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Finally…. my Facebook algorithm gets me.
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After weeks of revolting ball wash and genital deodorant ads, this….
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Canned mules…. and a margarita mule at that.
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And then?
They really nailed it.
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Chicken fashion.
Now that’s more like it…
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I love my town… part whatever.
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Haven’t done one of these in a while, so I thought it was time to check my small town’s FB page.
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The ultimate in tree repurposing. Goats!
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The old fashion trade and barter system is alive and well in my town. I have a neighbor who had his garage built with nothing but beer.
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Girl Scout cookies are the new crack. Those little bitches give you a free sample and you’re hooked.
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Sorry bud, someone left it in ours as well.
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That is perfectly evil. And I love it!
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Poor piner. Hope he was alright…
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Weed is the answer.
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The question – How do you get your new adopted kitty to relax?
The answer – Weed. Or as close to chronic as our 4 legged furry friends can get.
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Five days in – the recent addition to the family had been slowly acclimating to our house and routines… but he was still running under the bed or behind the couch every time we made noise.
Enter the catnip pouch.
I should have thought of this sooner… because now?
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We have one very chill feline.
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Pandemic humor.
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Because laughing beats crying any old day.
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Damn. I wish I’d been in a coma.
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Buy a ridiculously expensive cat bed? The cat will prefer the box it came in every time.
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This is very true. Maybe four… tops.
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I’ll drink to that!
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I try to do mine. No matter how strongly I disagree with the ignorant f*cktards.
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You’re welcome already.
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I can honestly say I’ve never felt so utterly appreciated for purchasing a product before this package arrived yesterday.
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The box told me I was helping hungry children.
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And that I was awesome.
I already knew this, but positive reinforcement never hurts.
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The inner paperwork thanked me.
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And told me again how awesome I was.
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It went on to explain that my one little bottle of ground rosemary (because the husband refuses to eat fresh… it’s too prickly. 🙄) fed one needy child.
I hope it’s true.
I’m choosing to believe it’s true, because if it’s not… I’d have to reconsider my awesomeness, and that’s not happening.
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The rosemary was quite good so I may order from them again.
But I seriously doubt it will be this…
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Tofu.
Smells like sweaty feet… and tastes even worse.
🤢
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Products no one needs.
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A list of gifts to give your friends. If you don’t ever want them to speak to you again that is….
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Repeat after me, ” I will not buy River a dog’s ass pillow for her birthday or Christmas. Not now. Not ever. ”
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Seriously? Like I don’t have enough guilt reaching for those two extra slices of cheese as it is.
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Why.
Why in the world would anyone want to walk around in a baguette? I’ve been to France and had them fresh from the boulangerie. They are made to sop up sauce, be covered in jam or smothered in cheese… not your nasty foot funk.
That’s a hard no from me.
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Because sometimes bigger really is better.
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Since skunking my husband at Scrabble has become a weekly pastime… I decided to up our game.
Literally.
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Bigger tiles for the where the hell did I leave my reading glasses now? visually challenged due to encroaching decrepitude crowd.
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And a much bigger, fancier, wooden, swiveling board with raised ridges to keep the letters in place.
How much bigger?
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Well, the box said giant and that’s a pretty apt description.
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So far we’re loving it.
But I’m afraid it’s going to have to be a permanent decorative fixture… because if you think the board is big, you should see the friggin’ enormous box it came in.
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Time Traveler Part 2.
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More words from the year of my birth.
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Clearly I was born in a strange year.
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Consigliere?
‘Leave the gun, take the cannoli’ Best movie quote… ever.
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Cryoprobe.
I don’t know what it’s used for, but my sphincter is tightening just thinking about it.
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Delete key. Now we’re talking! I’ve been correcting my husband’s reports and letters for 37 years… it is my very favorite button.
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Diddly squat. A strange turn of phrase if ever there was one.
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We’re gaining.
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Two full days in and we managed to get the new kitty out from under the china hutch.
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Granted it was just to under the coffee table, but that’s progress.
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I don’t think he was thrilled to have a close up portrait taken, but I’ve got news for him. You can’t be camera shy and live in this house. Momma’s got a blog to write.
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At the end of the third day he made it out into the open.
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And he really is a love bug once he feels comfortable.
I think it’s going to be a good fit, he just needs a little time.
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It’s all about priorities.
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Last week during the N’Or Easter, the husband went out to shovel before it turned over to sleet.
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He shoveled a path to the man cave.
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He shoveled the man cave porch for bar access.
But the driveway?
It looked like this.
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Priorities.
It’s all about priorities.
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River's world..... 