Tag Archives: hair

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Let’s play.

39 Comments

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Try.

You might even enjoy it.

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I don’t mean buying a big waterfront house with hot and cold running gardeners or a snazzy little Lamborghini for running errands…. those go without saying.

I mean something that’s insignificant to others but seems like pure bliss to you.

I’ll go first.

I want…

A personal hair stylist at my beck and call to keep my big ‘80’s hair looking perfect all day, everyday!

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She/he doesn’t have to follow me around with a brush and a can of hair spray all day, but my hair is labor intensive and not having to worry about styling it would be a real treat.

How about you…

What rich person luxury would you give yourself?

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Little known facts about booze.

22 Comments

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Did you know…

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I don’t drink Campari, and now I’m twice as glad I never did.

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Vodka cures frizzy hair? It truly is the nectar of the Gods.

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So Walgreens was built on whiskey’s back? Take 2 shots and call me in the morning.

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Good ole George. 11,000 gallons a year probably made wearing those wooden teeth a little more bearable.

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Gobble, gobble.

15 Comments

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Far be it for me to hawk a product from Amazon, I’m sure Jeff Bezos is doing just fine without my help. But I ordered this little jewel the other day….

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And was amazed at well it worked.

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Yes, it’s just a stupid plastic thing with a serrated end.

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But that sucker slides right down my bathroom sinks and shower drains and brings up all manner of nasty clogs. (I’ll spare you photographic evidence of my claim, suffice it to say I have a head of thick curly hair that doesn’t always stay on my head.)

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Save yourself a visit from the plumber (and his crack) . Buy a Green Gobbler today!

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Get thee to a hair salon!

18 Comments

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Covid has changed our lives in a myriad of ways, and while I’d like to say I’ve come to appreciate the smaller things and learned I don’t need things like dinner out, travel, shopping trips and concerts ( though I do, I really do! ) what I’ve discovered is somewhat different.

Basically I need two things.

#1….. I need to step away from the bacon, cupcakes and potato chips. Who knew sitting on the couch blogging while stuffing your face with snacks for a year could lead to none of your clothes fitting properly ? Not me, that’s for sure.

And #2….. I need to find a hair salon ASAP. Because along with socializing and vacations, the other thing I haven’t done in a year is get my hair cut.

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Last spring it was healthy and perfectly layered, this spring it’s dry, full of split ends and suffering from my crazed butchering with the kitchen scissors.

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No layers, no shape, no bounce. I’ve never gone this long without a stylist working their magic and it’s beginning to show.

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And no, I haven’t touched the color, it’s just different lighting in the photos.

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To be honest I thought a solid year of unchecked growth would result in more inches but it only seems to have lengthened on the top. Leave it to me to have weirdo hair.

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Recent additions to the Barn Mahal.

27 Comments

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After thoroughly whipping my other half in a marathon Scrabble session in the barn last weekend, I took a good look around.

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And realized what an amazing storage building filled with absolute crap ….

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To seriously alcohol–centric man cave transformation we had wrought.

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Yay us.

And to this glorious rustic palace of play? I added a few new things.

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Because if there was ever a more perfect place for my fully operational spastic poop drone… I don’t know where it could be.

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To the bar, I added an acrylic box of appropriately themed cocktail napkins.

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Each more true than the last.

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Alongside the napkins there are now swizzle sticks.

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Some are shaped like twigs in honor of their origin.

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And some are shaped like jazz hands… because it’s just delightfully creepy.

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And since no man cave with a bar should be without them?

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Hair spray and a comb to repair follicle damage the walk from our wind blown house wreaks on my unruly tresses.

And if you’re cringing over that addition gentlemen?

Viola!

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I also added a plant.

Granted, it’s a just small succulent…. but I believe my eventual takeover of the premises is progressing quite nicely.

😈

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Products no one needs.

28 Comments

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Correct me if I’m wrong…

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But that has got to be the worst product ever invented. If you want to see me in a homicidal rage? Watch me chase a screaming alarm clock down the hall with a baseball bat at 4:00am.

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Do I need to wrap myself in a life size tortilla?

No. I really don’t.

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A foot hammock.

Because those pillowed neck rolls people wear on airplanes aren’t ridiculous enough.

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Why in the world would I pay for an implement that gives me the hairdo I spend all morning trying to get rid of?

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Read my lips…

I neither have an inner mermaid, nor do I need to find one.

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This.

Because the government doesn’t eat enough of our money as it is.

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Bathroom products you might need.

13 Comments

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Or might not. That’s entirely up to you.

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Don’t discount alternative toilet paper. When the next Covid wave of hoarding shoppers comes through you’re going to wish you had grandma’s old Sears catalog.

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Good grief! If you’re losing that much hair in the shower? Seek medical help not a drain blocker.

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Now isn’t that just special?

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In the current Covid climate? This is the equivalent of one upping your neighbor. To heck with building a wrap around porch and landscaping with exotic flora…. displaying 8 rolls of toilet paper means you’ve arrived.

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Pandemic humor

19 Comments

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Admit it, you need to laugh as much as I do.

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Yeah, I hate when that happens.

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I’ve never had the pleasure, but from the tone of the reviews…. I’m going to pass.

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Karen.

That bitch is trying my patience.

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Am I the only one who’s slightly freaked out by this…?

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Stop bogarting the Oreos fat boy. Christmas is about sharing….

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2020.

It’s the only explanation.

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Products no one needs.

29 Comments

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My only question is why anyone makes these things in the first place.

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I prefer my clams in chowder with heavy cream thank you very much.

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Oh, hell no. I can only drink if the BeeGees are playing?

Trust me, if the BeeGees are playing…. I’ll need more not less.

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I’m sorry, but they don’t. Less really is more.

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While this is rather cute? It’s also a great way to take out an eye. Weaponized mallows are over the top, even for me.

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No. Aside from the fact the packaging seems to be marketed for 6 year old girls…

I refuse to wear a perfume named Juicy Bunny on sheer principle.

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