Tag Archives: humor

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The circle of life.

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As you already know, my husband is the king of free. He can’t pass up anything, no matter how useless…. as long as he doesn’t have to pay for it.

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This has driven me nuts for years and I have never, ever! felt the need to join him in his obsession.

Until last week.

When I saw this on our local Facebook page:

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Pre-Covid our plan was to replace all the flooring in our home. (Post Covid? Holy crap, I don’t want strange people in my house!) Along with that plan would have come long overdue new furniture, to include coffee tables. So since the plan went out the window with the plague, I thought why not? This looks good… and it might be a nice interim fix.

I should have known.

When the husband lifted it out of the truck? It jiggled…. and never even made it into the house. What an utter piece of junk! Fake wood, loose glass and legs so unsteady dropping a napkin on it would probably cause it to collapse.

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Out it went, in front of our house.

How bad was it?

The damn thing was there for a week and though lots of people looked, no one wanted it.

Next stop?

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The recycle center.

Where I left it…. and my desire to ever pick up anything marked free again.

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Uncategorized

Games to play with your mouth breathing friends.

19 Comments

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We all have them. That special group of friends you’ve known for years but don’t like to advertise. You can’t invite them out to dinner with your crew, and you won’t bring them to the cocktail party at work. But thanks to me? You could ask them to your house to play a game right up their alley.

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So they’re not the brightest bulbs in the pack?

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No problem.

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This is a game that won’t embarrass the less than erudite among us.

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And they get to hit people with a club!

You know they’re going to love it.

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Neanderthals.

Admit it, you know a few.

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Notebooks we all need.

25 Comments

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Just in time for Christmas … I bring you the perfect stocking stuffers.

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That one’s bound to fill up in no time.

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I am so buying this for my husband.

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Who in their right mind would want written proof of that?

Pass.

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I may need 3 or 4 of these.

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If you have an extra world take over plan kicking around, feel free to share. Mine are usually hatched after a pitcher of margaritas and tend to be less strategically sound when read sober.

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No comment.

Hard pass.

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Reason? When have I ever needed one of those…

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The end is in sight. I think…

22 Comments

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A few more windows needed trimming…

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Which meant a lot more measuring, cutting and cursing…

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Why the cursing?

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Because the last window was not what you… or any semi sober person… would call square.

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Oops.

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Cover the gap with quarter round, trim…. then call it good and move on to the porch door.

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Yes, the porch is my domain … so the porch door has a seasonally appropriate wreath. Man cave be damned.

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Trimming this slapped together frame for a door that came from the dump proved challenging.

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And yes, the language got as colorful as the wreath.

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But it was only when the husband looked down…

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And realized the floor moulding should meet the vertical door trim… not the other way around… that he knew he had some tinkering to do.

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But viola!

Adjustments were made and everything that needed to be trimmed was finally trimmed.

Is this the end of the Barn Mahal interior construction?

Only time will tell.

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Even the pandemic doesn’t stop them…

21 Comments

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I went out the mailbox the other day, found a hand addressed letter and thought, how nice! Someone took the time to put pen to paper like we used to.

And then I read it.

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Damn.

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It seems Covid 19 has stopped those annoying Jehovah Witnesses from knocking on our door…

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But they’ve found an alternate way to try and spread their word.

Oh well, I’m sure the post office appreciates the added revenue.

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She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.

33 Comments

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Alternate title : The Bitch is Back.

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Still on our roof.

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Still trying to chew her way back into our house.

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Look at her.

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Taunting me.

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We’ve sealed up every entry point we can find.

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But she keeps looking.

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Did I laugh when she scrambled on top of the gutter, slipped and fell in the downspout?

Damn right I did.

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Uncategorized

Pandemic humor.

19 Comments

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Because we all need to laugh more often.

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I don’t know, but FFS…. someone send her back.

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How exactly does one do that?

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We’ll all be doing this come January.

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Yes.

That sounds about right.

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Guess it’s been a rough year for everyone.

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Oh, those Brits.

Ever helpful with the good advice.

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Here’s hoping your holiday is happy, safe and free of tactical response teams.

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Uncategorized

Admit it, you want these.

19 Comments

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I mean, really. Who wouldn’t?

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A wiener beverage is a beautiful thing.

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Who knew pricks were so helpful?

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I’ve been seeing a lot of the next type of item recently.

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If someone could explain the current fascination with unicorn bodily functions to me, that would be swell.

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Mixed tapes?

Someone needs to set Marty McFly’s dial to the 21rst Century.

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First it was cat butts, now Corgi.

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The world really has gone mad.

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Uncategorized

With apologies to the yoga follower I deleted.

18 Comments

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You know the drill… if you’re a business blog and are trying to sell me something? You’re history.

This goes for the slew of robotic self help sites as well. I’m as good as I’m ever going to get. I’ve accepted that… they should as well.

So yes, I zapped a yoga promoting site that followed me recently… but not before I checked out their page.

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Yoga? No thanks. The days of twisting my body into a pretzel are long gone. The husband isn’t happy about that either…. but what are ya gonna do?

But beer? There’s an exercise routine I fully support.

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Drinking beer and posing? Heck, I’ve been doing that for years!

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Beer.

I always figured it went with everything. But yoga?

Who knew!

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