In life, symmetry is rare.
So when you see a baby woodchuck….
In the woodshed?
You reward him with an apple.
Because he’s just that cute.
And he doesn’t always get along with his family.
I think we can all relate to that.
Tag Archives: humor
Pandemic humor.
Because we’re still stuck in it and still trying to laugh.
Definitely not a Baskin and Robbins flavor I’m going to embrace.
Well, there wasn’t any Charmin on the grocery store shelf this week…..
I’m game.
While this isn’t necessarily pandemic related, it still holds true.
Who’s with me?
Love is in the air.
And on the ground.
It was a meet cute.
And apparently they hit it off.
She was a foxy lady after all.
A little snuggling.
A few nips behind the ear.
And viola.
A happy couple.
Or not.
What do I know?
Products worth a second look.
Does anyone need a banana phone?
No.
But buy one and save a gorilla just the same.
A must for Star Wars fanatics.
Yes James, I’m talking to you.
Cake.
On a stick.
Need I say more?
I’m not sure my bar game could possibly be more up, but bottles of gin are definitely my favorite DIY.
While I take umbrage at the horrible people designation (I’ve always thought of myself as just slightly awful) this is one seriously bawdy, provocative, risqué fun party game.
Does it surprise you to know I have all 6 expansion packs?
It shouldn’t.
So if you like raunchy, crude, earthy blue humor?
Give it a try.
Ducks
I have no idea why we have a pair of visiting Mallard ducks this year…
But like all the other critters who venture in….. they’re welcome.
Though the drake’s table manners leave a little to be desired.
Is standing in the dish of deer grain really necessary?
Other times he’s a bit like Caligula.
And eats lying down.
Ducks.
I hope they remember how nice we are to them.
I think he likes it.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say my husband likes our new grill.
After a long day of yard work, instead of going inside to take a shower and change….
He sat in front of it, spell bound…. watching our steaks cook through the viewing window.
A man and his grill.
Ah, summer.
Different day…
Different beverage….
Same deer paying absolutely no attention to us when we mow the lawn.
*Rest assured no alcoholic beverages were consumed while operating heavy machinery.
Or light machinery.
Or, Hell…. even the stove now that we bought a new grill.*
Life is good.
Baby buck.
Our resident buck with the felt covered mini rack has flown the proverbial coop, which is a shame, because I think most of you…. some of you?…. alright, at least one of you… was enjoying the fuzzy updates on antler growth progress.
But never fear.
Our old doe, who we call pregnant because she always seems to be, has last year’s progeny with her on a daily basis now.
So we’ll start from scratch.
Baby buck antlers.
At this point, they’re just little nubs that he keeps rubbing on trees and rocks.
And can you blame him?
The poor little guy looks like a four legged Frankenstein.
Reason #56 why you should always have your cell phone nearby.
Hello my name is River, and I’m an addict.
A cell phone addict.
I always have my cell phone.
In my purse, in my pocket, in my hand. It’s rarely more than 10 feet away from me at any given time…. which drives the husband crazy. (This could be because he’s always doing something photo worthy, but that’s another blog entirely.)
The other day as I was sitting on the barn porch with a book and a cheaters bottled cocktail…..
A fly had the audacity to do the backstroke in my margarita.
This will not be tolerated, so after removing the thirsty Esther Williams wannabe?
My cell phone saved the day….
And the rest of my I still don’t feel comfortable going to our local pub for a real one margarita.
Reason #56 why you should always have your cell phone nearby – cocktail fly blocking.
You’re welcome.
Grill shopping.
The unthinkable happened last week.
Our beloved… and only 3 years old damn it… Weber grill died. Not wanting to spend a summer without one, we immediately went hunting for it’s replacement.
I wanted a small one without a side burner, so naturally all the husband looked at were large ones with side burners.
Ah, marriage.
Have you been grill shopping lately?
Holy crap!
I’ve paid less for cars.
Here’s the husband taking one for a test drive.
Literally driving it…. he spun it around a corner and had it up on 2 wheels.
Because Christ, at over a thousand dollars? That bastard better taxi us to the pub on its day off.
I found one I wanted.
Really wanted.
It came with wine!
But no. The husband dragged me to 5 other stores and ended up choosing one from Tractor Supply.
Large?
Oh yeah.
Much larger than we need, but it has stainless steel grates and radiant embers.
What the hell are radiant embers?
I have no idea….
But I bought some lovely filets and we’re going to find out tonight.
