Because it’s not over yet and laughter is still the only medicine.
Okay ladies, who’s with me?
I hope this was helpful.
Personally, I’ve never been peed on…. but you can never be too careful.
Fess up.
Which one of you morons did this and cursed us all?
Corona like a Viking!
Sword optional.
So take one for the team.
If I have to wear a bra in public, it’s the least you can do.
Or is this pepper puckering up for a kiss?
Fresh produce is one thing.
But fresh produce?
That’s a bridge too far.
My husband surprised me the other day with new gutters.
Yes…. some women get diamonds, I get downspouts.
But these had been a long time coming and after nearly being bludgeoned by icicles from water running off the garage last winter?
It was time.
I had other things to do that day but husband asked me to help for 30 minutes because he said that’s all it would take.
Silly, silly man.
The first section went up easily.
Too easily as it turns out….
Which the hose test proved.
It leaked.
I was then directed to a different spot, which also leaked.
Vowing to fix it later, the husband moved on, installed 2 more sections and then needed an end cap.
Which I now believe are the work of the devil.
One of these should have fit on the end of that piece to block the water.
Please note my use of the word should.
Adjustments were made.
Then larger adjustments.
Some of them not at all subtle.
But it worked.
Of course we were still left with the leaking problem on the first section. And after much discussion, it was decided the shingles on the non leaking end…
Over hung the roof a fraction of an inch further…
Than the shingles on the leaking end. And there’s not much you can do about that.
My solution?
Caulk it!
But the husband hates caulk so we spent the next 3 hours, yes… 3 hours….. trying to find a solution.
Little pieces of white plastic were cut to sit on the top of the clips and divert the flow.
But it didn’t work.
Long pieces of clear plastic were sought.
And carefully cut into strips to tuck under the flashing.
But still, it leaked.
Numerous ladder safety warnings were ignored during this process.
And still, it leaked.
Late in the afternoon, after spending way too much time on a half hour project….
The husband surrendered.
It’s raining as I write this…. and guess what?
No leaks.
Woodchucks!
Posing in clover.
Having a healthy snack.
Kissing.
Or biting, who the hell knows? They’re rodents….. for all I know they’re discussing campaign strategy.
They love lettuce.
And since we’ve been flooded with it from our CSA, so have they.
Behold –
My first photo of momma and 4 babies together.
She’s down 2 due to fox predation, so the sextuplets are now quadruplets.
Poor momma.
She’s fiercely protective, but Mother Nature always has the final say.
Like these quick shots I didn’t have time to focus.
Do you suppose that starling called Uber….
And this was what showed up?
Mind you, it’s custom made for this particular grill so it’s not a matter of fit.
So why on earth would a cover, that’s ostensibly used to protect the metal from the elements, have an opening of netted mesh where the metal controls are located?
Why?
2. Mexican toilet paper.
I live in Maine, which is as far as you can get from Mexico and still be in the United States….
So why were these the only brands available on the grocery store shelf this week?
Why?
3. Why is there a squirrel on top of my bicycle in the garage?
If your answer is “You don’t ride it, so why shouldn’t he?” that’s technically correct, but doesn’t explain how he got in the garage or why he wouldn’t rather use that special car wash broom attachment my husband had to have but never used instead. He had to walk past 2 dirty cars to find the bicycle…. and that’s just rude.
Why?
4. Why is there coffee all over my kitchen cabinets?
Not the lower cabinets mind you, where I could understand a little spillage…. but the upper. Did Micheal J. Fox sneak in for a cuppa while I wasn’t looking? Was the husband gettin’ jiggy with it while I was in the shower?
I don’t drink coffee, so no. I didn’t catch a glimpse of a bare chested Jason Momoa on the television and have a muscle spasm.
Photo for reference purposes only.
Really.
And to think it only took me an hour to choose that particular shot. 😈
So…. why?
If you can explain any of these unexplainable circumstances, I’d be most grateful.
But there’s a woodchuck right behind you.
The deer was oblivious for quite a while.
But when she finally did realize it….
The interspecies communication did not go well.
Chuck – 1.
Deer – 0.
This week’s offering from our CSA was a little lean on our end because there were a lot of things we don’t eat and elected to let our neighbor take.
Cilantro, bok choi, kale, turnips, spigarello, fennel, and kohlrabi? We passed.
But the chard was rainbow colored…
So there is that.
And in the continuing saga of bizarre grocery items found on my local shelves…..
Every possible mutation of pasta imaginable are still being pushed.
As is the ever present (and still disgusting) kale.
Delicious? I doubt it.
Crazy good? Not possible.
Stop the insanity and put kale back where it belongs…. in a rabbit’s colon. Other than the trash can, that’s the only proper place.
Thankfully there was one sane product line of which I took full advantage.
Let the grilling begin.
Yes.
I’m literally going to talk about crap…. and you’re going to wonder why you ever started following me in the first place.
Piles of crap have suddenly begun showing up on our front lawn.
Same spot, by the kitchen door, every morning, totaling 4 piles.
Sorry, I can’t.
Weird as it sounds, we’ve lived here for 18 years and have never had a dog leave a deposit. Ever!
It’s too big for woodchuck or fox. And it’s not skunk. They leave a trail of small black poo nuggets on the driveway.
We have started seeing raccoons late at night, and they do make the rounds.
But I’m thinking coyotes might be setting us up as a rural rest stop.
So if any of my readers are expert scat identifiers?
Now would be the time to weigh in.
*Poop Update – since writing this the other day.
The count is up to 5 piles, and since it rained…. closer examination of contents was possible.
(Still with me? You really are loyal readers!)
Seeds.
I think we can safely rule out coyote now.
There’s nothing like the internet to make you feel inadequate.
And while I consider myself a relatively good cook, photos of the latest trend in baking shared by a friend are making me doubt my commitment.
Because, to be honest….
This type of magic never occurs in my kitchen.
I can’t even blame it on not having the time…
Because that’s something I have plenty of right now.
So all I can say is …. stop.
Stop making the rest of us look like slackers.
Asshole.
Now you’re just showing off.
We’ve been busy with other things outside, but I’m still managing to keep Amazon afloat during the pandemic.
And if you’re dying to read the new Hunger Games book? Don’t bother, it was rather disappointing. And while I’d given up on Stephen King… this new collection of short stories has my late BIL in it again, thinly disguised but still recognizable to those who knew him. He and Stephen went to school together.
And no, I won’t tell you which character. I’m evil that way.
The fabulous rose I planted last year has finally decided to bloom.
And it was worth waiting for.
On another note, isn’t it great when your friends get you?
My girlfriend gave me this the other day and damn, it’s perfect!
As is this beauty.
Have you ever tried to photograph butterflies?
It’s not easy. This was the one lucky shot out of 20.
Our raccoon decided to take a bath, dig through my garden bed and then attempted to climb up the garage the other night.
Why? I have no idea.
But even I can’t argue with that.
River's world..... 