Because laughter is the cheapest form of therapy.
Damn!
That must be it.
At least now I know where it all went.
A pox on you Picard family.
Wow.
That’s something to ponder.
Jesus!
So did I.
They’re right, we were.
And none of us listened.
I anxiously await the day.
My husband watches television to relax.
And while he’s usually knee deep in the news or old westerns, occasionally there will be a bit of classic cinema thrown into the mix.
Last week?
It was The Giant Claw.
Alternate title? When Dr. Seuss goes horribly wrong.
I mean come on.
Only a mother could love that face.
Engineer Mitch MacAfee (Jeff Morrow) spots a UFO while directing a study at the North Pole. But when the Air Force arrives they find nothing on radar, throwing Mitch’s reputation into doubt. But soon many airplanes are reporting attacks by a UFO, which turns out to be a giant speeding bird from outer space. Along with mathematician Sally Caldwell (Mara Corday), Mitch tries to determine a way to stop the bird, which has a force field that renders all weapons useless.
Yup. It was a classic.
Big Bird terrorizes New York.
Here he is attacking the United Nations.
1950’s people were running.
Which seemed to please the bird to no end.
Airplanes?
Yeah, he liked those too.
But never fear, these scientists will save the day.
The world is counting on them.
Bird was not impressed.
But look at all those high tech tubes and toggle switches!
It was only a matter of time.
The Giant Claw was toast…
And slowly sunk into the Hudson River.
Classic!
Not worthy of a blog of their own, but random interesting stuff all the same.
(And by interesting, you know I mean not at all interesting… just random information you didn’t want nor need but I feel compelled to share anyway)
I read a lot…. and before now have never thought of myself as any of these.
But from now on?
I’m an ink drinker all the way.
Yes, I bought myself a frying pan that’s reinforced by diamonds.
Because my fried chicken deserves the very best.
My rose is blooming like a lolly pop.
Is this earth shattering news you can use?
No.
But nothing I say ever is.
This claims to be the perfect Cosmopolitan recipe.
I shall research it extensively and report back.
Sadly, we had to shop for 2 headstones for recently passed members of my husband’s family.
After we picked the size of the stone, and the color of the granite….this was what we were given. Sheets of paper with literally thousands of designs that were printed so small, even reading glasses and a magnifying glass barely helped us make them out.
I believe the husband chose a lighthouse for one…. but it could as easily have been a beer keg.
Time will tell.
Danger Will Robinson!
If you’ve never experienced a browntail moth rash you haven’t lived a full life. Imagine mixing poison ivy with fire ants and chicken pox…. and you might come close.
These little bastards have moved into Maine and are stripping our trees bare. And if you happen to brush up against one of them? Hang on, because you’ll attempt to rip the skin off your bones within 12 hours. Nothing stops the itch except a spray that comes in a one ounce bottle sold by one hospital in the state for $65 per. Insurance won’t cover it and you need a doctor’s prescription to purchase it.
I get the rash at least 3 times a year.
Good times.
And finally, if you’ve been wondering what people are doing to keep busy during the pandemic… or how they’re spending their stimulus money?
Wonder no longer.
Remember how I posted about a red pepper that wanted a kiss a while back?
Well, the creepy food phenomenon continues.
My potatoes are smiling.
And my blueberry pancakes are giving me the eye.
I’m beginning to dread going in the kitchen.
Okay, I admit it.
The little rat bastards fellows are cute.
Sitting on the railing….
With vibrant day lilies blooming in the background…..
Voguing for the camera like some fur covered super model.
Though I highly doubt Naomi Campbell ever pooped on her runway.
Cute, yes…
But you’re still a giant pain in my ass!
I know we’ve all become lazy housebound sods who can’t be bothered to put on pants during the pandemic, but this?
This is a bridge too far.
The day I’m too lazy to stir my own pan you have permission to slit my throat, fill it with kale and put me out of my misery.
And while I’m all for cocktails?
I have absolutely no intention of sharing my margaritas with llamas.
Nope.
Not happening.
Oh, yeah.
Kitty Hitler looks positively thrilled.
Let’s ponder this for a moment.
Someone thought about, invented, pitched, found investment capital and marketed….. a hammock for fish.
Is this a great country or what!
And finally…. when your dog no longer needs his collar of shame?
Viola!
You can re-purpose it in the kitchen.
You’re welcome.
Woodchucks are still being tormented by starlings.
And are sometimes drastically outnumbered.
Deer and fox happily dine together.
Squirrel keeps an eye on deer.
But calls in back up.
Until another fox shows up.
Who is so chill he lays down and eats like a Roman.
How chill?
He even smiles for the camera.
Deer, fox and squirrels depart, woodchucks return.
It’s the circle of life.
Otherwise known as an average afternoon in our backyard.
*note – these pictures were taken before the drought turned our lawn a lovely shade of brown*
This little female Baltimore Oriole for example.
She sat there for 15 minutes or so…..
Waiting in vane for dinner to be served.
Then there’s my sworn enemy little rat bastard red squirrel.
We may have evicted them from their corner post home…..
But it hasn’t stopped their daily visits.
And raids on the deer bound apple slices.
Turn your back if you want you pesky varmint…. we both know what you’re up to.
Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.
Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….
Simple ads are always the best.
As was I.
So where is it?
I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.
Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
As good an explanation as any.
Because cleanliness is so important.
Where else can you go shopping and be greeted by a chicken?
Although what this poor devil did to be locked up in a rubber prison I don’t know.
Where else can you go to find a library that sets up a walking story time for kids?
Where else can you get alerts about runaway goats?
And offers of free hay?
The same place that airs their poopy grievances on Facebook, that’s where.
I love my town!!
