Tag Archives: shopping

Oh, no… Hell no.

 

Women will try anything to keep their skin looking supple and smooth. The illusion of youth is a powerfully motivating force.

And while I admit to buying my fair share of high priced creams and lotions in a feeble attempt to push back the hand of time…. even I have a limit.

Here it is:

 

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Yes…

Snail mucus.

 

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Because someone, somewhere, at sometime saw this…..

 

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And thought, yup….

I got to get me some of that!

 

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It’s official….

 

The end really is near.

 

L.L. Bean closing all U.S. stores amid coronavirus concerns

This is the first time in history that the Flagship stores in Freeport will close for more than 24 hours

L.L. Bean is closing all U.S. retail locations beginning midnight Monday through March 29 out of precaution for the spread of coronavirus, COVID-19, L.L. Bean President and CEO Steve Smith said in a press release Monday. 

 

Yes… the store that’s open 24/7 seven days a week, Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas…. is closing.

 

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For those of you who don’t live in Maine? ( I’m sorry, you really should.)

Or are unfamiliar with L.L. Beans? (Where have you been, under a rock?)

THEY NEVER CLOSE!

Ever.

It’s kind of their thing.

They don’t even have locks on their doors!

Of course this is huge news up here as they employ like half the state…. so I can only surmise one thing.

We’re doomed.

The end is truly near….

It’s been nice knowing you.

 

 

 

 

 

So now I know.

 

I went grocery shopping this morning….

And I now know what we will all be doing during the virus apocalypse.

 

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Baking.

Because there wasn’t a freaking bag of flour for miles.

 

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There was beef, but no chicken.

Tissues, but no paper towels.

Ham, but no bacon.

Macaroni, but no spaghetti.

You never know what will disappear next. Although I did notice there was plenty of kale…. which makes it official.

If all that’s left on the shelves is kale? I will starve to death.

 

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Now that the apocalypse has begun…..

 

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I really don’t understand this latest panic, but it’s happening… as witnessed by these pictures sent to me by a friend in Pennsylvania.

 

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Her husband went to Wal Mart and felt like he won the lottery.

 

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Which makes me very glad I took advantage of the sale our local grocery was running a few months ago.

 

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Bring it Covid-19.

We’re ready!

 

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Day 11….love notes, breakfast, a liquor store and last minute Christmas shopping in Colonial Williamsburg.

 

The eleventh day of our vacation started at our timeshare resort condo…

 

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Where I found this:

 

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A note from the grandchild of our hearts.

Sorry… but there’s no way better way to start the day than that.

 

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Although biscuits and gravy with home fries comes close.

We had a full day of Christmas gift shopping ahead of us and needed hearty sustenance. And in the south?

 

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That includes the options of scrapple, fried catfish, grits or bologna and eggs.

The husband’s utterly favorite breakfast is chipped beef on toast and he rarely finds it in Maine… so when we stumbled on the Southern Pancake and Waffle House in Williamsburg?

 

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He wanted to go every morning…. which we pretty much did from then on.

 

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But hey, there were chickens in every window so how could we lose?

Our first stop that day was a liquor store in anticipation of our upcoming Christmas Day in North Carolina.

For future reference…. the first way to tell you’re in a liquor store in the south?

 

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There’s a still.

 

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Still searching for that silly wine filter, I thought we could try Merchant’s Square…. which is the shopping section of Colonial Williamsburg I couldn’t get the husband to check out the previous week.

 

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As with all areas there, it was lovely.

 

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Filled with interesting high end shops… like this interior design place.

 

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Giant double diamond ring light fixture anyone…?

 

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We happily strolled aroiund, ducking in and out of the stores with all the other desperate  Holy crap it’s Christmas Eve and I don’t have a gift!   shoppers.

Naturally I had to buy a souvenir tee shirt –

 

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Truer words were ne’er spoke.

 

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And towards late afternoon when my stomach started grumbling?

This happened.

 

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Someone saw the husband’s Marine Corps hat, said Semper Fi, and they were off….

 

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On a 38 minute long conversation about who was stationed where, when and with whom.

Yes. I timed it….

 

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While he talked?

 

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I walked.

 

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Agreed wholeheartedly with a sign.

 

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And explored a little more…

 

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Of the colonial town.

 

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And hey, if you’re going to dress up in period costume and stand on the sidewalk?

 

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Don’t give me the stink eye when I take your picture.

Turning back around hoping the other half had finished talking…

 

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I saw snow.

 

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Granted it wasn’t very much, but it surprised me to see any at all.

 

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The ice skating rink surprised me as well.

 

 

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In Maine we wait for ponds to freeze over.

 

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In Virginia they just build one… and how they keep it frozen in 60 degree temperatures is a mystery to me.

 

 

Tail end of the Yorktown driving tour, some fluffy butts, an elusive Christmas gift…. and late night food.

 

The driving tour of the Yorktown, Virginia battlefield was a strange one and meandered all over the place.

 

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Through the woods.

 

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And past open fields with miles of split rail fencing.

Seriously, it went on forever.

 

 

 

There were creeks and swamps.

 

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And every now and then, a sign.

 

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We saw plenty of fluffy white butts.

 

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And they roamed at will.

 

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We even made friends with a few.

 

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This little beauty had no fear and sidled right up next to my window.

 

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Up our way that would be dangerous.

But this was protected land and they knew it.

 

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Near the end of the tour we saw something a bit odd.

 

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A buck with a funky horn.

 

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And while I can’t say I’ve ever had to tote a rack around  (on my head anyway)  this did look a little strange.

 

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So this was December 23rd and the husband had spent the last 48 hours trying to talk me into driving down to North Carolina for Christmas Day. When we’re on a trip for the holidays? We usually let it pass without much fanfare. No exchange of gifts, maybe just a special meal. But since our daughter of the heart came to visit with us those few days… he was bound and determined we would celebrate with her this time.

While I normally would have agreed, she had a slew of family members staying the night in a one bathroom house and I didn’t want to stress her anymore than necessary. We checked a few hotels in the area but all of them were full. Husband wanted to go for the day…. but it was a 4+ hour ride down and a 4+ hour ride back. Almost 9 hours on the road is not my idea of a fun Christmas… but he wore me down. Which meant we had to spend the rest of that day (and night) shopping for gifts because I wouldn’t go empty handed.

And leave it to me to decide on the one gift that was utterly unfindable on the 23rd of December. And believe me we tried.

Yup.

I had to give her this.

 

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Because she loves wine…. but can no longer drink it because it gives her headaches.

I was going to give her the gift of wine back! Or die trying.

Which we nearly did.

We tried every single freakin’ store for 150 miles. Large malls and small gift shops. Specialty stores and wine outlets. Big chains and obscure holes in the hall. We walked, we searched, we cursed.  (Okay, maybe that was just me.)  We shopped until we almost dropped. Everyone had heard of it… very few carried it. And if they did carry it? They were sold out by the time we got there.

Do you know how aggravating it is to look for something for 7 hours straight and then be told by a laughing salesclerk, “Oh, we just sold the last one 10 minutes ago. You should have been quicker.”  That woman is lucky she still has her tongue…. because if I could have reached the butcher knife on the other side of the counter? She’d be laughing with a bloody stump right now.

And if that isn’t bad enough?

I didn’t find the perfect gift, but I did find this:

 

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No.

No

Noooo!

This is wrong on so many levels … I can’t even. What twisted soul thought, “How can I take a perfectly good candy and ruin it beyond all measure? I know… I’ll add Kale!”

All over the world children are weeping. I hope you’re satisfied Archie.

At 9:30 that night the husband was screaming Uncle…. and grumbling about food. We were both too exhausted to care at that point and stopped at the first place on the way back to the resort. An Outback Steakhouse.

I’m not a lover of chain restaurants and hadn’t been to one of these in 20 years.

 

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But $5 Boozy Cherry Limeades sounded pretty good….

And for that price? I had 3.

 

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Their Blue Cheese Wedge salad left a lot to be desired…. and the husband’s French Onion soup was only fair.

 

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But his filet was blood rare and he made short work of it.

 

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My grilled filet and shrimp skewer combo was filling…. and I’ll leave it at that.

There’s a reason we’re not chain restaurant fans, and if we don’t go back for another 20 years?

I’m okay with that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Product Hell.

 

Have you ever walked through a store and spotted products that make you do a double take?

I do it quite often and always stop to take pictures to rant/blog/post about later.

Here are a few of my latest finds:

 

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Pickle In A Pouch.

Unrefrigerated and languishing for God knows how long by the cash register?

That’s just wrong.

 

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But Big Papa anthropomorphized Pickle…

The Portly Pickle who’s arms are open wide and ready to wrap you in his pickley goodness??

So very, very wrong.

 

 

Then… there was this:

 

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A remote control Tom Brady helicopter.

Maybe Bill Belichick will use these to spy on opposing teams from now on,  who knows.

But I have to admit…

 

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I think they got Tom’s shade of lipstick just right.

 

 

And finally, there was this wireless keyboard and mouse I ordered from Amazon for the husband.

 

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Which looked great until we opened it and found it didn’t include a dongle. I went back to the Amazon listing and it said “Just plug and play”, so where the hell was it?

Let’s check the instructions.

 

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“Keybord”?

 

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Yeah.

Shame my Japanese is a little rusty.

 

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P.S.   The dongle?

Hidden in a compartment on the back of the mouse.

It’s always the last place you look.

 

 

 

Cape Cod Day 6… antiques, cocktails and dinner on the water.

 

Because you know no road trip with my husband is complete without a visit to an antique store…

 

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I’d managed to make it almost 6 full days without one, but my luck ran out.

 

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He scoured the stalls…

 

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Thoroughly perused the cases…

 

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Chuckled at the creepy mid century Santas.

 

 

And then….

 

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Bought a folding freight sled.

And if that wasn’t bad enough? The damned thing was from Maine!

Jesus wept.

 

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And I drank.

 

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It was the only appropriate response.

 

 

So we ended the afternoon at a wonderful waterfront restaurant…

 

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Called Fisherman’s View.

 

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Where I worked my way down the cocktail list.

 

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Have you ever had Casoni 1814 in a mixed drink? Ooh la la!

I hadn’t… but will be looking for it soon.

 

 

Food?

 

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Yes, they had that too. But since it was late afternoon and I wouldn’t be cooking when we got back, we opted to stay and wait for the dinner menu…

 

 

And watched the non stop crabbing…

 

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As well as some tugs escorting a barge through the Cape Cod Canal.

 

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Crab cake appetizer for me….

 

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Butternut squash and apple bisque for the other half.

And as evening rolled around…

 

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Neither one of us managed to get past that night’s specials.

 

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Scallops Spaghettini for me…

 

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Beef tenderloin for the hubs.

 

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Both were superb…. and I cursed the the fact that we hadn’t found this place earlier in our trip.

Replete…

 

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We took a short walk around the harbor.

 

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Enjoyed the sunset.

 

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And the view of that wonderful restaurant lit up in the distance.

 

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Back at the resort condo, the husband was knee deep in the impeachment coverage on MSNBC.

A guaranteed way to kill my buzz…

 

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So I escaped upstairs to my nook overlooking the living room to read….

 

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And (not quite) drunkenly play with my phone.

Cape Cod Day 4, Edgartown (and because you knew there had to be some…. rocks.)

 

First stop on Martha’s Vineyard?

 

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Edgartown.

 

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A beautiful place to visit…

 

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A nerve wracking place to drive.

 

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The streets are narrow and many of them one way.

 

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Which is charming…. until a delivery truck blocks your only egress.

 

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But let’s get back to beautiful.

 

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Park your car and walk…

 

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Because that’s the only way you’ll discover all the wonderful nooks and crannies in town.

 

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Since we were there in November, off season…

 

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We practically had it all to ourselves.

 

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Full of old world charm…

 

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And coastal breezes…

 

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I highly recommend an extended stroll.

 

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And the required clothing souvenir from the Black Dog.

 

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(Okay, I bought 3… so sue me.)

I could have easily walked and shopped all day but the husband will only tolerate so much of that.

So we headed out.

 

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And drove past mile ….

 

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After mile….

 

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After mile…

 

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Of stone walls.

 

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Seriously, I thought they would never end.

 

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Some houses had them in the front, to the sides and around the back.

 

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Some sections of the road had them lining both sides.

 

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And speaking as someone from Maine, which has it’s own fair share of stone walls…

 

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I must say, this section of the Vineyard put us Mainers to shame.