Tag Archives: humor

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Recent additions to the Barn Mahal.

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After thoroughly whipping my other half in a marathon Scrabble session in the barn last weekend, I took a good look around.

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And realized what an amazing storage building filled with absolute crap ….

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To seriously alcohol–centric man cave transformation we had wrought.

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Yay us.

And to this glorious rustic palace of play? I added a few new things.

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Because if there was ever a more perfect place for my fully operational spastic poop drone… I don’t know where it could be.

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To the bar, I added an acrylic box of appropriately themed cocktail napkins.

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Each more true than the last.

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Alongside the napkins there are now swizzle sticks.

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Some are shaped like twigs in honor of their origin.

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And some are shaped like jazz hands… because it’s just delightfully creepy.

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And since no man cave with a bar should be without them?

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Hair spray and a comb to repair follicle damage the walk from our wind blown house wreaks on my unruly tresses.

And if you’re cringing over that addition gentlemen?

Viola!

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I also added a plant.

Granted, it’s a just small succulent…. but I believe my eventual takeover of the premises is progressing quite nicely.

😈

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Flotsam and jetsam.

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A little bit of this and that for your reading pleasure.

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I really don’t want crabs, but human sized rubber claws are mighty tempting.

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I have to admit I had no idea what the term whisker biscuit meant.

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Well, okay then….

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Underboob funk?

Please, if you can spread this ridiculous product all over your body? How about spreading those ‘ly’ adverbs through your ad copy as well.

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That’s pretty much my take on it. And while I still love Seuss and the crazy creatures of my childhood, if you do your research and check out some of his racist drawings? You wouldn’t want children exposed to them either. It’s not erasing history, it’s learning not to repeat it.

And if that’s too serious a note to end on, here’s one more chuckle.

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Ponder that image for the rest of the day.

🤣

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Pandemic humor.

18 Comments

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Because there must be something left to laugh about these days.

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Hey, I don’t blame them a bit.

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I’m hoping this isn’t real.

I truly am.

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Postponed? After a year of non stop cooking ( not to mention barn drinking ) and 4 months of forced couch potato status with a bad knee….. I’m going with cancelled until further notice.

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If you haven’t watched the whole thing, take a few minutes. It totally cracked me up. And made me feel like a total Covid slacker.

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When you have a little too much fun with vegetables.

9 Comments

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A woman from my town posted this the other day after visiting our neighbor’s farm stand across the street.

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And I had to laugh.

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Because it was totally something I would do.

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Hell, we brought an anatomically correct eggplant to our local pub last year.

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Needless to say it was a big hit.

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And oddly enough, is still talked about fondly.

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I’ve plugged a lot of things into my computer, but never a tuna.

23 Comments

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This has got to be the most bizarre cat toy ever.

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And while I have to admit plugging a fish into my computer does hold a certain attraction….

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I think it’s safe to say the minute that fish started flapping Lord Dudley would run for the hills.

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But damn, look how joyful it made this particular feline.

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Should we further contemplate why this cat is so deliriously happy to have a vibrating tuna on his lap?

I think not.

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Because alcohol makes great desserts.

15 Comments

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I found these tasty treats in the grocery store bakery section.

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And seeing that they were alcohol laden, you know I had to try them.

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The Captain rarely disappoints, and even in cake form he was quite yummy. Moist and spicy, it had a pleasing apple pie autumn in New England vibe.

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This wasn’t my favorite of the three, but it still had a nice pound cake richness.

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But if you love beer, this is the cake for you. The simple act of opening the wrapper released an instant heady aroma of hoppy goodness. Deep, dark and chocolatey like a good stout should be…. this dessert was a winner.

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More beauty is in the eye of the beholder adoptees.

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The World Wildlife Fund’s symbolic adoption continues.

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Cute candidates abound but you know this fellow will be left out in the cold.

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No one will want to cuddle up with him on the couch. That dude needs a serious manicure.

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Honey Badgers get a bad rap and sure, they’ve been known to viciously kill humans… but I’d still rather adopt one of them than Honey Boo Boo.

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Most people find condors to be ugly birds, but come on…. he’s rocking that feather boa. It’s not an easy look to pull off.

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And finally there’s the wombat, a much maligned creature. Sure he poops square cubes and has a two pronged penis….. but hey, none of us is perfect.

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So attractive.

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After a nightmarish week of battling Direct TV customer service and their bots, an hour long phone conversation with “Susie” from Bangalore, an hour and a half long conversation with “Susie’s” supervisor “Jimmy” from New Delhi, one service call from a technician who said he was given the wrong work order, a second visit from a technician who said we didn’t need a separate dish on the barn roof after all, a 40 minute long conversation with “Elaine” from Mumbai in which I told her I wasn’t paying an extra $100 for something that should be free, and a third visit from a technician who finally hooked up a mini receiver in the man cave ….

Can you see it?

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I hope not.

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But it’s there.

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An extremely long cable connecting the satellite dish on our house to the barn.

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Because someone…who shall remain nameless but answers to ‘Hey Marine’…. just had to have a television with a full program line up with DVR capability in his man cave.

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In Maine, lines don’t get buried until spring…. which means I’ll either trip over it and break my neck in the meantime, or the red squirrel bitch from Hell will chew through it when seeking revenge.

Good times.

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Did I mention I had to spend another 35 minutes online with a chatbot when Direct TV charged me twice for the same service call and then added a $9 monthly protection plan to my bill that I didn’t approve? Ever since AT&T took them over it’s been a horror show.

😡

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A recommendation pour vous.

22 Comments

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I don’t often recommend beer to friends because everyone tends to like something different. But once in a while I come across a special one that makes me so happy…. I have to share.

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This strange Belgian concoction has a delicious whiff on chocolate upon introduction…. and then sweeps you skyward in a heady sour cherry cloud.

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Pairs well with rich and dense desserts?

Then bring on the 12 pound chocolate fudge layer cake and River is one happy blogger.

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Seriously, if you like sours? You’ve got to try this one.

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Frank A. agrees.

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I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did it anyway.

27 Comments

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I clicked on the video.

But in my defense…. how could I not? It had a talking ass that wasn’t a politician. That’s a rare thing these days.

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I knew it would be bad, I knew! But I clicked on it anyway… and boy, I wasn’t wrong.

There were directions.

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And the aforementioned chatty butt holes.

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(Who dreams up these things?)

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They were quite explicit about where the offending odors originate.

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But by the time I reached this part of the video?

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I had to turn it off. With the knowledge that I’ve doomed myself to a slew of bizarre Facebook ads for months to come.

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