The D word.

 

It’s four evil letters…

And I dread it like the plague.

 

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But the time has come.

Entering my 50’s, a hysterectomy forced menopause and long Maine winters have taken their toll and I swear I don’t even recognize myself when I look in a full length mirror.

Alright, yes.

Bacon may have had a little something to do with it.

 

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So now I’m eating healthy.

I’ve given up bacon, and cheese, and gravy, and bread, and chocolate and all those other wonderful things that make life worth living.

 

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I’m back on the treadmill for 2 or 3 sessions a day…. panting, sweating and realizing how horribly out of shape I’ve become.

And believe me when I say I hate exercising.

Really f*ing  hate it.

 

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I’m not enjoying the process, but I’m down 14 lbs…. and that’s rewarding.

What’s not rewarding is that I can’t even tell the difference. And that, my friends…. is a sure sign you’re overweight.

I mean damn… shouldn’t my clothes be falling off me by now?

 

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It’s been 5 weeks of abstinence…

(No, not that kind. I’m overweight, not crazy.)

In a perfect world, I lose another 30lbs. But I’m not holding my breath for miracles. The older we get, the harder it is to lose and at this point I’d be happy to just fit into some of my old clothes again.

So, give a girl a hand. If you have any dieting tips or tricks? I’m all ears…

And hips.

And thighs.

And boobs…

 

 

actual footage of my treadmill motivation

 

 

 

 

 

It’s that time again…

 

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I hadn’t checked my spam folder in a while and boy, was it bursting.

Let’s take a look.

We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our entire community will be thankful to you.

This was interesting since it was posted on my blog about Woodstock. If the new scheme of their community is peace, love and drugs?

They’re a little late.

 

 

Right here is the right site for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You understand a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I actually would want to…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject which has been written about for many years. Great stuff, just wonderful!

This was on my post about baby woodchucks.

And while I appreciate the compliment, I wasn’t aware the subject had been written on that extensively.

 

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I like this site, it’s a master peace !

Clearly this spammer enjoyed my post about the Red Rocks of Sedona, and who could blame him? Shame he doesn’t know how to spell…

 

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I am glad for writing to make you understand of the incredible experience my wife’s princess experienced browsing your web page. She even learned so many things, which included how it is like to have an incredible teaching spirit to have the mediocre ones completely know just exactly a number of advanced topics. You truly did more than people’s desires. Thank you for producing the priceless, dependable, revealing and even fun guidance on the topic to Janet.

 

Janet is quite welcome. I constantly strive to do more than people’s desires with my advanced topics and am thrilled to be recognized. Please give the princess my regards.

I imagine she looks something like this:

 

 

Hello there! This article couldn’t be written much better!
Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
He constantly kept preaching about this. I will send this
article to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a great read.
Many thanks for sharing!

One has to wonder who this spammer’s previous roommate was and why he constantly preached about the Suc It product I blogged about.

Best or worse? You decide…

 

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And finally there’s this one, which was a little too spot on… even for me.

It was posted on my previous blog about spam:  Monty Python and Spam….

 

Thanks for sharing such an awesome information with us.

Learn the world leading technology from the best industry certified Professionals of python training in bangalore who can help you to learn the technology from scratch to advanced level.

 

Pythons for Monty Python.

Well….

They were close.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can I get an oohrah?

 

As most of you know, my husband is a Marine. (And as I learned many moons ago, once a Marine always a Marine…. hence the is, even though he retired from the Corps years ago)

Being a Marine means being inundated with Marine Corps stuff. Newsletters, fliers, reunion notices, junk mail and catalogs… like this:

 

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Sgt. Grit appears in our mailbox on a regular basis because I made the mistake of ordering something for the husband from them online. I usually chuck it, but was bored the other day and started flipping through it.

 

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OOHRAH!!

The beloved Marine Corps grunt that I’ve never managed to perform to my husband’s satisfaction. This may have something to do with the fact that I sound more like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman than Chesty Puller…..

 

 

And that’s Army. A big no no in this house.

(A little history below for those who care…. though my husband would tell you he’s not doing it correctly either)

 

 

The catalog has all the usual USMC geegaws and gifts…

 

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As well as those oh so subtle tee shirts young men love to wear….

 

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Thankfully my husband hates those.

He lived it, and doesn’t feel the need to advertise.

There are knives…

 

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And Ka Bar sporks.

 

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For those days at Kentucky Fried Chicken when plastic just won’t do.

 

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And now you can, for a mere $12.99

You’re welcome.

There are items for children…

 

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And good God, there are even Marine Corps gnomes.

 

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But it was the ladies section that made me choke.

Because even when I had the figure (way back when) to wear these?

No.

Just no…

 

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Babies can be annoying.

 

Let’s face it, there’s going to be a weekly baby barn update for the duration of the deconstruction/construction.

Which, at this point…. I figure will end sometime between  Jesus, isn’t it done yet?  and   If I have to pry one more splinter out of my hand, I’ll shoot myself in the head and call it good.

Walls.

 

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If you’re an immigrant during this administration? Not Good.

 

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If you’re a rotting baby barn circa 1974?  Very good.

 

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Here’s a pic of the husband using his vintage (what feels like 50lb) saw.

You’ll notice he’s hunched over and applying pressure. That’s because the damn thing shimmies like a tilt a whirl on crack and might fly apart if you don’t.

 

 

Walls.

 

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They’re a good thing. But sometimes…

 

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You see where I’m going with this?

 

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From the outside all looks well.

 

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From the inside, things went a little squirrelly on the right.

Crooked?

 

little bit

 

Do we care?

We do not.

 

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Do we wait for the wife to bring the dust pan during clean up?

 

 

So, another weekend done.

Another section framed and ready for siding.

 

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Did I mention that the husband’s plan of starting at the halfway point on the front and working his way around makes it look a bit odd?

 

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Rather like a schizophrenic.

Perhaps I shall name her Sybil….

Well, that’s a new one.

 

As you know…. my husband has a habit of coming home from the dump with more than he went with.

But this week?

I think he even surprised himself.

We’d been working on the baby barn and the truck was full of rotted wood.

 

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Our local recycling center won’t take it because it was painted, which means a 40 minute trip to a solid waste disposal site. He came back with an empty truck….

And this:

 

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Yeah.

A 2005 BMW.

Did we need another one? No.

 

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And come on, you know owning two BMW’s is twice as obnoxious as owning one.

Why did he buy another one?

Because it was clean…

 

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Had low mileage for it’s age…

And the little old lady that owned it treated it like a child.

 

 

I really have to stop letting him go to the dump alone.

 

*Disclaimer – technically he didn’t get this at the dump, just found it at a house along the way.  Hell, if he’d found it for free at the dump… I wouldn’t be complaining.*

 

 

 

 

 

More random critters.

 

The photo files need purging again so…

 

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Mother woodchuck and her last baby.

The other 3 have taken off for parts unknown.

 

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And I get the feeling this final child isn’t the brightest bulb in the pack.

 

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Someone needs to tell him we eat from the bowl, not sit in it.

 

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Or lie in it for that matter.

 

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Our beautiful buck is back.

 

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Which makes me nervous as it’s hunting season.

 

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Fingers crossed no one breaks up his family.

 

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This little devil was perched on the feeder bar waiting for an unsuspecting meal the other morning…

 

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I saw feathers on the lawn later in the day, so mission accomplished.

 

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The flies have been thick for the past few days and target the deer mercilessly.

 

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It’s my opinion this doe was sticking her tongue out at the flies…

And not the photographer.

Finally, who needs video games….

 

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When you’ve got real live angry birds right on the back lawn?

 

 

Do you Duluth?

 

For those not familiar with Duluth Trading Post…. it’s a clothing store with rather humorous commercials.

 

 

I say rather, because men usually get a bigger kick out of them than women.

 

 

Seeing that the subject matter is somewhat….. gender exclusive.

I’ve never had reason or opportunity to shop at Duluth, but recently a store opened in South Portland and my girlfriend wanted to go see what all the fuss was about.

Aside from some overpriced  ( $38 for a plain t shirt? I think not ) and under-styled clothes?

There were these:

 

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An entire section of stupid products.

 

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With a decided bent toward what you do in the bathroom.

 

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Color me unimpressed.

Although I did chortle at these…

 

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Because they reminded me of that horrible gynecologist I had who always asked me how things were “down there”.

Thankfully she lost her license to practice.

But who knows?

She might work for Duluth now….