All posts by Rivergirl

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Things I like today… Part 7

 

I like…

This tee shirt I picked up at Goodwill the other day.

 

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If my husband would just follow this one simple rule, life would be so much more pleasant.

I like…

The new yellow kiwi fruit.

 

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Have you tried them?

 

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Yum!

I like….

The Annual Damariscotta PumpkinFest Regatta.

(And you thought we only raced zucchini in Maine. Pfft!)

 

 

 

But this year, I really like the pumpkin they’re using to advertise it.

 

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I like…

Finding multiple praying mantises (manti?) on the baby barn we’re remodeling.

Did you know the female praying mantis bites off her partner’s head after sex?

Clearly she’s a woman who doesn’t like to cuddle.

 

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I like…

Apple season.

 

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Our trees are loaded with juicy fruit…

And soon my belly will be full of juicy pie and fritters.

 

actual video of me after eating juicy pie and fritters

Well, this is new….

 

We’re inundated by telemarketers.

The phone rings day and night with scammers and I’ve gotten to the point where if I don’t recognize your number, I don’t answer.

 

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Sorry, even then.

We get all the usual ones…. Rachel from card holder services, the IRS, Windows tech support, expiring warranties, and occasionally the bank who wants me to pay back the college loans I never took.

But the other day, this message broke the monotony.

 

 

 

If any of my readers are fluent in Chinese….

Can you please tell me what I ordered and when it will be delivered?

 

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( Game of Thrones may be over…

But the memes live on. )

 

 

 

 

Oops.

 

I learned a lesson the other day… the hard way.  (If there’s any other way, I’ve yet to find it.)

In April I received a recall notice for Ethel. (Yes, my car’s name is Ethel)

No big deal, it was something about a brake light switch. I stuck the notice in the drawer thinking, yeah…I’ll have to make an appointment at the dealership sometime.

Which means I promptly forgot all about it.

Then two months ago, we were leaving our friend’s place at camp. They have the driveway from Hell… steep and unpaved. We were backing out, hit some loose gravel and bing! bam! boom! all my warning lights started flashing on the dash. ABS, Vehicle Dynamics Control, Hill Assist.

You name it, it was flashing.

 

 

I thought, oh hell… we knocked some silly computer module out of whack.

But the car drove perfectly fine and by the time we got home all the lights were out…. so I didn’t give it a second thought. Until this Monday when I went grocery shopping, pulled into the parking lot and shifted into park. Bing! Bam! Boom! all the warning lights flashed again.

Warning lights. What do I know about warning lights?

 

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I mean heck, if they had useful ones….. it would make sense.

 

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But these things were going off for absolutely no reason. Again, my only thought was… stupid computers.

Until I loaded all my groceries in the car, started it and couldn’t shift.

Nada. Nothing. Frozen in park.

Of course it was a hot day…. and of course ice cream was on sale so I’d bought 4 containers. As everything melted into soup, I fiddled and faddled and cursed and finally managed to get it in gear to drive home.

Where it froze in park again.

Moral of the story?

 

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When the manufacturer sends you a recall notice? There’s a reason…. go have it taken care of.

It may just be a brake light switch, and they may assure you “only a small handful of vehicles have had serious issues”….. but if it’s one in three million?

It’s going to be me.

I’m lucky that way.

I love my town… Part 2

 

More blurbs from my town’s FB page that are too good not to share.

Lots of things were lost this month….

 

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Along with Batman, there was the weekly pig escape.

 

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Before moving here, I never knew errant pigs were such a problem.

And apparently sheep are as well.

 

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Big white coffee tables.

Ya gotta love it.

This next one was amusing as well.

 

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I’m not sure a bat circling your couch is a valid reason to call 911…. but I never saw the update, so maybe I’m wrong.

And finally, there was this….

 

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Glad I wasn’t in town that day….

Thankfully our air was fish stink free.

 

 

Things I don’t like today… Part 3

 

I don’t like….

Weed wacking around one of our stone walls and having a frog jump out in front of me.

I swear I didn’t see him…

 

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And literally cut him in half.

*Gulp*

 

I don’t like…..

Sitting at a bar and having a creepy disembodied head on a stick tied to a doll stare at me all night.

 

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Like I need another reason to drink?

Ack!

 

I don’t like….

Being disappointed.

Remember when I posted about the miracle of my husband cleaning out the garage, and how the old sink he brought home from the dump was gone?

 

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Yeah. I found it in the barn.

Very disappointing.

And finally,

 

I don’t like….

Pressure.

 

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Since my husband can’t decide when he’s going to retire, he’s forbidden any travel this year so he can sell back his leave.

Doesn’t he realize I’m duty bound to blog our adventures?

Damn it…

Now someone will beat to me to it!

 

I’m in love…. with a moth.

 

I know, it’s a little odd.

But if he was visiting your flowers? You’d love him too.

 

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Meet Herman.

 

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My hummingbird moth.

 

 

 

He’s been visiting everyday and I’m smitten.

 

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Herman is special, and not often seen in these parts.

 

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I know our love is doomed.

Interspecies relationships rarely work out….

 

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But for now, I’ll enjoy every moment we share.

 

 

 

 

 

Damn…..

 

Living in Maine affords it’s residents numerous opportunities to attend fabulous competitive events. There are lobster trap runs, belt sander races, frying pan hurls, skiing Santa races, rubber duckie races and pumpkin drops. We even host the North American Wife Carrying contest.

But this year I missed a new one.

 

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I missed it!

The social event of the season…. and I missed it.

 

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Who knew you could have so much fun with a zucchini?

 

 

Besides that guy.

 

 

And okay, maybe her.

But either way, I missed a stellar event and will have to be sure and mark my calendar for next year.

Zucchini racing.

Coming to a track near you.

Time to fess up….

 

Which one of you boneheads is peeing in my birdbath every night?

Because this is getting old.

Every afternoon I clean out the birdbath.

 

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Filling it with sparkling clean, cool water for our birds to drink and take a bath.

And then every morning I wake up to this:

 

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Every single morning.

So…

Fun’s over. Admit your crime.

The midnight madness must stop.

 

Did you know… a challenge.

 

So the last time I did one of these quite a few people knew what I know, and that’s disappointing.

So I’m upping my game, reaching deep into the grey matter to find some heretofore unknown tidbits because….

 

 

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Did you know….

Hedgehogs were called urchins in medieval times?

The first recorded use of the word “hedgehog” wasn’t until the 15th century.

 

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Did you know…

In France you can marry a dead person?

Article 171 of the French civil code states, “The President of the Republic may, for grave reasons, authorize the celebration of the marriage where one of the future spouses is dead.”

Maybe it’s just me, but is that really cause for celebration?

 

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Did you know….

Pope Adrian VI died after a fly got stuck in his throat as he was drinking from a fountain?

That couldn’t have been pretty.

 

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Did you know…

Robert E. Lee wore a size 4 1/2 shoe?

That doesn’t speak well for the size of his….

Oh, never mind.

 

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Did you know…

Endurance training that involves alternating between high and low intensity is called fartlek? It comes from the Swedish word fart, meaning speed and lek, meaning play.

Oh, those silly Swedes.

 

 

 

Did you know….

The amount of potato chips Americans eat each year weighs 6 times more than the Titanic.

Damn. That’s a lot of spuds.

 

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The only truth in advertising you’re ever apt to see.

 

So, maybe.

 

Just maybe…

I should clean out my cupboards a bit more often.

We have a tall skinny cabinet in our kitchen. It’s not very wide, which constantly leads to items being pushed to the back to make room for new.

Sometimes they get pushed really far back. Really, really far back…

Like a solid mile and a half back.

For example, this container of chicken broth…

 

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Fat free!

Kudos to me for being healthy, right?

Well, I should have realized this wasn’t going to be good when I saw the label. The last time I bought fat free was when I was dieting……

 

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In 2014.