Take staining the deck for example.

I do it every few years, and that time had rolled around again.

So I went to Lowes and had them mix this color.

A nice warm chocolate brown.

Then I duded up in my paint clothes, gathered my brushes and hacked back the boxwood shrubs that were in the way.

All was well…. until I opened my can of stain.

And saw that.

Does that look like a warm chocolate brown to you?

It wasn’t even close.

And looked positively awful when painted on the deck railing. Like liquid peanut butter.

Blech.

Way too light.

Knowing I’d have to return it but not wanting to change clothes and drive 40 minutes to Lowes, I ran up to the local hardware store for a darker stain.

Of course they were almost out of stain and only had one choice…. which I bought, went home and tried.

Nope.

Way too dark.

I was beginning to feel like Goldilocks…

And trudged back to the hardware store to return the second can.

By the time I got back, the husband told me to hold off staining because he wanted to replace all the old rotted railings with something nicer.

Another project?

I’m not sure I have it in me.

And how long will I have to live with a multicolored railing?

Stay tuned for this and other equally as uninteresting answers.