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Yeah, yeah… still the husband. Soul mate, best friend, whatever.
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But today I’m talking about critters.
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Whimsical…
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Magical….
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Absolutely adorable….
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Little critters.
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Yes, even the pesky red squirrel.
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And the mice that make their winter nests in our garage.
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The fact that these creatures are ephemeral and disappear with the first gust of wind just makes it bittersweet.
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For blog fodder research purposes if nothing else.
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I’m guessing they meant to say bad mood, but either way …. a screaming goat seems like the perfect companion to ride out the rest of this abominable year.
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A book of delightful goat facts? Perfect.
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Screaming goat placement is everything.
And hey, when you already have a flying poop drone…. a screaming goat doesn’t even raise eyebrows.
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The other product I might have to buy?
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A carbonated bubbling face mask?
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Show of hands…. how many people want to see that selfie?
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Since I’m still trying to plow through my massive stack of magazines, I have to share.
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Do we really need shoes that breathe? I don’t… but maybe that’s just me.
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I’m all for alternative leather products… eucalyptus? Cool. But if they come up with kale filled seats? I’m boycotting on sheer principle.
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According to this map temperatures are rising almost everywhere but it looks like me and my hot flashes are in the right place. Hang in there Maine! River melts into a puddle in anything above 75 degrees.
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If you’ve never had canned brown bread you haven’t lived a full life. This is a Maine staple, made in Portland, Maine… so why this article calls it Boston brown is a mystery. Moist and filled with molasses?
Try it. Your mouth will thank me.
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Dexter is coming back!
I don’t have Showtime anymore but might have to resubscribe in order to revisit my favorite serial killer.
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Ghost pepper strawberry frosting?
No.
Just no.
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Success was hard won, but after another full of month of fruitless used car shopping, we finally found one for our niece.
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A 2012 Subaru Impreza hatchback which cost a lot more money than I planned on spending for a 19 year old’s first car…. but welcome to pandemic era shopping.
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The economy is iffy and people aren’t buying new, which means they aren’t trading old, which means a complete lack of decent inventory on the lots. The pickings are extremely slim in Maine and unless you’re willing to spend $11,000 plus (I wasn’t) or buy something with 225,000 miles (also a no) good frickin’ luck.
Thankfully the dealership where she fell in love with this one allowed us to drive it an hour away to have our trusty mechanics/old friends give it a thorough once over.
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They found a few minor things it needed, while this fellow looked on…
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Hey, our friends run a high class garage…. and can apparently fix anything. Including the tin man.
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Okay, as evidenced by their Hooter calendar…. maybe not that high class.
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But they’re experienced and kind enough to examine the car for free, so I’ll excuse a few scantily clad bimbos.
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The car won their seal of approval… after telling us it needed new tires… and our niece let out an audible sigh of relief.
Time to celebrate.
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At the closest restaurant to the dealership while they got the paperwork together.
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Cheers to a young girl’s first car!
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And a hearty home style lunch. Corn and bacon chowder with a hot turkey sandwich for me. That damn thing was so big I ate off it for 3 days.
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Signing her own paperwork. With a man who needs serious instruction on mask protocol.
Big smiles and key in hand.
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A final hug for the best aunt and uncle on earth.
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A thumbs up behind the wheel…. and off she went back to college.
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One extremely happy camper.
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Because I still need to laugh.
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You think you’ve laid in enough supplies for the next Covid wave of panicked shoppers? Just imagine how much triple ply Charmin ole Rex would have needed.
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That’s a distinct possibility.
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Another possibility. At least in my neck of the woods.
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That sounds like good advice.
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Protection.
It’s not just for penises anymore…
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Because it’s been a long week and I need a chuckle.
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I’d like to tell you there’s something wonderfully quirky up there like a hedgehog cheese grater…
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Or sandwich bags that lessen the chances of your kid getting beaten up for their PB&J….
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But alas, when I climbed up on a chair and checked?
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All I saw was this:
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A lone fly swatter the husband must have thrown up there when I wasn’t looking.
Handy if Mike Pence drops by, but otherwise not very amusing.
So regale me with your finds…
What’s collecting dust in your kitchen?
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With my husband, yes… of course.
But also with these:
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Gorgeous little masterpieces made with leaves,twigs, blooms and berries.
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Called land art…
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Because as soon as the wind blows?
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They’re gone.
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Each of Bullen-Ryner’s pieces comprises locally sourced and foraged materials. Nothing is glued or tethered, which means her work might only last a few minutes before parts begin to fly away with the breeze. So, why does she choose to work this way? “People often ask me why don’t I make something more permanent or they say it’s such a shame that it’s temporary,” Buller-Ryner shares. “But for me, it is the ephemeral nature of what I do that has become like therapy for my soul. I get to put down all my anxieties, my fears, all the chaos from my brain and turn it into something beautiful to honor Mother Nature. I take some photos and then walk or cycle away, leaving it all behind and feeling calmer, more connected, and truly lighter.
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Such beautiful little treasures.
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Yes.
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I’m definitely in love.
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Admit it….
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You are too!
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Still with momma…
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But no more spots!
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He/she is a little smaller than the other fawns.
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And I’m not sure if that has something to do with the fact that he/she is blue eyed.
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But they chow down everyday, twice a day.
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And as long as the deep snow doesn’t roll in too soon, all should be well.
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My first question is why I even bother going to Wal Mart in the first place? For a store that claims to have everything, they rarely… if ever… have what I need.
Bird seed?
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Nope.
Is there a new Covid 19 shopping panic I don’t know about? Are preppers stocking their bunkers with sunflower seed and suet now? I mean really… every single time I go Wal Mart… specifically for bird seed… the shelves are bare. It’s beyond annoying.
While I was there this time I also looked for individual au gratin baking dishes, because ya know… River needs to bake some fancy fish.
Nope. Couldn’t find any.
The rude gum smacking purple haired helpful sales associate I finally tracked down and asked told me there was no such thing… but I could find the potatoes on aisle 12.
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Sheets?
Our niece wanted some flowered ones for her dorm room… but Wal Mart said no can do.
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Flowers?
Forget about it. Plain grey, beige and navy. It was the same blah color scheme of that furniture store I visited a while back. And hey, I understand trends as much as the next girl… but what happened to something for everyone?
Feeling totally discouraged, I searched for one more thing.
A simple thing. A thing surely every Wal Mart in America carries.
A sweatshirt for the husband…
But did I find one?
I think you know the answer to that.
There was one lone sweatshirt in the men’s department. A size small… in bright red.
* note to Wal Mart stockers – get with the program! It’s Maine. We need bird seed, sweatshirts and fancy fish bakers. *
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I found a product I might just have to buy.
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While I’m not a huge fan of pigs in a blanket, I can easily see pig shaped brownies and pig shaped cornbread.
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Pig shaped ice for my cocktails?
Yes please!
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Admit it…
You want one too.
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River's world..... 