which mean “play well”.

 

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A crocodile’s tongue is attached to the roof of it’s mouth so it doesn’t accidentally bite it when snapping down on prey.

 

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There is a canine condition known as Frito Feet.

It’s a bacterial foot infection that smells like corn chips.

Sorry Fido.

 

 

 

In ancient Greece women counted their age from the day they were married.

This works for me.

I’m 35.

 

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The Hawaiian alphabet only contains 12 letters. Five vowels and seven consonants.

You’d think that would make spelling their names easier, but it doesn’t.

 

 

The most common name for a goldfish in America is Jaws.

 

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They’re a wee bit confused.

 

I put birdseed out for the birds….

 

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Which the deer eat.

 

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I put apples out for the deer….

 

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Which the woodchucks eat.

 

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Granted, they’re cute as all get out when they do…

 

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But do they have to eat the deer grain as well?

 

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Sometimes they climb right in the bowl and polish it off.

Which leads the deer to eat…

 

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It’s a vicious circle.

And proves that our backyard creatures are a little confused.

Like this Baltimore Oriole….

 

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Who tries to drink from the hummingbird feeder.

 

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Yes, you.

 

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The owner of this house spends a small fortune keeping you in fresh oranges and grape jelly…. don’t get greedy.

Of course….

This guy?

 

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Eats whatever…

 

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And whoever he wants.

 

 

 

Have you ever gotten so sidetracked you forgot where you started?

 

I was at Wal Mart the other day and decided to cruise down the clearance aisle. I don’t often shop there, but clearance racks are like thrift stores. You never know what you’ll find.

I found this:

 

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I chuckled. I photographed it. I came home, started to write a blog and thought…..  come on.

How often does corn need to wear a coat?

 

 

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Fair enough… if not slightly disturbing.

Proof positive there’s a Google Image for everything.

And then I saw –

 

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Which is definitely disturbing.

Corn porn?

WTH!

And of course that got me thinking of that damned corn on the cob dildo I found on Amazon a while back, which lead me to –

 

 

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Make of that what you will.

Google Images has a mind of it’s own.

But thinking about disturbing corn also made my mind go here –

 

 

 

Oh, yeah.

Stephen King’s Children of the Corn.

A camp classic.

But not the only strange corn…

 

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And that made me remember Corn Stonehenge.

 

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Yes, it really exists.

Dublin, Ohio

Maybe it’s supposed to be ironic, this former corn field, sprouting 109 people-sized ears of concrete corn in a large oddball art display. But it’s also a salute to Sam Frantz, an inventor of hybrid corns, and a very weird sight along the highway.

Frantz farmed this site from 1935 to 1963, using it as as a study field for tasty mutant strains. Frantz was “well known for his development of hybrid corn seeds,” and worked with Ohio State University on hybridization projects. He donated this land, now named Sam and Eulalia Frantz Park, after its farming days were over.

 

Field of Corn.

 

The artist brought in by the Dublin Arts Council to create the environment of corn, Malcolm Cochran, completed the field in 1994.

Intended by the Arts Council to remind residents of the area’s long-gone agricultural heritage, the Field of Corn instantly became a joke — giant inedible food — paid for with tax dollars, and surrounded by a sprawl of corporate offices, bland businesses and suburban neighborhoods.

 

 

And now, I totally want to go and take a corn selfie.

 

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(Admit it… you do too.)

But if that isn’t enough corn cuteness for you?

 

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Here’s a capybara.

In a pool.

Eating corn.

Just because I can.

From Wal Mart’s clearance aisle to giant rodents eating corn.

That’s the very definition of sidetracked.

 

Anyone want a cuppa?

 

I read an article the other day about one of the world’s most expensive teas.

Yes, tea.

Those lovely little leaves you drop into hot water and steep.

 

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Pure ambrosia….

As long as it’s not the dishwater my MIL used to drink.

 

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If you’re drinking tea? For God’s sake, drink tea.

I love tea, and am always intrigued to try a new one.

Except the one I read about the other day. It was called PET, short for Panda Ecological Tea. This particular tea sells for $200 a cup….. and if that’s not enough to frighten you away, the fact that’s it’s grown in China and is fertilized entirely with panda poo should be.

Apparently pandas poo 40 – 50 times a day, so I’m guessing supply isn’t an issue.

 

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Grown high in the Ya’an mountainous region of Sichuan China, the panda manure tea—or Panda Ecological Tea (PET) by its formal name—is said to be smooth, and offer health benefits because of the way that pandas digest bamboo in the wild—which leaves around 70% of the nutrients in their dung, not their bodies.

 

Panda manure has also been shown to carry bacteria that break down organic waste more effectively than any other known source. One experiment showed that the bacteria broke 100 kilograms of waste down into 3 kilograms after only a 17 week period, with only carbon dioxide and water byproducts. Researchers think that there is a market for this organic compound capable of reducing waste by 96%, but whether or not organic tea at $200 per cup is the answer, is questionable.

 

Questionable?

Probably.

Although you can’t fault the marketing campaign….

 

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It’s simply delightful.

And while I was researching this topic?

 

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I stumbled across another panda poo product…

 

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A new type of luxury facial tissue made with recycled Panda feces is set to be launched in China.

The bizarre product, called “Panda poo,” will retail at for $6.54 a box, ten times the price of ordinary tissue paper.

Addressing concerns of skeptics who may find it unhygenic to wipe their faces with feces, Zhou said that there are many processes in place to ensure the product is ready for consumption. After washing and streaming, the paper will be sterilized in high temperatures.

 

Panda poo.

Who knew it was so versatile?

 

Good news, bad news.

 

Good news?

Our visiting Kestrel is back…

 

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And he brought a friend…

 

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(Apologies for the photo quality, I was at the utter limits of my zoom lens)

 

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They’re such pretty little things, and I enjoyed watching them fly around the yard all morning.

Until I heard a thump…

And looked out the window.

 

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Yeah.

 

 

Not for the dove anyway.

 

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Kestrels will be Kestrels.

 

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But it would have been nice if he’d finished his meal and not left me the pieces and parts clean up detail…

 

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As well as a blood stained lawn.

Okay, granted… it could be worse.

 

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But still….

 

 

 

 

Oh dear…. more deer.

Since the little darlings have been raiding my bird feeders of late, I thought I’d put out more deer feed and a few chopped apples for them as a treat.

Apparently this went over quite well.

 

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So well…

They called in the cavalry.

 

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Note to self –

 

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Buy more feed.

This is better than cable.

 

 

Well, almost.

 

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Yes.

There really is a Game of Thrones meme for every subject.

 

(Disclaimer- this post was scheduled incorrectly and is appearing 2 weeks later than planned, hence the brown lawn. )

That’s just rude.

 

It’s finally spring in Maine.

The temperatures are warming, the grass is greening and the deer in our backyard are spoiled rotten brats.

 

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We put out a few bowls of grain and chopped apples in the late afternoon and enjoy watching them stroll leisurely up from the woods.

 

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Yes, I’m talking about you.

So imagine my surprise the other day as I was taking pictures…..

And this one stuck his tongue out at me.

 

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How’s that for appreciation?

 

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Yeah, you.

 

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Hey now…

 

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Cut it out!

 

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Don’t give me that look.

 

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Cheeky little bugger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you fill it, they will come.

 

We watch the birds here at Casa River.

 

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Lots and lots of birds.

We also feed the birds.

Which brings all manner of beasts to our backyard to eat what falls on the ground…

On any given day you can see woodchucks, chipmunks, skunks, raccoons, squirrels, and fox.

 

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During the cold winter months, the birds eat me out of house and home.

I fill and fill and fill those feeders but their appetites seem to know no bounds.

But lately….

I’ve noticed the seed levels were dropping at an alarming rate.

In mere hours multiple feeders were stripped clean.

 

 

Ah.

That explains it.

(Photos and video taken 2 weeks ago. Even Maine is greening up by now.)