If you see this on your grocer’s shelf?
Keep walking.
I taste tested it for you and it’s horrible.
Oh sure, it’s pretty.
But it tastes neither like Bourbon nor Vanilla.
Very disappointing.
Take my advice. Stick to the original….
Tag Archives: food
Just in time for Halloween.
I like candy.
You probably like candy.
I imagine everyone likes some kind of candy….
I dare you to like this candy.
Yes….. Zombie Skittles are coming to a store near you.
Hidden rotten flavored pieces?
So let me get this straight…. I chew all the normal fruity flavors with stupid new names and then bam!
I swallow one that tastes like a zombie….
What the hell does a zombie taste like?
Okay, thanks.
That certainly clears it up.
Gettin’ my beer on…..
Beer.
We love it, and seek it out on a regular basis.
So when we find a new craft brewery?
Apparently Brickyard Hollow has been open for almost a year and how we never noticed it is a mystery.
Perhaps because the building used to be a 7-11?
Whatever the reason, I’m glad we know now.
There’s a rustic modern decor… which includes those horribly uncomfortable metal chairs that are popping up everywhere.
For the rounded hipped among us? This is not good.
Uncomfortable outdoor seating as well.
But the appropriate vintage photographs provide a relaxing atmosphere…
And then there’s the beer.
Bring on the flights!
We tried the Belgian, the Trestle, the Blueberry and the Amber and they were all lovely. After ordering some full size glasses, I discovered the cocktail menu.
Which had a boozy Lime Rickey.
Of course Yarmouth is a town famous for it’s annual Clam Festival. And when you’re at the Clam Festival? You have to meet the Clam…
And have a freshly squeezed non alcoholic Lime Rickey… they’re delicious.
But a boozy version?
It’s simple, crisp, refreshing…. and filled with gin.
What more could you want?
Happy as the proverbial clam, I moved on to the food.
Rich creamy clam chowder with just the right amount of everything.
Husband went for Blueberry Moonshine wings while I chose a Black and Blue burger and country fries.
While the burger was too thin for my taste, and slightly overcooked…. it did have a fabulous charbroiled flavor and potent Gorgonzola. The fries were dusted with some kind of slightly spicy rub which I could easily have munched on all day.
So…
Brickyard Hollow rates a solid B.
I look forward to going back and trying Key Lime Scallops, a Cuban and a Crab Cake burger.
And of course… more beer.
Never let it be said….
We have boring neighbors.
Looking out the window last week I saw this:
Thinking I was sober…
I found another window to be sure.
Okay, still there.
Yes, there really was a T Rex walking up our neighbor’s driveway.
Why?
Maybe he was on his way to the store….
Maybe he was just out strolling with a friend.
Although what the hell that neon green thing was supposed to be has yet to be determined.
Never a dull moment as Casa River.
Because no one wants….
Jerky that’s just phoning it in.
Perky Jerky.
It’s a thing.
And apparently so is this…
Which is a different type of perky altogether.
Of course, then Google lead me to this…
And yes, I realize you can’t unsee that.
But how often do you actually get to watch a twerking turkey?
You’re welcome.
The post in which River goes to a Lobster Festival but can’t eat lobster.
The following is proof that my husband can inflict cruel and unusual punishment.
It happened at The 72nd Maine Lobster Festival in Rockland, Maine.
We lucked out and found a parking spot close to the festival, and it was across the street from the Trade Winds resort where I spotted the first lobster.
Although it looked more like a demented crawfish…
The stupid thing had teeth!
This did not bode well for the day….
But the weather was perfect…
And we were near the ocean.
It doesn’t get much better than that…
Or does it?
Aaarrgghh!
There be Pirates.
Pirates on the boats…
Pirates on the piers…
Basically, there were pirates everywhere.
And as much as I tried to avoid it?
There was lobster.
Mocking me and my damned allergy.
World’s Largest Lobster cooker?
Yup… that too.
We passed lobster rolls, lobster stew, lobster quesadillas, lobster mac and cheese, lobster chowder, lobster Caesar salad, lobster wontons, even lobster risotto balls….
And then there was this:
Me…. sitting in a tent, surrounded by people eating lobster.
I had to sit and watch my husband as he oohed and ahhed over every last sweet, fresh from the water, dripping in melted butter, bite.
Cruel and unusual to be sure.
It wasn’t easy.
I tried to find solace in a crabmeat roll…
And the required I’m at a street festival and have to eat the junkiest, highest calorie thing I can find fried dough.
It was good… but it wasn’t lobster.
Cursing my treacherous body, I pulled up my big girl panties and soldiered on.
We strolled through the art show…
And into the lobster trap lined entrance to the craft show.
Where the husband bought organic natural honey…
And we saw a buoy that believed size does matter….
There was another tent filled with lobster eaters…
And King Neptune….
Who looked a little lost.
The King is quite popular at the festival….
And people line up for photos whenever he walks by.
My lobster-less belly aside, it was a fun day.
And Rockland is a fun town.
Although I have to admit, the children do look a little….
Off.
I bet you didn’t know….
Flying fish and Coo Coo is the national dish of Barbados.
But I did, because….
Did you know….
When CBS broadcast the first ever color television show they were the only ones who actually owned a color television?
Did you know…
The Egyptian hieroglyph for one hundred thousand is a tadpole?
Kind of makes you wonder what they were counting…
Did you know…
A snallygaster is a mythical dragon like beast that supposedly haunts rural Maryland?
And all this time I thought it was just David Hasslehoff.
Did you know…
Lachanophobia is the fear of vegetables?
Like kale.
That shit is everywhere.
Did you know…
Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahac?
Roughly translated Cuitlahac means “plenty of excrement”.
Clearly Monty’s sister had a sense of humor.
Did you know…
In Japan, robots pay union dues.
Which answers the age old age question…
Who killed Jimmy Hoffa?
For bird nerds.
If you don’t spend countless hours staring out the window with camera in hand to see if a new bird has shown up at the horrendously expensive buffet of seeds, nuts and suet you arrange on what used to be your laundry pole?
Feel free to skip this post.
But birders will get it.
The other day I spotted a Red Bellied Woodpecker. They used to be relatively rare in Maine and all the field guides say they shouldn’t come any farther north than Massachusetts… yet here they are.
Trying to get an unobstructed shot of one proved a bit more difficult.
Juvenile starlings are notorious photo bombers.
Almost…
Finally.
An even rarer spotting was this Scarlet Tanager.
They’re usually forest dwellers and our place is pretty open.
So I was tickled pink when this little beauty showed up.
Or red, as the case may be.
That’s the wonderful thing about bird watching, you never know what you’ll see.
By now our Baltimore Orioles are usually long gone, but this year I bought a feeder that houses grape jelly so they seem to be sticking around.
These two made me laugh.
They seemed to be squaring off for an orange eating contest.
Granted it doesn’t provide the same excitement of hot dog eating contests…
But there’s also less chance of projectile vomit…
So that’s a plus.
Bird watching… there’s never a dull moment.
Alright, I lie. There are plenty of excruciatingly dull moments, but when something special does happen?
You smile.
Anne Taintor still gets me…
It’s time for another peak into my absolute favorite desk calendar.
And all these months later?
She can still read my mind.
I think that one is self explanatory.
If you’re not familiar with Anne, she takes those innocent snapshots of the perfect 1950’s housewives and gives them a little twist.
If that isn’t incentive enough to fly…
I don’t know what is.
Yes….
Blue things have occasionally been found growing in the back of my refrigerator.
And we’re not talking Jello.
While I have often expressed this next sentiment…
If you look very closely…
Happy housewife on the right appears to have been holding something that was digitally removed…. and it seems to have been oblong.
Was it a Twinkie? A hot dog?
Or was this Lorena Bobbit’s grandmother?
Tough call.
And finally…
This has always been my philosophy.
Smiling.
It’s so over rated.
And they talk about women!
The hunt for a new refrigerator continues, and just as I had finished extensive research and narrowed the field down to this one…
The husband decided he wanted to go shopping and check them out for himself.
Granted, it’s a large purchase and I wanted him to like what I chose.
But ya know what?
I took him to the store and showed him my choice, which he walked right by and made a bee line for:
No.
And again? No.
Aside from the jaw dropping price tag? There’s no way I’m going to buy a refrigerator that tells me I’m out of cucumbers or what to cook for dinner.
Christ, do we really need “smart” appliances?
The day I’m too old and doddering to realize I’m out of cucumbers? I’ll stop cooking altogether.
In case you’re unfamiliar, there’s basically a computer on the door. You can make grocery lists, find recipes with the ingredients it knows are in there, and it will even link with your phone so you can check your expiration dates from remote locations.
Among other useful things….
Geesh.
All I want is cold food and ice.
Great. Scratch the ice.
So we shopped, and shopped, and shopped.
And the husband said that one’s shelves were too small, that one’s lights were too bright, that one’s drawers were too deep…. etc etc etc.
To which, after grueling 5 hours I said..
“Come on Goldilocks!”
So he picked one.
And though it’s almost exactly the same as the one I’d picked a week earlier?
This one is $700 more.
So, men?
I don’t want to hear you say your wives are spending all the money.
My husband can out shop the best of ’em.
River's world..... 