Because laughter is the cheapest form of therapy.
Damn!
That must be it.
At least now I know where it all went.
A pox on you Picard family.
Wow.
That’s something to ponder.
Jesus!
So did I.
They’re right, we were.
And none of us listened.
I anxiously await the day.
My husband watches television to relax.
And while he’s usually knee deep in the news or old westerns, occasionally there will be a bit of classic cinema thrown into the mix.
Last week?
It was The Giant Claw.
Alternate title? When Dr. Seuss goes horribly wrong.
I mean come on.
Only a mother could love that face.
Engineer Mitch MacAfee (Jeff Morrow) spots a UFO while directing a study at the North Pole. But when the Air Force arrives they find nothing on radar, throwing Mitch’s reputation into doubt. But soon many airplanes are reporting attacks by a UFO, which turns out to be a giant speeding bird from outer space. Along with mathematician Sally Caldwell (Mara Corday), Mitch tries to determine a way to stop the bird, which has a force field that renders all weapons useless.
Yup. It was a classic.
Big Bird terrorizes New York.
Here he is attacking the United Nations.
1950’s people were running.
Which seemed to please the bird to no end.
Airplanes?
Yeah, he liked those too.
But never fear, these scientists will save the day.
The world is counting on them.
Bird was not impressed.
But look at all those high tech tubes and toggle switches!
It was only a matter of time.
The Giant Claw was toast…
And slowly sunk into the Hudson River.
Classic!
Not worthy of a blog of their own, but random interesting stuff all the same.
(And by interesting, you know I mean not at all interesting… just random information you didn’t want nor need but I feel compelled to share anyway)
I read a lot…. and before now have never thought of myself as any of these.
But from now on?
I’m an ink drinker all the way.
Yes, I bought myself a frying pan that’s reinforced by diamonds.
Because my fried chicken deserves the very best.
My rose is blooming like a lolly pop.
Is this earth shattering news you can use?
No.
But nothing I say ever is.
This claims to be the perfect Cosmopolitan recipe.
I shall research it extensively and report back.
Sadly, we had to shop for 2 headstones for recently passed members of my husband’s family.
After we picked the size of the stone, and the color of the granite….this was what we were given. Sheets of paper with literally thousands of designs that were printed so small, even reading glasses and a magnifying glass barely helped us make them out.
I believe the husband chose a lighthouse for one…. but it could as easily have been a beer keg.
Time will tell.
Danger Will Robinson!
If you’ve never experienced a browntail moth rash you haven’t lived a full life. Imagine mixing poison ivy with fire ants and chicken pox…. and you might come close.
These little bastards have moved into Maine and are stripping our trees bare. And if you happen to brush up against one of them? Hang on, because you’ll attempt to rip the skin off your bones within 12 hours. Nothing stops the itch except a spray that comes in a one ounce bottle sold by one hospital in the state for $65 per. Insurance won’t cover it and you need a doctor’s prescription to purchase it.
I get the rash at least 3 times a year.
Good times.
And finally, if you’ve been wondering what people are doing to keep busy during the pandemic… or how they’re spending their stimulus money?
Wonder no longer.
Hope springs eternal, at least for my husband when it comes to trees.
The three oaks he transplanted a while ago croaked and had to be dug up.
So when we were in the middle of a drought and a heat wave?
He figured that would be a great time for us to plant 10 apple trees.
Holes were dug in ground that felt like cement.
And I had to run the bucket brigade again.
Because naturally he wanted to plant them at the far ends of our property.
But I did find some wild raspberries.
And blackberries.
It took us all damned day.
But trees were planted.
The heat was intense and I told him this was the wrong time of year to plant.
But you know how that went.
Will he water and fertilize and care for these new transplants in this mid summer heat wave?
Hell no.
Say goodbye trees, you’re doomed.
We had our first little guy sighting of the season the other day.
And oh my goodness….
If that isn’t the definition of the word sweet I’ll eat a kale souffle.
The family kept a close huddle on the food.
But Junior managed to push his/her way into the fray.
I think I might have audibly squeaked in joy at that point.
Bambi!
We knew some of the does were pregnant, but they won’t bring the fawns up out of the woods for the first few months.
And even then it’s usually very early in the morning when yours truly is still in dreamland.
So it was wonderful to see them in the late late afternoon when the sun was still shining and providing light for pictures.
Welcome to the herd little one.
You’ll want to stick around, the crazy lady with the camera lays out a pretty nice buffet.
This is the time of year my heart goes out to these graceful wild creatures.
Because in Maine?
It’s fly season.
And there’s nothing flies like more than a juicy deer.
The poor things are covered in them.
Day and night, night and day.
All over their bodies.
They twitch, they scratch, they shake like a Parkinson’s patient to no avail.
I can’t even imagine how horrible this must be.
I go berserk if one nasty fly finds me when I’m mowing the lawn…. I’d be stark raving mad if I had to contend with this many!
Remember how I posted about a red pepper that wanted a kiss a while back?
Well, the creepy food phenomenon continues.
My potatoes are smiling.
And my blueberry pancakes are giving me the eye.
I’m beginning to dread going in the kitchen.
Okay, I admit it.
The little rat bastards fellows are cute.
Sitting on the railing….
With vibrant day lilies blooming in the background…..
Voguing for the camera like some fur covered super model.
Though I highly doubt Naomi Campbell ever pooped on her runway.
Cute, yes…
But you’re still a giant pain in my ass!
I know we’ve all become lazy housebound sods who can’t be bothered to put on pants during the pandemic, but this?
This is a bridge too far.
The day I’m too lazy to stir my own pan you have permission to slit my throat, fill it with kale and put me out of my misery.
And while I’m all for cocktails?
I have absolutely no intention of sharing my margaritas with llamas.
Nope.
Not happening.
Oh, yeah.
Kitty Hitler looks positively thrilled.
Let’s ponder this for a moment.
Someone thought about, invented, pitched, found investment capital and marketed….. a hammock for fish.
Is this a great country or what!
And finally…. when your dog no longer needs his collar of shame?
Viola!
You can re-purpose it in the kitchen.
You’re welcome.
Woodchucks are still being tormented by starlings.
And are sometimes drastically outnumbered.
Deer and fox happily dine together.
Squirrel keeps an eye on deer.
But calls in back up.
Until another fox shows up.
Who is so chill he lays down and eats like a Roman.
How chill?
He even smiles for the camera.
Deer, fox and squirrels depart, woodchucks return.
It’s the circle of life.
Otherwise known as an average afternoon in our backyard.
*note – these pictures were taken before the drought turned our lawn a lovely shade of brown*
River's world..... 