Scotland. Home to fine whiskey, rugged highlands, a mythical lake creature, bagpipes, my ancestors… and haggis.
(If you don’t know what haggis is, consider yourself lucky and leave it at that.)
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Since the owner/bartender of our local pub is a Scot born and bred, I thought it might be fun to show up wearing a mask of my clan’s tartan the next time we drop by for a pint. Enter Amazon.
Sure enough they had one…
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Though by the look of the packaging, I’m guessing it was not made anywhere near a peat bog or by Clan MacGregor.
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Oh, and in case you’re wondering….
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The post title is my clan’s motto in Gaelic. Royal is my race.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten and I are in the midst of a wee skirmish. And while his highness is completely spoiled rotten and indulged in most things here in Catlandia, there’s one place this human draws the line…. and that’s the litter box.
When Dudley moved in I dragged our old one up from the basement. It was a massively large box because our last cat was, well… massive.
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I dutifully filled it with Tidy Cat and our (not so tidy) new cat promptly scratched and spun like a whirling dervish and scattered it everywhere. Deciding the box was too big for him, I bought a smaller one. When he tried it, he couldn’t spin around like a demonic top, but still scattered litter all over the floor. So I bought a litter trapping mat. Then a larger mat. Then an even larger mat. But no. The little devil was leaving trails of litter down both hallways. So I switched to this…
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And quickly determined their promise was a lie.
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It did help with the tracking, but not the scattering. So I bought one of those litter boxes with the clip on edges. You know the ones, the sides are higher so litter can’t be flung outside it.
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Yeah.
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Three sides of it are high, so of course our little darling flings the litter out the lower entrance side. Dudley is nothing if not consistent.
Tomorrow I will be receiving the highest sided cat litter box I could find from my good friend ( Alright, he’s not really a good friend but with the amount of money I’ve sent the guy in the past year you’d think he could at least drop me a postcard from that new tropical Island I bought him. Geesh. ) Jeff Bezos. I’m hoping Amazon’s box will put an end to the litter war, but if not… I fear there’s only one solution left.
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Of course with my luck, Dudley will probably just poop on the top and call it good.
I can honestly say I’ve never felt so utterly appreciated for purchasing a product before this package arrived yesterday.
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The box told me I was helping hungry children.
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And that I was awesome.
I already knew this, but positive reinforcement never hurts.
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The inner paperwork thanked me.
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And told me again how awesome I was.
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It went on to explain that my one little bottle of ground rosemary (because the husband refuses to eat fresh… it’s too prickly. 🙄) fed one needy child.
I hope it’s true.
I’m choosing to believe it’s true, because if it’s not… I’d have to reconsider my awesomeness, and that’s not happening.
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The rosemary was quite good so I may order from them again.
A list of gifts to give your friends. If you don’t ever want them to speak to you again that is….
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Repeat after me, ” I will not buy River a dog’s ass pillow for her birthday or Christmas. Not now. Not ever. ”
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Seriously? Like I don’t have enough guilt reaching for those two extra slices of cheese as it is.
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Why.
Why in the world would anyone want to walk around in a baguette? I’ve been to France and had them fresh from the boulangerie. They are made to sop up sauce, be covered in jam or smothered in cheese… not your nasty foot funk.
I saw a list of things you should buy your significant other to show how much you love them yesterday. And while none of these products fit that bill…. they did make me chuckle at the thought of owning them and putting them in the barn bar.
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Come on, you know that will come in handy someday.
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Bar mascot? It could be.
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Maybe if I get the husband one of these he can practice on pizza for his next remodel project. Eating those mistakes will be a lot more enjoyable than staring at his construction errors for the next 20 years.
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 