Tag Archives: shopping

Products we all need. Or not.

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Does anyone really need a shower curtain of mushroom derrières?

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No. But you have to admit it does provide a striking visual.

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I know we’ve all gotten lazy, and gardening inside is bad enough… but now there’s an app that allows you to sit on your couch and grow tomatoes with your phone?

Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.

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I laughed at this one, but when the winter Covid surge rolls around and all the grocery stores are out of TP again?

It might be a suitable alternative.

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Okay, that one I might have to buy.

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Cosmo-ly Hell (warning- things go south quickly… literally and figuratively)

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This month’s issue of Cosmopolitan made me wonder why my girlfriend gave me a subscription to this in the first place. Fashion and make up tips? Fine.

But, hey… I don’t have a post pandemic sex bucket list and don’t plan on making one any time soon.

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But if I did?

I can assure you this wouldn’t be on it.

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Good grief. I’ve been known to blog about my trips to the grocery store… but I seriously doubt anyone wants to read about that happening in the middle of aisle 12.

After the bucket list, there was a list of commonly asked questions.

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I don’t know about you, but that’s not something I commonly ask.

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And I can guaran-damn-tee you I’ve never asked that!!

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I’m not going to show the answers to that one, you’ll never look at the contents of your kitchen cabinets the same way, but I’ll leave you with this more than slightly suggestive accompanying photo.

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This.

This is what passes for a woman’s magazine these days.

Hell, I’m not a prude… but it seems like these articles would be more suited to Hustler or Gynecologist’s Quarterly.

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Random drivel.

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Before walking to the mailbox yesterday, I was unaware a voting report card even existed.

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But huzzah!

I think I got an A.

And if there’s anything better than walking into your local grocery store and finding the Kool Aid man wearing a hat full of handmade hedgehogs?

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I’m sure I don’t know what it is.

Now, I don’t claim to be the brightest bulb in the pack…

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But I’m not so dim that I get easily confused by plaid. (Unless I’m throwing back shots. When that happens, I can barely figure out how to open my purse.)

And finally, Maine.

We rarely make the top of any list unless it’s moose or lobster centric so I was quite pleased to see we were number 2 in the fewest amount of Covid cases from June to mid October.

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In case you don’t see your state, here’s the other half of the list.

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North Dakota is the worst in the nation?

I admit that surprised me.

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You know I have to share these things.

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I do. Even though I’m sure you’d rather I didn’t.

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Yes, this exists. Though I think they’re wrong about the Olympic event.

And if you’re thinking…. that’s great River, but I don’t really care for cereal?

I’ve got your back.

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Pooping Champion Gummies.

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And tea.

You’re welcome.

But if that’s not enough to get you excited about this oh so helpful product? Visit their website and check out the fabulous club you can join.

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Now tell me you don’t want to be a card carrying member of that!

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CSA and grocery store giggles.

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The harvests keep on coming.

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Peppers, fennel, radish, celery, bok choy, chard, eggplant, salad greens and spinach.

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Of course it’s fall, so even the eggplants look like pumpkins.

And at the grocery store this week? A run on creamer.

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WTH? Is there a new Covid cure I’m unaware of that requires cream…

Good thing the beer aisle was still fully stocked.

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And if you’re lucky enough to live in an area that stocks Sam Adams? Do yourself a favor and buy their limited edition seasonal. Jack-O Pumpkin is da bomb.

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A four foot rope of sausage? Not so much.

🤢

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Paper towels are still a no go. Except this one lone package… which was on sale. 6 rolls for $13. But look at the regular price. $16. That’s $2.66 a roll!

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With prices like that, is it any wonder people are making their own truck repairs?

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Duct tape. A most versatile product.

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CSA and grocery store horrors.

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Another veggie bonanza.

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Tomatoes, beets, leek, basil, carrots, parsley, squash, radish, chickory, spinach, Korean melon and yes… the dreaded kale.

It’s lovely having fresh organic veggies right out of the ground and buying less at the grocery store’s produce section.

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Tastes like an artichoke. Then why not buy an artichoke? I’m so tired of wannabe food.

Be what you are…. and be happy!

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No.

Burgers are not made from plants! Not in my world anyway. But did you notice the oh so cleverly named Incogmeato only has 32% less fat than the real thing? Where’s the other 68% come from… lard coated arugula?

I’ll pass.

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Right Rice made from vegetables is wrong.

So wrong in fact, check out the bottom left corner of the package. It’s made from chickpeas, peas and.. rice.

Rice made from rice.

What a novel idea.

And then, because I live and shop in Maine? This was also available for purchase:

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A map of mooses.

(Meese?)

Big goofy looking things with horns, often seen in the company of a squirrel.

You can’t miss them.

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The nightmare continues.

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We thought we’d found the perfect used car for our 19 year old niece. A 2008 Hyundai Sante Fe with only 60,000 miles. It was clean, had new tires, brakes, struts, alternator and battery. It rode well and shifted smoothly.

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It was a one owner car with a clean record.

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The price was on the low end of a fair market range.

But because I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t trust anyone, we took it to our trusted mechanic/old friend for a once over.

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He crawled under it to check for rust.

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He put it up on the lift to check whatever you check when you put a car up on a lift.

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He checked the engine and fluids and belts.

He even test drove it.

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We were pretty sure it would get his seal of approval until we pulled back into his garage …

And the dreaded check engine light came on.

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Hooking it up to his handy code reader…. it said error POO18.

Poo is rarely good, but no one wants to spend thousands of dollars on an engine full of it.

P0018 is the OBD-II generic code indicating that the camshaft position sensor A for bank 2 does not correlate to the signal from the crankshaft position sensor.

The bank 2 intake camshaft is out of position compared to the crankshaft position. The bank 2 camshaft phaser is stuck in one position or will not move.

So, poo!

Back to the dealership she went along with my hopes and dreams of ending the month and half long car search we’ve been on for a 19 year old’s first car.

In my day unscrupulous car dealers used to roll back the odometer. These days that’s too difficult, so they just switch off the check engine light instead.

Grrr.

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Beauty products I probably need, but won’t buy.

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This first one makes me laugh because I’ve been saying it for years.

Don’t waste your money on expensive wrinkle creams ladies… just get some spackle and a putty knife to fill in those cracks.

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See?

Same idea… different packaging.

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Bad pun aside, if I want to slather egg white on my face? I’ll wait until it’s time to bake blueberry coffee cake again.

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No plastic egg required.

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This has always baffled me.

It’s ACID…. and peels off a layer of your skin to boost that brightness. Vegan?

Well no shit.

How many cows do you know who are filled with acid?

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Silicone mask brush?

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Looks like another putty knife to me.

Finally, there’s lip lifter.

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Lip lifter.

For Christ’s sake. I have boob lifting bras and butt lifting panties …. now you want me to lift my lips?

I give up.

Gravity, do what you will. As long as I can still lift the martini glass?

I’m good.

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It’s not just for furniture anymore.

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My girlfriend was in the market for furniture and asked me to go with her to the new Jordan’s that opened at the Maine Mall.

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Holy mackerel Batman!

Clearly it’s been a long time since I shopped for a sofa, because this was a totally immersive experience.

Yes, that picture is of the one store… not the mall itself. Huge doesn’t begin to describe it. We walked and walked and walked and thought we’d never find the end.

Some of the furniture was…

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Different.

Let’s go with that.

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Wait…

What?

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Is this the hamster night light option?

Or disco lighting for when your urge to do the Hustle is too strong to ignore?

Either way, I’ll pass.

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The home office section had a few quirky pieces as well.

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They were actually selling these vintage typewriters.

Price? $450.

And yes, I’ll be checking the husband’s barn for one as soon as I’m done posting.

So it was an interesting place. But the weirdest thing of all?

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This:

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Yes.

It’s been long time since I went furniture shopping.

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CSA and grocery store weirdos.

 

Swiss chard, celery, onion, basil, radishes, carrots, dill, scallions, tomato, pepper and something I’d never tried before.

A Korean melon.

 

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It’s a delicate flavor, like cantaloupe… with the consistency of a cucumber.

At the store this week –

 

 

A clearance sale on Hostess coffee.

Poor SnoBalls.

Apparently no one likes them in caffeinated liquid form either.

 

 

Italian flour.

WTH?

Do the Irish and French have some as well. And if so, why?

 

 

Gag.

More meatless meat. This time in balls.

So wrong.

 

 

And yes, the brand name toilet paper was still on the shelves.

But right across the aisle?

 

Not a Brawny or Bounty in sight.

Thirsty paper towels?

Trust me, they’re anything but.