So for the past few weeks the half dead mallows that the woodchucks munched to nubs have been soaking up Miracle Grow and sun on my deck table.
They’re coming along, but it’s slow going.
Completely out of reach of little mouths and teeth, they might have a chance.
So when I looked out the window the other day and saw momma woodchuck sniffing around the deck….
Eyeing the plants and poised for action….
I had to laugh.
Stretch all you want.
You and your buck teeth can’t reach them!
Neener, neener.
We all get it, but lately?
Mine has taken a turn for the worse.
Like this one:
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A movie about blow up dates?
Makes me glad all the theaters are closed.
Spam
This post makes me remember a bad joke: What do you give the blonde that has everything? penicillin.. we are making a tv series about this. book for free here! -> https://surprise-me-playlists.herokuapp.com/
Ditto the tv series about the slutty blonde.
Aren’t there enough of those already?
Spam
I am final, I am sorry, there is an offer to go the other way.
No apologies necessary.
Take the offer.
Haroldsealf
Spam
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Honestly, where does this stuff come from? And why does a post about the baby barn attract it? A dark web group that gets off on crooked walls and uneven doors sounds extremely pathetic.
Zuluandzephyr
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The X Story Player offers one of the most realistic, fully immersive adult virtual sex games on the market.
So, you’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.
Yes, I can see how a tuxedo would make all the difference.
Jacketqco
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How a long way a Gemini chick attained a Gemini females, do you have?
Need to know the thin on why is your partner’s beat?
Wanting my tongue in oral cavity horoscope.
I don’t even know how to respond to this one.
But now I’m wondering if there’s a scope named after whores.
They’re back.
And they’re everywhere.
Momma red squirrel and her babies.
They’ve grown and are venturing out.
The new wider deck railing is a favorite spot for eating snacks. And while it’s cute, there’s a problem.
Or should I say multiple little problems. Squirrel poo is now dotting the landscape where we enjoy adult beverages.
And this is a new favorite perch.
I did laugh the other day when one of them climbed on the bracket and saw what he thought was a tasty glob of food.
Only to taste it and discover it was Vaseline to keep the ants off the hummingbird feeder.
Take that you tiny poop factory!
I’m beginning to get used to having the husband work from home.
Yes, it’s a little annoying trying to tiptoe around the house and be quiet all day long…. but there are distinct advantages.
Advantage #1?
It’s harder for him to avoid the honey do list that’s been growing exponentially since we moved in 18 years ago.
No more long commutes from the office, no more grumpy, tired of fighting I-95 traffic on the way home husband.
When he clocks out? I can grab him.
This week it was for blind installation in the kitchen.
Which in the tight space over the sink wasn’t as easy as it sounds.
He got quite a workout.
Take that Jane Fonda.
As the hours wore on ( what… you thought it would be minutes? ) the brackets wouldn’t mount properly, and when they did, the blinds wouldn’t click into place.
Serious thought went into why they crashed to the ground every time you pulled them down.
Non OSHA approved climbing apparatus was used.
And curtain rod mounts had to be removed, reinstalled, removed, repositioned, removed again and yes, cursed. Repeatedly.
Want to frustrate your husband? Forget withholding sex…. make him hang curtains.
But finally it was done.
They moved up and down and stayed there.
If you’ve never tried this kind of blind, I highly recommend them. They’re attractive and block the hot sun while allowing filtered light to shine through.
And if you need some installed? Let me know.
I’m sure the husband is anxious to do a few more.
My little town’s FB page has been lighting up with some interesting sightings lately.
One woman kept posting but no one believed her.
Well….
I’d say that’s pretty definitive proof.
To be honest I’m surprised we’ve never had this issue. We’ve seen evidence of Yogi in our backyard and woods. (and even on the deck one winter. Yikes!) But he’s never raided our feeders, for which I’m grateful.
They’re lovely creatures, but quite destructive.
The sightings continue…. which prompted this latest post.
I’m down with that.
Hi Waldo!
Okay, if you insist.
I caught a couple of nice shots of our old doe in the field.
I don’t know how many seasons she’s seen, and the poor thing didn’t even blow her winter coat this year.
But she comes for dinner every night.
And brings her kids.
Whose little Frankenstein nubs always make me chuckle.
Everyone gets along well.
Except this one.
Who sticks his tongue out at woodchucks.
I guess everyone has a rude child once in a while.
Yes men, I’m talking about you.
Remember the tree planting miracle I posted about a while ago? When the husband dug up and transplanted 3 maple trees to the far corners of our backyard?
Yes, the ones I had to water everyday because we were entering drought conditions.
Well, that stopped when I broke my toe and I told the other half he’d have to take over the job if he wanted his trees to survive.
Water every day I told him.
Which is what I did, religiously, with his little patch of grass seed next to the baby barn.
Under my watchful eye the seed sprouted…
And is now green…
Thick and lush.
The trees?
That the husband didn’t bother to water because of course I don’t know what I’m talking about…..
Not so much.
After brown?
Came bare twig.
If only he’d listened to his wife…
Because it’s not over yet and laughter is still the only medicine.
Okay ladies, who’s with me?
I hope this was helpful.
Personally, I’ve never been peed on…. but you can never be too careful.
Fess up.
Which one of you morons did this and cursed us all?
Corona like a Viking!
Sword optional.
So take one for the team.
If I have to wear a bra in public, it’s the least you can do.
Or is this pepper puckering up for a kiss?
Fresh produce is one thing.
But fresh produce?
That’s a bridge too far.
My husband surprised me the other day with new gutters.
Yes…. some women get diamonds, I get downspouts.
But these had been a long time coming and after nearly being bludgeoned by icicles from water running off the garage last winter?
It was time.
I had other things to do that day but husband asked me to help for 30 minutes because he said that’s all it would take.
Silly, silly man.
The first section went up easily.
Too easily as it turns out….
Which the hose test proved.
It leaked.
I was then directed to a different spot, which also leaked.
Vowing to fix it later, the husband moved on, installed 2 more sections and then needed an end cap.
Which I now believe are the work of the devil.
One of these should have fit on the end of that piece to block the water.
Please note my use of the word should.
Adjustments were made.
Then larger adjustments.
Some of them not at all subtle.
But it worked.
Of course we were still left with the leaking problem on the first section. And after much discussion, it was decided the shingles on the non leaking end…
Over hung the roof a fraction of an inch further…
Than the shingles on the leaking end. And there’s not much you can do about that.
My solution?
Caulk it!
But the husband hates caulk so we spent the next 3 hours, yes… 3 hours….. trying to find a solution.
Little pieces of white plastic were cut to sit on the top of the clips and divert the flow.
But it didn’t work.
Long pieces of clear plastic were sought.
And carefully cut into strips to tuck under the flashing.
But still, it leaked.
Numerous ladder safety warnings were ignored during this process.
And still, it leaked.
Late in the afternoon, after spending way too much time on a half hour project….
The husband surrendered.
It’s raining as I write this…. and guess what?
No leaks.
