Sailor’s delight.
Pink sky in morning….
Sailors take warning.
Our backyard sky Sunday morning.
Uh oh.
Our weather has been wacky lately.
Bright sun and 55 degrees one day….
Cold, snow and bitter wind the next.
Oh well..
We’ll get there eventually.
But not today….
Me, shoveling Tuesday morning…..
And not really enjoying April.
Come on spring!
Nothing blooming here but snowflakes…
But that doesn’t mean I can’t import a little now and then.
As for the upcoming holiday?
I’ve been known to give some interesting birthdays gifts in my time.
Some elicit laughter, some tears….
Some? Downright befuddlement.
It’s all good.
In the past few years, I’ve gifted my husband with experiences as well as tangible items.
2014 was a beer making lesson.
Friends and family joined us for what I thought would be a laugh a minute celebration…
Ah, look at those happy faces.
(Word of warning – if you’re thinking about trying it? There’s a lot more to beer than drinking. And I don’t recommend any of it.)
Beer drinking? Fun!
Beer making?
Not so much.
It’s a long involved process…. that I completely stopped caring about two hours in.
Poor husband.
Look at him… he had his tasting glass ready and it wasn’t anywhere near finished.
Birthday experience gift rating on a scale of 1 to 10?
4.
Last year I nailed it with a School of Falconry class.
This was fabulous and we both enjoyed it immensely.
Husband got up close and personal with a Harris Hawk and a Peregrine Falcon.
And they were both beautiful creatures.
Learning to handle them can be challenging.
As well as a little intimidating.
Of course, they were nothing compared to the instructor.
She was downright terrifying.
(I think the husband had flashbacks to boot camp and reverted to a quivering PFC before my eyes.)
But baggie of dead quails aside?
An awesome day.
Birthday experience gift rating?
A definite 10!
So this year, along with the rock and other assorted presents…
I gave him a helicopter.
Okay, calm down.
Those babies go for $425,000.
I gave him the experience of learning how to fly a helicopter.
Half an hour class instruction, half an hour flying time with 2 guests.
I’m not sure when we’ll do it, most likely after the weather warms up.
But I’m guessing it’s going to be a good one!
Assuming we don’t die in a flaming fireball of a crash…
That’s bound to reduce the rating.
Dinner with friends a while back was here.
A renovated old Federal House built in 1786.
Getting a reservation is tough as they only do 3 seatings a night, but it’s well worth the wait.
Walking in, I’m always struck by the low ceilings and even lower lamp placement.
I know we were a shorter race of people back in 1786…
But were we that short?
There was a raucous crowd of 95 downstairs, celebrating someone’s 50th birthday. I would dearly have loved to join them, ( some arrived in a hearse!) but our waitress escorted us up the stairs.
To a quiet dining room with dated wallpaper and curtains, where we were given the menu.
It changes weekly, and all meals are 5 course for $36.95.
You’re welcome.
And thank you for the fine Patron margaritas….
Okay, this is getting out of hand.
The food was lovely.
Home baked wheat bread with honey butter.
Scallop stuffed mushroom caps… which I ate too quickly to photograph.
Caesar salad.
Bacon wrapped Filet mignon with sweet fig demi glace, medium rare and tender enough to slice with your spoon.
I was too full for dessert but since it was included, the husband had his white chocolate raspberry cheesecake there… and took mine to go.
We waddled out some time later, only to be blocked in by the hearse.
Seriously… you have to love people who rent hearse transportation for their birthday parties.
I didn’t even know that was possible.
But now I totally want to pick up the girls for a night out sometime soon!
Let’s begin.
1. John Quincy Adams went skinny dipping in the Potomac on his 79th birthday.
If this mental image has to be stuck in my head?
I want it to be stuck in yours as well.
2. After eating, the common housefly regurgitates it’s food and eats it again.
Because sometimes, pizza is just that good.
3. Charlie Brown’s father is a barber.
Admit it, you never knew that.
You’re welcome.
4. A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in relation to it’s size.
Oddly enough, this is a question that’s rarely asked in trivia games.
And Lord knows, I’ve been waiting to dazzle crowds with my barnacle member dimension knowledge for years.
5. There’s a town in Texas called Ding Dong.
Truly, there is.
It’s north of Austin.
And I have a question for Texas bloggers…
WTH?
I’m all for being proud of your home town, but….
Damn.
We recently celebrated my husband’s birthday.
And as I posted earlier, among other things….
I gave him a rock.
Because I’m that kind of wife.
We celebrated at a friend’s house, and naturally he was speechless.
Okay, at first he didn’t know what the hell it was.
But that’s not always a bad thing. And he could honestly say no one had ever given him a rock before… so that should count for something.
But if you thought that was odd?
Witness the gift our friends gave him.
At first it was a box filled with the weirdest packing peanuts I’d ever seen.
Then it was a little box that said..
And then…
And…
Are you noticing the trend?
This went on forever.
And while I’m sure it was funnier with the 3 margaritas I’d had, even sober ….you have to applaud the effort.
Finally he reached the end.
And I thought, oh yeah.
This is going to be good.
I was wrong.
Very, very wrong.
Huh?
Turns out it was a war nickel which had popped up while my husband was playing poker with the guys a while back. Husband is a coin collector, and had explained what it was to the group.
So….
Yeah.
They gave him a nickel.
And I gave him a rock.
Do we know how to make a birthday boy happy or what?
Have you ever shopped Origins?
It’s a high end supposedly all natural line of skin care, scent etc.
I stopped in the other day with a girlfriend and while she was buying, I was browsing.
Naturally I was stalked by a saleswoman.
If you know me, you’ll know I hate this… and if you trail me around like a blue tick hound?
I won’t buy anything just out of spite.
I’m in your store. With my wallet. There’s a good chance I’ll buy something if I like it… so leave me the hell alone.
She wouldn’t… so I didn’t.
Seeing her commission walk out the door was apparently too much for this woman, because as I was leaving she handed me a sample pack of products….
With a long detailed description of how wonderful they were and how much I would love them.
It was a little mushroom heavy for my taste… but hey, free is free.
Free?
Maybe.
But when I got home and opened the samples?
The quantity, or lack there of…. surprised even me.
Sorry Origins.
I’d like to tell you I loved them…
But you didn’t give me nearly enough to find out.
But sometimes, my question is this…
Why would you want to?
Personally, I’ve never felt the need to shed my skin like a snake…
But okay, whatever floats your boat.
And while I enjoy a good bug museum as much as the next girl…
I’ve never felt the need to actually snack on them.
Eww.
This one?
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it just looks…
Wrong.
Likewise for Fred and friends dunking their nether regions in my cup of hot tea.
Just…
No.
I could probably get behind the bread alignment pad…
And sure.
Wine condoms, if anyone actually ever has leftover wine.
(Is that even possible?)
But this last one –
Is not only an affront to common decency…
But the ruination of every backyard bbq and clambake in my foreseeable future.
Damn you Amazon…
I may never eat corn again.
Yes… I’m knee deep in my Spam folder again.
Apologies, but this stuff is comedic gold.
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Because you never know where they’ll turn up.
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When I first read this, I thought it said he was going to snatch my ass because he couldn’t find an email link.
Hey, my blogs are good.
But not that good….
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While their appreciation of my fruit is noted, I’m not sure anyone who buys their Sushi at 7-11 can really be trusted.
I mean come on, their potato chips aren’t even fresh.
And finally..
Hanh Bencomo
Who seems to be on the fence when it comes to my posts…
There are some attention-grabbing time limits in this article but I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There may be some validity however I’ll take hold opinion till I look into it further
I really don’t see what the problem is.
I’m a frickin’ delight.
As many of you know, we have a timeshare.
And no, I don’t want to sell it it you.
But timeshares aren’t what they used to be, and we aren’t stuck with just one week in Boca for the rest of our lives.
We travel when we want, where we want, for as long as we want and we’re loving it. When we no longer love it, we’ll give it to someone else so they can love it too.
Last year when we were vacationing in the Berkshires, we ran into a veteran and his wife at our resort in the mountains. Naturally, the men spotted each other’s Marine Corps hats and began an hour long conversation detailing where they were stationed and when. Fascinating as that was, I struck up a conversation with the wife and asked how she liked the condo. She said she loved it and you couldn’t beat the deals they get with AFVC. ( Armed Forces Vacation Club ) 7 nights in a 1 bedroom unit for $349. (Turns out I could beat it with our timeshare last call program, 7 nights in a bigger 2 bedroom, 2 bath unit for $299… but I kept that to myself.)
But the idea intrigued me, so when we got home I joined. For free.
It’s open to:
For women, it’s an inescapable fact.
We age… and things start to head south.
One day you wake up and the girls aren’t as perky as they used to be.
And before you know it?
You’re searching the jeans section for the ones that include butt lifters.
Spanx……
Minimizers….
Over the shoulder boulder holders….
The entire foundation undergarment industry is built on defying female gravity.
And because I’m over 40? (Okay, way over… now shut up)
I’ve got plenty that’s starting the downward descent…
So when I was cruising Bed Bath and Beyond the other day and saw this?
It really ticked me off.
WTF!
Now I have to start worrying that my earrings are going to sag?
It’s enough to make me turn in my woman card.
River's world..... 