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I came home from the store the other day and stepped up on our kitchen landing.
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Which is when I saw it.
Do you see it?
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Let me give you a hint…
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We hadn’t seen the little red bastards for a while, but it was right there.
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A stolen apple wedge. Prominently placed where I couldn’t help but see it.
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That bitch is taunting me now.
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In what universe are these an acceptable substitute for Lays?
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Give me potatoes or give me death.
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Exactly!
And have you wandered down the bottled water aisle lately?
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One puts you to sleep, the other wakes you up.
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I bet this one makes you crave junk food, and I’m not talking about the beet variety.
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But is it?
Is it really….
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While I’m all for pampering and spoiling our pets..
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No.
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Just, no.
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Bowzer’s manicure should not look better than mine… and look, even the dog hates it.
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I want to know who looked at their cat’s ass one afternoon and thought, ” Hey, that will make a great coloring book”.
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Mr. Whiskers is not amused.
And lastly, proof positive more isn’t always good… it’s just more.
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Hell, I think I’m slipping into diabetic coma just looking at that.
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That’s what I need to do.
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Because my feeders empty as soon as I fill them.
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Everyone’s trying to lay on a little extra fat for winter.
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Except me. I’m not trying… but it’s there damn it.
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Critters eat me out of house and home this time of year.
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But that’s okay.
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I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Epic fails in the kitchen. They usually happen when you’re having your MIL or the boss over for dinner.
So when I saw these online the other day? I had to share…
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Not even close.
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Funny, I’ve made this dish as well… but had no idea it was Italian.
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Recipes.
Sometimes they just like to screw with you.
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Ninja throwing apples!
I like.
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Oh, hell no!
That mouth. I just can’t…
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I’m all for making pets out of rocks, they’re so obedient. But this looks more like a creepy charcoal briquette.
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It’s official.
I will never eat sausage again.
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Today the turkeys beat the deer to the buffet.
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Come on mom, I’m hungry.
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Bambi wanted in.
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But was decidedly out numbered.
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Look at mommas face.
She is not pleased.
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But she gives in and tries to approach.
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Nope.
Even when Bambi runs at them they just scatter and regroup.
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Still hungry…
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Bambi finds an alternative source.
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Since I’m still trying to plow through my massive stack of magazines, I have to share.
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Do we really need shoes that breathe? I don’t… but maybe that’s just me.
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I’m all for alternative leather products… eucalyptus? Cool. But if they come up with kale filled seats? I’m boycotting on sheer principle.
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According to this map temperatures are rising almost everywhere but it looks like me and my hot flashes are in the right place. Hang in there Maine! River melts into a puddle in anything above 75 degrees.
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If you’ve never had canned brown bread you haven’t lived a full life. This is a Maine staple, made in Portland, Maine… so why this article calls it Boston brown is a mystery. Moist and filled with molasses?
Try it. Your mouth will thank me.
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Dexter is coming back!
I don’t have Showtime anymore but might have to resubscribe in order to revisit my favorite serial killer.
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Ghost pepper strawberry frosting?
No.
Just no.
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Success was hard won, but after another full of month of fruitless used car shopping, we finally found one for our niece.
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A 2012 Subaru Impreza hatchback which cost a lot more money than I planned on spending for a 19 year old’s first car…. but welcome to pandemic era shopping.
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The economy is iffy and people aren’t buying new, which means they aren’t trading old, which means a complete lack of decent inventory on the lots. The pickings are extremely slim in Maine and unless you’re willing to spend $11,000 plus (I wasn’t) or buy something with 225,000 miles (also a no) good frickin’ luck.
Thankfully the dealership where she fell in love with this one allowed us to drive it an hour away to have our trusty mechanics/old friends give it a thorough once over.
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They found a few minor things it needed, while this fellow looked on…
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Hey, our friends run a high class garage…. and can apparently fix anything. Including the tin man.
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Okay, as evidenced by their Hooter calendar…. maybe not that high class.
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But they’re experienced and kind enough to examine the car for free, so I’ll excuse a few scantily clad bimbos.
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The car won their seal of approval… after telling us it needed new tires… and our niece let out an audible sigh of relief.
Time to celebrate.
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At the closest restaurant to the dealership while they got the paperwork together.
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Cheers to a young girl’s first car!
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And a hearty home style lunch. Corn and bacon chowder with a hot turkey sandwich for me. That damn thing was so big I ate off it for 3 days.
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Signing her own paperwork. With a man who needs serious instruction on mask protocol.
Big smiles and key in hand.
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A final hug for the best aunt and uncle on earth.
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A thumbs up behind the wheel…. and off she went back to college.
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One extremely happy camper.
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Because it’s been a long week and I need a chuckle.
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I’d like to tell you there’s something wonderfully quirky up there like a hedgehog cheese grater…
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Or sandwich bags that lessen the chances of your kid getting beaten up for their PB&J….
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But alas, when I climbed up on a chair and checked?
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All I saw was this:
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A lone fly swatter the husband must have thrown up there when I wasn’t looking.
Handy if Mike Pence drops by, but otherwise not very amusing.
So regale me with your finds…
What’s collecting dust in your kitchen?
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Still with momma…
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But no more spots!
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He/she is a little smaller than the other fawns.
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And I’m not sure if that has something to do with the fact that he/she is blue eyed.
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But they chow down everyday, twice a day.
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And as long as the deep snow doesn’t roll in too soon, all should be well.
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River's world..... 